Fic: It Was Only A Kiss! 2/24
Title: It Was Only A Kiss!
Author: remuslives23
Summary: It was all James Potter's fault. If he hadn't have nicked that bottle of Firewhiskey, none of this would have happened.
Rating: NC-17
Author Notes: Thanks for your feedback on the first chappie. Hope you enjoy the second. First chappie is here if you missed it. Cheers!
Chapter Two
By morning they’d both decided it was an aberration, an abnormality bought on by a combination of extreme randiness, conversation with inappropriate sexual content and a bad, bad, bad batch of Firewhiskey. This opinion was reached as their paths crossed on the way to the bathroom - Remus having just emptied his stomach, Sirius’ gut still debating its options.
‘Hey, Pads.’
‘Hey.’
‘Sick?’
‘I feel like I spent the night trying to squeeze my head up Snivellus’ arse.’
Remus snorted with laughter then grabbed his head between his hands with a moan. ‘God, don’t make me laugh…I’ll puke again or my head will implode.’
Sirius’ stomach gave a lurch and he took another step closer to the toilet, making sure before he opened his mouth that only words would come out.
‘Hey, listen, Remus…last night…’
‘God, that was…’
‘Yeah.’
Pause.
‘Moony, you know it was just…
‘Course. I’m…you know…I like girls and that and…’
‘Yeah, me too. We were so…’
‘…pissed. Forget it, Pads.’
‘Remus…’
‘Forget it.’
‘Oh, right…yeah, good. I just…we’re alright, yeah?’
‘Mmm…oh shit…’
Remus staggered back to the bathroom and at the sound of his retching, Sirius’ stomach made a decision as well, Peter screaming, ‘For Merlin’s sake, Padfoot… Shit! Now it’s all over my toothbrush…!’ as the brunette expelled the remainder of his stomach contents and dignity into the sink.
Despite Remus’ insistence that they should just ‘forget’ that kiss, Sirius found himself taking more direct action to prove to himself that the lip lock with his friend (or rather, his enthusiasm for said lip lock and his subsequent physical reaction) had really been just the booze talking. He cornered Kelly Wright after breakfast - easily the easiest girl in the school - and arranged to meet her in a particularly private cupboard later that night, experiencing an urgent need to confirm his heterosexuality status with some no strings shagging.
Feeling a little better, he made his way to Charms only to be deflated almost instantly by James’ asking, ‘So, what did you two get up to last night after Pete and I passed out?’
Such an innocent question should not have inspired such fear in the heart of valiant Gryffindors but the frightened look Remus and Sirius shared before they answered betrayed their house’s reputation of being the place where the brave at heart dwell.
‘Nothing.’
‘Fell asleep.’
‘Then woke up and went to bed.’
‘Our own beds.’
‘Pads, what the…?’
‘Sorry.’
Peter and James looked at them in obvious confusion as the words tripped out of the other boys' mouths.
‘We must have really knocked off a hell of a lot of brain cells last night, Prongs,’ Peter said with a frown. ‘Because that didn’t make a bit of sense - even for them.’
‘Mmm.’ James looked from one boy to another. ‘Maybe we’re still too drunk to get it.’
They sat in their usual places for Muggle Studies, the awkwardness between Remus and Sirius diluted now there was some distance and two whiskey scented bodies between them. Neither paid attention to Professor Gable’s lecture on Muggle underwater apparatus. Remus took vague notes for a few minutes, illegible for the most part, then fell into something resembling a catatonic state, staring out the window vacantly and not noticing Peter sketching a caricature of two people coupling on his parchment. Sirius had no memory of the class whatsoever, having fallen asleep after the teacher said, ‘Good morning.‘
They were both jolted out of their stupor by the ringing of the bell and yawned widely as they stood and collected their belongings.
James chuckled. ‘What time did you two come up to bed?’
Sirius looked startled then shrugged. ‘Don’t know. I came up before Remus.’
‘You stayed up, Moony?’ Peter asked in surprise and the werewolf shrugged.
‘Full moon soon. I guess I was just restless. Excuse me, I need to…talk to Frank.’
Sirius frowned as he watched the slim built boy speed up his gait to catch up with Frank Longbottom who was further down the corridor.
‘Is he alright?’ James asked, concern in his hazel eyes as he looked at Sirius.
