I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive.

I'm in the final stages of my transformation.

You wouldn't even recognize me anymore.

I'm so content with being a stranger to everyone and myself.

To all the ones that hated me the most.

I can't even remember your face.

To all the ones who thought they knew me best.

You haven't even scratched the surface.

( Read more... )

 i'm a porcelain bitch in a room full of black violins...

http://www.blackviolin.net

numbness is god's gift to people who suffer from severe sanity. 
or maybe its these pills that got my head all twisted in the right direction. 
either way, i'm loving life.
i cut people off.
i block people out.
i shut people down.
i'm a bitch, a vamp, and a sinner
and goddamn, i'll never change. 
cause not feeling anything is the best feeling i've ever had ( Read more... )

i keep having this dream.

I wake up in a bed that isn't mine, in a house that is unfamiliar to me.
Dirty silk sheets are suffocation blue.
I make tea in my underwear. Wearing skin that doesn't belong to me. 
Framed pictures on the walls of people I don't recognize. 
At bonfires and banquets I never attended. 
Smiling eyes that imply secrets I've never ( Read more... )

i escaped the horizon
feeling nothing was the easiest existence
leaving a world of regret in a wake of flames
no flame ever burned as bright
i will not leave a martyr
no more eyes to frame my falls
i can't live life for closed hearts
joy left me that day
pulled from my hands as they robbed me of life
i am leaving earth
burning the past as i turn ( Read more... )

I found my running shoes today
social darwinism
run or be left behind

Starting over. Beginning again.

 Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that would make it okay
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

 only a few more days until the world comes to an end.

are you ready?

I saw sarah in the mall. what a gross ass bitch. i thought she was pregnant but then when i walked past her i realized that she was just fat...and a whore. so i wrote a hiku about it:

fat whore in the mall
children think she's santa clause
karma is a bitch

hope you like it, motherfuckers.

In the Bible only angels have wings
and the rest must wait to be saved.
where are my angels?
where's my golden wand?
and where is my hope now that my heroes have gone?

someone tell the rainclouds that enough is enough.
i used to love the rain.
it used to bring peace and well-being. it used to wash away all uncertainty.
now it only brings confusion. i ( Read more... )