well... nothing really new. no job... no friends... no love... no self respect... no ambition... no motivation... no hope ( Read more... )

Tonight... I was at this chill spot up in Granada Hills with J Man... and we were about to spark a bowl... but I couldn't for the life of me find a lighter in my purse... so I said something off hand like, "where are you now Jim?" and we were actually joking about Jim Morrison coming through with a lighter for us... when I check my pocket... and ( Read more... )

So I was right... they came... they left. and nothing's any better than before. they can get fucked. worse? yes. always room for one more letdown. words leave such a bad taste in my mouth. with all that i've said to you... it's leaving me nauseous. i'm done. completely through with them all. i'll keep your insult close to my heart, as a constant ( Read more... )

So... last night was interesting. Saw some familiar faces...

Elena said something to me this morning that put me in shock... because honestly... I didn't think she thought so lowly of me. What a fucking shitty way to start my day... I mean fuck... what can I do with that? I can't very well ignore its happening. Lots happening these days.

My distractions are becomming more pathetic attempts by the day. In fact, I think they've become reminders. It's as if the sun is following my eyes, and everywhere I look, it is undeniable... even when my eyes are drawn. I heard "But Not Tonight" by DM last night on the radio. And I went to a "party" next door to Luis'.... sat on an Arabian curb ( Read more... )

what a very pleasant ride home. more than pleasant. that song came on the radio just before I hit the 118 E.
"I am thinking its a sign that the frekles in our eyes are mirror images and when we kiss they're perfectly alligned."

so many many outrageous thoughts have been through my mind lately.

I've got to admit it's getting better ( Read more... )

Dani and Carl are getting married... Michelle and Josh are moving in together... and i can't say that I don't think it will all work out like a fairy tale.

I dreamt a dream tonight

and so did I

what was yours?

that dreamers often lie!

...in bed asleep while they do dream things true!

ahhh... then I see Queen Mabb hath been with you!

the dream was vivid. at the risk of forgetting it all... i will write about this later... when not before an audience.

everything has been such a mess... i haven't even wanted to write about it lately. nothing seems to be coming together. my life is a series of loose ends. my will to live is gravely low. my only passion is found in hopes and memories ( Read more... )