The brunette shrugged, annoyed that he was supposed to know what the other boy was thinking. ‘How would I know? Come on, I’m hungry.’
Despite his assertion that he could eat a Hippogriff, Sirius could barely manage more than a few bites. He was feeling Remus’ presence across the table as he never had before and hated that one stupid, drunken, meaningless kiss had made things between he and his friend awkward. He was estranged from his family - he didn’t live with them anymore, couldn’t stand the bitter taste talking about them left in his mouth - so the Marauders were his support. That kiss had threatened his family, and his relationship with the person who perhaps meant the most to him.
Peter was a laugh, but if he were honest, Sirius wouldn’t really mourn his absence if he decided to bugger off. They weren’t particularly close - got along well enough to sneak off to Hogsmeade together to pinch sweets and Firewhiskey when Sirius couldn’t convince one of the others to come - but they were rarely together without James or Remus.
James was his brother, by choice even if not by blood. They shared a bond that he didn’t with Peter or Remus. They knew each other inside out - not a massive undertaking as they were so very similar - and accepted each other warts and all.
But Remus…
Remus got him. He saw deeper inside him than James could or Peter wanted to. He saw the darkness that gave Sirius nightmares, the fear that sometimes paralysed him with its force, and he reassured Sirius that he was not his parents; that he was not the darkness.
Remus was the only person that could bring him down from a rage, who could talk him out of particularly stupid pranks, who could make him laugh with just a crook of his eyebrow.
Remus just got him - maybe that’s why he’d wanted to kiss him.
His body jolted with the realisation and his fork fell to his plate with a clatter.
I didn’t want to kiss him. It was spontaneous. It was a drunken mistake. Wasn’t it?
‘You alright, Pads?’
James was frowning curiously across the table at him and next to him, Remus was staring quizzically, his blue eyes probing and capable of seeing far too much for Sirius' comfort.
‘Padfoot?’ James repeated, and Sirius shook himself out of his trance and stood up abruptly, knocking Peter’s arm and spilling the boy’s drink all over his lap.
‘Yeah, yeah. Fine. I, er, just remembered I’ve got a, um, thing to do. See you later.’
He almost ran from the Dining Hall and Remus and James looked at each other.
‘What’s wrong with him today?’ James queried, but Remus just shook his head and handed his napkin to a grumbling Peter before turning back to poke at his lunch.
If Sirius keep acting like this, they’re going to figure it out.
It was just a kiss, for Merlin’s sake. How did that Muggle song go? ‘A kiss is just a kiss?’ He hummed the tune unconsciously and Lily looked over.
‘I didn’t know you’d seen ‘Casablanca’, Remus,’ she said and he flushed when he realised what he’d done.
‘Just…trying to remember the words,’ he muttered.
She smiled and sang softly, ‘A kiss is still a kiss.’
‘What?’ he said, startled. ‘I thought it was ‘a kiss is just a kiss’?’
‘Nope,’ she disagreed. ‘A kiss is still a kiss’.’ She grinned and nudged his arm. ‘Who are you thinking of kissing, Remus Lupin?’
‘Er, no one,’ he mumbled then put his fork down. ‘I…forgot a book in the dorm for Potions. I'll see you later, guys.’
He escaped, thinking as he walked back up to Gryffindor Tower. He loved all his friends - how could he not? They had accepted him and his ‘furry little problem’ with little more than a smile and an enquiry about the size of a werewolf’s penis.
They’d covered for him when others questioned his frequent absences, bought him chocolate and kept him entertained in the hospital wing and, in the greatest show of loyalty and friendship, had broken the law by becoming Animagi so he wouldn’t have to be alone during his transformations anymore.
Remus smiled - that had been Sirius’ idea.
Any excuse to take part in a little bit of rule breaking.
But he knew that hadn’t been the brunette’s motivation. Sirius needed to do something to help him; he hated feeling helpless or ineffectual. He’d been the first to fully transform and Remus couldn’t believe it when he saw the large black dog in front of him. It was perfect - Sirius couldn’t have chosen a better animal form. The fact that the decision was completely out of his control made it more startling - fate seemed to know exactly what he needed when it gave Moony a fellow canine to play with.
