So, I love you! You brought in Bojan, Xabi, AND Stevie! Okay, maybe breaking up Fabriqué is a bit much- Iker can be his boyfriend, but please at least let them be best friends :( Gery's a tad too insensitive though... To say that no one ever comes back, in front of Sergio...
By the way, you had me so scared at 'that Fabregas boy'. I honestly thought you were going to kill off Cesc, instead of his made up brother. And I'm left feeling terrible that I was glad this one character died instead of the other :(
Great story though. Around how many chapters are you planning to make it?
oh.....wow this chapter. I can't even begin to put together a decent comment, but I'll give it my best shot.
Of course its depressing, but I didn't expect anything else out of a war fic. What really struck me about this chapter, were your descriptions of the actions and feelings of Sergio; when he gets the letter, and especially when he goes swimming in the crick after the funeral, for some reason that scene just stuck with me.
Gerard realizes what he's said quite suddenly and his feet stop banging at the table. Silence hisses in Sergio's ears.
“You’re such a fucking… you’re so…” Sergio trails off.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I- I’m really- I’m sorry,” Gerard says, and though Sergio can tell that he means truly means it, the damage has been done.
“Forget it. Forget all about it,” Sergio says, and he means it.
That entire scene is brilliant. The tension, Gerard's slip up and Sergio's reaction. Just lovely.
the ending, wow.a;lfokasokf. i have tears in my eyes, to be honest. i'm loving this so,so much. i love what you're doing with it & how it's not a fluffy, glossed-over version. you can tell you've done your research & know what you're talking about.
i'm absolutely in love with this. i hope pique grows up a little :(
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By the way, you had me so scared at 'that Fabregas boy'. I honestly thought you were going to kill off Cesc, instead of his made up brother. And I'm left feeling terrible that I was glad this one character died instead of the other :(
Great story though. Around how many chapters are you planning to make it?
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And yeah, but I can assure you that Gery doesn't mean any harm. He simply just doesn't understand why Cesc isn't proud of his brother.
Ha, nope. I wouldn't do that to you, yet >:D
As far as length, I think that it will probably be somewhere from 15-20 chapters. It really depends.
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Of course its depressing, but I didn't expect anything else out of a war fic. What really struck me about this chapter, were your descriptions of the actions and feelings of Sergio; when he gets the letter, and especially when he goes swimming in the crick after the funeral, for some reason that scene just stuck with me.
I cannot wait to read more.
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There will be moments that aren't depressing at all, though. :D
I actually struggle quite a bit with writing Sergio alone, so thank you very much for that!
Thank you for reading.
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Gerard realizes what he's said quite suddenly and his feet stop banging at the table. Silence hisses in Sergio's ears.
“You’re such a fucking… you’re so…” Sergio trails off.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I- I’m really- I’m sorry,” Gerard says, and though Sergio can tell that he means truly means it, the damage has been done.
“Forget it. Forget all about it,” Sergio says, and he means it.
That entire scene is brilliant. The tension, Gerard's slip up and Sergio's reaction. Just lovely.
Reply
Reply
the ending, wow.a;lfokasokf. i have tears in my eyes, to be honest. i'm loving this so,so much. i love what you're doing with it & how it's not a fluffy, glossed-over version. you can tell you've done your research & know what you're talking about.
i'm absolutely in love with this. i hope pique grows up a little :(
great job, can't wait for the next chapter! ♥
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:D
Haha, I'm glad it seems like I at least vaguely know what I'm talking about because I'm not sure a lot of the time. >__>
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