Day One ( Read more... )

1. There has been speculation and rumor mongering amongst the populace. Let me assure you: whilst it is unfortunately true that Mr David Copperfield can render the Statue Of Liberty momentarily invisible to the naked eye, he has received proper warning from the Aviation Authority that these 'disappearances' are not to be allowed to become ( Read more... )

"This is what existence is. A perpetual emptiness, with a few good jokes thrown in the mix."

From the comical article:

Kafka At Camp: The Lost Diaries at the McSweeney's website.
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/5/27barnosky.html

What must it be like to be an NFL kicker? You're necessary, of course, for you must start or restart the game. The entire game is contingent upon your boot. Without that initial kick, no game. Though of course, anyone with a pair of legs and a linked spinal column & brain can kick a football. No shit. Even I can do it (fun fact, honesty fans ( Read more... )

Poor mouse ( Read more... )

I like satire, it interests me ( Read more... )

Spray On Seasoning

How often have you poured the vinegar, shaken the salt, or passed the pepper-mill across your chips? Invariably, you tip on too little seasoning, through virtue of care and delicacy. So you're required to make a second pass. And now you've over done it, you cack handed fool. The flavour of your chips has now been drowned, ( Read more... )

#1 The first 41 second of the Pixies Something Against YouOf course it's perfectly okay to love the entire song. Indeed, it's pretty much necessary to love the entire record (Surfer Rosa / Come On Pilgrim). But that 41 seconds, the start of track three, are just craziness, even by the crazy standards of a crazy record. It begins with an ( Read more... )

So, yes, I'm a jobless leisure-fiend. I am trying. I just can't lie enough to enthuse over a career in bargain home supplies or Pizza Hut management. I'm like, so, wow, unorthodox and existentially authentic. What are my career goals? Um, shoot an Arab on a beach and then get condemned to death for not crying at my own Mother's funeral ( Read more... )

Automobologists Discover World's Oldest CarAutomobologists digging in the Southern region of Inner Mongolia today announced their most recent discovery: the remains of a seventy-five million year old car ( Read more... )