Prongs was big and great for controlling the moody werewolf during the first couple of hours of the change when he was still adjusting to the changes in his body and the pain was subsiding. Peter was needed for the others to get to him, pushing the knot on the Willow and keeping Prongs company when Moony decided he wanted to play - for as much as the werewolf loved the stag and rat as his pack, the best playmate was Padfoot and the others tended to get left out sometimes.
Padfoot and Moony could rough and tumble together, they ‘hunted’ together, frightening the life out of woodland creatures, and Padfoot comforted the wolf when the dawn approached and the ache of transformation began again. The two canines had a natural affinity and as their animals connected, the humans also instinctively became closer.
The Marauders were all close in different ways. James and Sirius were so similar it was difficult to believe they didn’t share blood; Peter and James had a strange friendship based on Pete’s admiration for the other boy and James’ need for said admiration but it worked for them. Sirius had little patience for Peter’s simpering but put up with it for the boy’s irregular moments of brilliance, and Sirius seemed to intimidate Peter a little - the blonde never completely comfortable around him without Remus or James as a buffer.
But Remus…they treated him slightly differently which sometimes made him feel a bit smothered but the knowledge of how much they cared for him overwhelmed any irritation about their occasional over-protectiveness.
James acted all big brotherly before and after the moon, tutting over Remus’ still full plates and pushing chocolate on him to try and make up for his lack of appetite; Peter ran errands for him, fetching books from the library, food to try and tempt him from the kitchens, and quietly played chess with him when Remus couldn’t the handle loud and raucous brunettes anymore.
But Sirius…
Sirius soothed him. He was the one who stayed the longest after Remus changed back, he was the one who patted his hand reassuringly when he told him how badly he’d torn himself up. He was the one who stayed with him at night after he dreamed of snapping jaws and claws and so much blood he didn’t know how he survived, and he was the one who reassured Remus that he wasn’t a monster.
Sirius was the one person he showed himself to - his whole self - and the thought that one drunken kiss could take his friend, his strength, away scared him to death.
‘It was just a stupid, bloody kiss,’ he mumbled to himself as he reached the portrait hole.
But a kiss is still a kiss.
And he’d enjoyed that kiss far too much.
TBC...
Chapter Three
Author: remuslives23
Summary: It was all James Potter's fault. If he hadn't have nicked that bottle of Firewhiskey, none of this would have happened.
Rating: NC-17
Author Notes: Thanks for your feedback on the first chappie. Hope you enjoy the second. First chappie is here if you missed it. Cheers!
Chapter Two
By morning they’d both decided it was an aberration, an abnormality bought on by a combination of extreme randiness, conversation with inappropriate sexual content and a bad, bad, bad batch of Firewhiskey. This opinion was reached as their paths crossed on the way to the bathroom - Remus having just emptied his stomach, Sirius’ gut still debating its options.
‘Hey, Pads.’
‘Hey.’
‘Sick?’
‘I feel like I spent the night trying to squeeze my head up Snivellus’ arse.’
Remus snorted with laughter then grabbed his head between his hands with a moan. ‘God, don’t make me laugh…I’ll puke again or my head will implode.’
Sirius’ stomach gave a lurch and he took another step closer to the toilet, making sure before he opened his mouth that only words would come out.
‘Hey, listen, Remus…last night…’
‘God, that was…’
‘Yeah.’
Pause.
‘Moony, you know it was just…
‘Course. I’m…you know…I like girls and that and…’
‘Yeah, me too. We were so…’
‘…pissed. Forget it, Pads.’
‘Remus…’
‘Forget it.’
‘Oh, right…yeah, good. I just…we’re alright, yeah?’
‘Mmm…oh shit…’
Remus staggered back to the bathroom and at the sound of his retching, Sirius’ stomach made a decision as well, Peter screaming, ‘For Merlin’s sake, Padfoot… Shit! Now it’s all over my toothbrush…!’ as the brunette expelled the remainder of his stomach contents and dignity into the sink.
Despite Remus’ insistence that they should just ‘forget’ that kiss, Sirius found himself taking more direct action to prove to himself that the lip lock with his friend (or rather, his enthusiasm for said lip lock and his subsequent physical reaction) had really been just the booze talking. He cornered Kelly Wright after breakfast - easily the easiest girl in the school - and arranged to meet her in a particularly private cupboard later that night, experiencing an urgent need to confirm his heterosexuality status with some no strings shagging.
