this hurts so badly. being drunk during the day and sleeping at night no longer works. my recluse is gone, I finally have to face this, and I'm alone, of course I'm alone.
fuck, I'm so sick of the way I handle things. I generally regret everything I do or don't do. I wish i could just walk into or away from something without second guessing. I wish i could maybe not be so hyper-critical about fucking everything, and that i could just learn to tolerate some people. I don't see any of this stopping anytime soon.