i admit i have been missing alvie, especially since he hasn't called for 2 nights already. i don't want to be with him though, as in be with him be with him because i don't trust him. but his company i sorely miss. i've been so used to hanging around with him and i've grown so comfortable. tempting as it is, i must learn to distance myself from him ( Read more... )

today i hung out with my dad, one of those very rare happenings. it started with him wanting to have breakfast in chicken inato in, i actually forgot the name already. i'm so used to commonwealth and the name of that place starts with c too. anyways, it was 11 am and the restaurant opens at 12, so we mucked around the house for a while. me ( Read more... )

i feel like shitting ( Read more... )

i was sitting in front of a mirror on my mom's dresser. looking at my face, i realised to my horror that my face used to be mayonnaise, smooth and creamy. now it's mayonnaise with red chilli flakes. and what's even more horrible was that if my face does become like the faces of every ill fated pimply oily red faces i am proud to not have, i will ( Read more... )

i'm still waiting for yahoo messager to download. from my dirty red swivel chair, i could hear the third badly acted witless telenovela in the series of telenovelas my dad's been watching downstairs. my ears watched the two previous badly acted ones. right now my philosophy blockmate, also was our block head for a year, is im-ing me. it took a ( Read more... )

life can be really black. some people would say you'll find a way out of it if you work hard to overcome it. some would say your life was destined to be black. some would just end the blackness. some would wallow in the blackness. some would shut their eyes. it's hard to escape one's self. to have lived in blackness will inevitably do something to ( Read more... )

the sun led my eyes to the mousebird chirping on my neighbour's ledge. nice mousebird. then i thought, why do we hold winged mice precious, and loathe unwinged ones? how did it come to be that angels fly around stars and demons sink in fire? what is it about flying ( Read more... )

stable ( Read more... )

having my friends is a great relief, considering what happened this week. vehm was right. i'll learn to appreciate my friends more :) thank you guys :)

i'd rather just forget.

i have forgotten many things.

maybe the only way is if he can prove that he does want to be with me. maybe not.

he said he's done things becuase of me, things he didn't want to do. that hurts, to know that.

he isn't sure. and that uncertainty scares me.