Feeling a little better, he made his way to Charms only to be deflated almost instantly by James’ asking, ‘So, what did you two get up to last night after Pete and I passed out?’
Such an innocent question should not have inspired such fear in the heart of valiant Gryffindors but the frightened look Remus and Sirius shared before they answered betrayed their house’s reputation of being the place where the brave at heart dwell.
‘Nothing.’
‘Fell asleep.’
‘Then woke up and went to bed.’
‘Our own beds.’
‘Pads, what the…?’
‘Sorry.’
Peter and James looked at them in obvious confusion as the words tripped out of the other boys' mouths.
‘We must have really knocked off a hell of a lot of brain cells last night, Prongs,’ Peter said with a frown. ‘Because that didn’t make a bit of sense - even for them.’
‘Mmm.’ James looked from one boy to another. ‘Maybe we’re still too drunk to get it.’
They sat in their usual places for Muggle Studies, the awkwardness between Remus and Sirius diluted now there was some distance and two whiskey scented bodies between them. Neither paid attention to Professor Gable’s lecture on Muggle underwater apparatus. Remus took vague notes for a few minutes, illegible for the most part, then fell into something resembling a catatonic state, staring out the window vacantly and not noticing Peter sketching a caricature of two people coupling on his parchment. Sirius had no memory of the class whatsoever, having fallen asleep after the teacher said, ‘Good morning.‘
They were both jolted out of their stupor by the ringing of the bell and yawned widely as they stood and collected their belongings.
James chuckled. ‘What time did you two come up to bed?’
Sirius looked startled then shrugged. ‘Don’t know. I came up before Remus.’
‘You stayed up, Moony?’ Peter asked in surprise and the werewolf shrugged.
‘Full moon soon. I guess I was just restless. Excuse me, I need to…talk to Frank.’
Sirius frowned as he watched the slim built boy speed up his gait to catch up with Frank Longbottom who was further down the corridor.
‘Is he alright?’ James asked, concern in his hazel eyes as he looked at Sirius.
The brunette shrugged, annoyed that he was supposed to know what the other boy was thinking. ‘How would I know? Come on, I’m hungry.’
Despite his assertion that he could eat a Hippogriff, Sirius could barely manage more than a few bites. He was feeling Remus’ presence across the table as he never had before and hated that one stupid, drunken, meaningless kiss had made things between he and his friend awkward. He was estranged from his family - he didn’t live with them anymore, couldn’t stand the bitter taste talking about them left in his mouth - so the Marauders were his support. That kiss had threatened his family, and his relationship with the person who perhaps meant the most to him.
Peter was a laugh, but if he were honest, Sirius wouldn’t really mourn his absence if he decided to bugger off. They weren’t particularly close - got along well enough to sneak off to Hogsmeade together to pinch sweets and Firewhiskey when Sirius couldn’t convince one of the others to come - but they were rarely together without James or Remus.
James was his brother, by choice even if not by blood. They shared a bond that he didn’t with Peter or Remus. They knew each other inside out - not a massive undertaking as they were so very similar - and accepted each other warts and all.
But Remus…
Remus got him. He saw deeper inside him than James could or Peter wanted to. He saw the darkness that gave Sirius nightmares, the fear that sometimes paralysed him with its force, and he reassured Sirius that he was not his parents; that he was not the darkness.
Remus was the only person that could bring him down from a rage, who could talk him out of particularly stupid pranks, who could make him laugh with just a crook of his eyebrow.
Remus just got him - maybe that’s why he’d wanted to kiss him.
His body jolted with the realisation and his fork fell to his plate with a clatter.
I didn’t want to kiss him. It was spontaneous. It was a drunken mistake. Wasn’t it?
‘You alright, Pads?’
James was frowning curiously across the table at him and next to him, Remus was staring quizzically, his blue eyes probing and capable of seeing far too much for Sirius' comfort.
‘Padfoot?’ James repeated, and Sirius shook himself out of his trance and stood up abruptly, knocking Peter’s arm and spilling the boy’s drink all over his lap.
‘Yeah, yeah. Fine. I, er, just remembered I’ve got a, um, thing to do. See you later.’
