It's funny how the nightlife sings and slurs and chants a song ( Read more... )

I've recently become aware of the fact that writing for me is somewhat of a hidden talent. You might not get that impression by the words you are currently reading, but you might understand more as you continue reading this entry. I am somewhat dependent on a variable in my life that shadows my every move. Coincidentally I find myself surrounded by ( Read more... )

I just read the most depressing entry that I will not post because I resent even writing it in the first place. I realized today that I spend most of my time on this journal when I am in somewhat incoherent.

sad.

goodnight.

I find myself in a constant struggle between what's right and what's wrong. I'm like a giant rope being tugged in both directions by friends and substances that I still don't have a grasp of. And so... tug away.

The mixture is crippling. I hear the voices but the image blurs more immensely with every second that passes. The scribbles that I scratch into the lined paper form words. The joints in my fingers freeze and make each scribble a monotonous obsession of which I cannot slow or stop. The poison doesn't help. Neithter does a phone call. Neithter does ( Read more... )

the illusion that light aquires when breaking through limbs and smoke is quite amusing. Almost as if the hinderence is a nusence. Almost as if the barrier is a plague. I saw light in its weakest point tonight, shining through layers of it might call a boundry of it's own limitation. Poor light. Poor sky. The stars weren't as convincing tonight. ( Read more... )

I'm the classical fool rushing in. The media driven individual straying from the crowd in order to fit in. Sure I have my own little quarks and I believe in different things than most others. But most the time I don't feel like there's enough of me to share with anyone else. It sounds depressing, maybe it is. It's the little things, like a kiss on ( Read more... )

I'm writing in my journal to amuse myself. The fact that I so anxiously collect my thoughts and splatter them across the screen makes me ill. My stomache turns thinking that I actually care to take the time to reflect on my life. I feel sick.

And now that I think of it, I am that pathetic so here are my thoughts:

I am not amused
but I am ( Read more... )

It's friday night and the rain is relentless. The wind plays its part and makes the rain dance in the sky. This is the last night before I leave on my cruise, which is supposed to be a storm filled vacation as well. Nonetheless it should be a nice get away and a great way to start a few new years resolutions i've been slacking to get around to.

( Read more... )

The distance between me and my formal self is grand canyon in scale. I find myself often times staring into the mirror wondering who the fuck the person staring back at me is. I have found that in my journeys chaos is in my wake and sleep is non-existent because insomnia rules my life. Insomnia seems like an endless pattern of relentless ( Read more... )