Got my fucking government exam today. Guess what? I fucking failed it. Fucking test anxiety. I feel so stupid. OH and I feel like I'm getting sick. Yay.

Sorry I haven't updated in a while....I've just been pretty busy. So I saw Spiderman 2 on Friday with Chelsea, Karrie, and Lance. That was cool. Then Lance and I went to Chelsea's house on Saturday and they played video games on the PS2- I did play a little Twisted Metal: Black, which is a fucking awesome game by the way, haha. Hmmm....Sunday we ( Read more... )

So I went up to Paso today to visit Lance. It was wonderful. We were acting how we used to, when things weren't so....weird. We talked about it, and like I said, he picked up on my feelings as being scared. And that's true. We didn't do a whole lot today- other than going to Wendy's for lunch, then Wal*Mart and Target, then James' house. After that ( Read more... )

So I talked to Lance for like an hour after I had called him at 9:30. We talked until 11:03. I just couldn't wait until Friday to tell him how I've been feeling recently. So I had to tell him. I told him how I felt and basically it boils down to how I'm scared. Scared of change, scared of commitment, scared of moving on to becoming a true ( Read more... )

Bleh, I'm so emo. I have been really emo since Thurs. but I have been feeling this way for quite some time. I think I just tried to hide it and tried to make myself happy- but in the process I'm hurting myself and him. I hate the way I can't really express my feelings to him. I always feel as though I'll hurt him and I can't talk without crying. ( Read more... )

I swear, I've been crying since Thursday.

Have you ever felt so confused you didn't know what to do? I don't know why I question so much...but it almost seems as though something isn't right. But maybe I am being too paranoid. I just wish there was some kinda sign or something...

ugh, guys are so lame sometimes. this summer has been so hard for me so far. I found out the school I wanted to go to is the second story of a building....and they'd make me transfer to the one in LA...and I still don't have a job. But Karrie and I are going to get more applications today, and hopefully we could work together 'cause that would be ( Read more... )

So I've been feeling rather self-concious lately. And it really helped when I talked to Lance about it. I've just been in an awkward state lately; like every girl in America, seeing skinny tight-abbed sexy girls in movies just makes me feel like a cow. Lance said that "guys think they're hot...but that's not what they really want in a girl." He ( Read more... )

Hey hey...haven't updated in a while. I'm watching the Newlyweds marathon on MTV...getting ready to watch the start of the new season tonight!!! I'm so excited! haha. Hmm.... Government sucks ass. There's so much I have to read. Blah. There's a ton to say about the cruise and stuff...but I'll write about it later. I have to finish my homework. ( Read more... )