He almost ran from the Dining Hall and Remus and James looked at each other.
‘What’s wrong with him today?’ James queried, but Remus just shook his head and handed his napkin to a grumbling Peter before turning back to poke at his lunch.
If Sirius keep acting like this, they’re going to figure it out.
It was just a kiss, for Merlin’s sake. How did that Muggle song go? ‘A kiss is just a kiss?’ He hummed the tune unconsciously and Lily looked over.
‘I didn’t know you’d seen ‘Casablanca’, Remus,’ she said and he flushed when he realised what he’d done.
‘Just…trying to remember the words,’ he muttered.
She smiled and sang softly, ‘A kiss is still a kiss.’
‘What?’ he said, startled. ‘I thought it was ‘a kiss is just a kiss’?’
‘Nope,’ she disagreed. ‘A kiss is still a kiss’.’ She grinned and nudged his arm. ‘Who are you thinking of kissing, Remus Lupin?’
‘Er, no one,’ he mumbled then put his fork down. ‘I…forgot a book in the dorm for Potions. I'll see you later, guys.’
He escaped, thinking as he walked back up to Gryffindor Tower. He loved all his friends - how could he not? They had accepted him and his ‘furry little problem’ with little more than a smile and an enquiry about the size of a werewolf’s penis.
They’d covered for him when others questioned his frequent absences, bought him chocolate and kept him entertained in the hospital wing and, in the greatest show of loyalty and friendship, had broken the law by becoming Animagi so he wouldn’t have to be alone during his transformations anymore.
Remus smiled - that had been Sirius’ idea.
Any excuse to take part in a little bit of rule breaking.
But he knew that hadn’t been the brunette’s motivation. Sirius needed to do something to help him; he hated feeling helpless or ineffectual. He’d been the first to fully transform and Remus couldn’t believe it when he saw the large black dog in front of him. It was perfect - Sirius couldn’t have chosen a better animal form. The fact that the decision was completely out of his control made it more startling - fate seemed to know exactly what he needed when it gave Moony a fellow canine to play with.
Prongs was big and great for controlling the moody werewolf during the first couple of hours of the change when he was still adjusting to the changes in his body and the pain was subsiding. Peter was needed for the others to get to him, pushing the knot on the Willow and keeping Prongs company when Moony decided he wanted to play - for as much as the werewolf loved the stag and rat as his pack, the best playmate was Padfoot and the others tended to get left out sometimes.
Padfoot and Moony could rough and tumble together, they ‘hunted’ together, frightening the life out of woodland creatures, and Padfoot comforted the wolf when the dawn approached and the ache of transformation began again. The two canines had a natural affinity and as their animals connected, the humans also instinctively became closer.
The Marauders were all close in different ways. James and Sirius were so similar it was difficult to believe they didn’t share blood; Peter and James had a strange friendship based on Pete’s admiration for the other boy and James’ need for said admiration but it worked for them. Sirius had little patience for Peter’s simpering but put up with it for the boy’s irregular moments of brilliance, and Sirius seemed to intimidate Peter a little - the blonde never completely comfortable around him without Remus or James as a buffer.
But Remus…they treated him slightly differently which sometimes made him feel a bit smothered but the knowledge of how much they cared for him overwhelmed any irritation about their occasional over-protectiveness.
James acted all big brotherly before and after the moon, tutting over Remus’ still full plates and pushing chocolate on him to try and make up for his lack of appetite; Peter ran errands for him, fetching books from the library, food to try and tempt him from the kitchens, and quietly played chess with him when Remus couldn’t the handle loud and raucous brunettes anymore.
But Sirius…
Sirius soothed him. He was the one who stayed the longest after Remus changed back, he was the one who patted his hand reassuringly when he told him how badly he’d torn himself up. He was the one who stayed with him at night after he dreamed of snapping jaws and claws and so much blood he didn’t know how he survived, and he was the one who reassured Remus that he wasn’t a monster.
Sirius was the one person he showed himself to - his whole self - and the thought that one drunken kiss could take his friend, his strength, away scared him to death.
‘It was just a stupid, bloody kiss,’ he mumbled to himself as he reached the portrait hole.
But a kiss is still a kiss.
And he’d enjoyed that kiss far too much.
TBC...
Chapter Three