Red Badge of Courage - Fish Hook Edition

[chapter_stork]

Just a few hours ago my husband and I dropped off our 18 year old son - his biological son, my stepson, if you want to get technical-at an unremarkable Marriott Hotel that marks the beginning of his service in the US Army. It was neither the beginning nor the end of the emotional journey we are travelling as parents, but it is certainly a major

Comments

[georgiaclaire]

Oh, man.

I can't even begin to imagine what it would be like to raise kids, be there all that time, and then one day see them step out that door and know that they were never coming back, at least not the same way.

I think it's been a bit easier for my parents... none of us left home straight out of high school, we all attended uni nearby, my mum at least works at the same uni we attend, so we see her sometimes without it needing to be planned. But jesus, having your kid leave home like that. It makes me scared to have kids.

But I guess in a way that's what you're aiming for the whole time, isn't it? For them to be that adult who no longer needs you.

[chapter_stork]

You're right, you have children and you love them so much but ultimately your goal is for them to grow to be self sufficient, independent adults. My personal wish for all my kids was for them to graduate high school and go on to a great college or University. But that's my dream, not theirs, and in the end you have to be supportive and even happy that they have chosen something positive.

Thanks for your comments! It's great to hear a perspective from someone who is experiencing it from the other end.

[badboy_fangirl]

Maybe for once, I have less words than one would expect of me. Just know that you're all in my thoughts and prayers, for lots of reasons. *wipes tears*

[chapter_stork]

Awww, thank you Candy. It's good, it really is, just in a really sad way right now.

Anyway they didn't take Alex's cell phone away until last night, so we heard that he made it to Georgia all right--survived his first ever plane flight!--and they confiscated his antibiotics so his fish-hooked leg is swollen up and hurting.

For everything else, one day at a time!

[rosie_spleen]

This is so moving. Thanks for writing it. The ray of sunshine fishing story is a great focus, for sure, and almost like a parody (for want of a better word, Viva, I mean no flippancy) set against the actual meaning of the day. A really nice way for your hub and Alex to spend the time and a story they will share forever.

It's nice to hear it second hand, especially this:

The rain had started up again. I took a picture of Alex and his dad, arms entwined. Later I would explain to people that some of the rain had fallen on his dad’s face.

because, well, we always mark these sort of occasions with a photo. Sometimes this snapshot of time is the single memory we might have of an emotional event later.

Again, thanks for writing this. It has a beautiful family theme and casts a whole 'nother light on a parent's role/lot/journey!

[chapter_stork]

Thanks Rosie. Thanks especially for appreciating the lightness of the fishing fiasco--I actually meant this to be kind of funny...? but instead sent everyone for the box of kleenex. You know what they call that, when your efforts have the opposite affect from what you intended? Irony. That's right!

Seriously, though, for me sitting down and writing this all down felt good. I'm glad you were able to get something out of it as well.

[burntcircles]

Thanks so much for writing this, Viva. It is beautiful in all its honesty.

I can't help thinking how idealistic your boy must be, to stand up and do something and make a difference in this way. I know that he is his own person and makes his own choices but I would also like to think that this decision is a reflection of the kind of upbringing he's had.

And you do have a wonderfully sincere way with words, Viva. I do hope you write often. You are clear and very descriptive and then out of nowhere you throw in something funny, it brings a smile to my face. Your writing makes me happy that I'm not blind and am able to read.

[chapter_stork]

Oh, Nona, thank you for this comment. First, you always have such a kind word to say about my writing, and I appreciate it more than you know. I love hearing "clear and descriptive" when I am thinking "bland and pedantic". I do want to keep writing because I have this notion that I will improve with practice, and encouragement like this is wonderful. Thanks again.

There were many circumstances leading up to Alex enlisting, and idealism was certainly a part of it. He made a choice for himself, a very bold one, and he is following through with it. It's not what I would have chose for him, but I am optimistic and I believe he has been given the support and the tools that he needs to be great at what he does. Plus he's 18 years old and he has plenty of time to stop and restart if need be!

[sunnydust]

Oh Viva this is very moving indeed (as other people pointed it out). I love your tale of Alex and his dad last day together.

I have no related story to share, but thank you for sharing it.

[chapter_stork]

Hi Pauline.

You don't need to have a related story! Just knowing you read this and took the time to comment means a lot. Thanks so much. *hugs*