[Fic] Dare you to move : three

[rennie_88]

Title: Dare you to Move
Pairing: Jaemin
Length: Chapter 3/10
Genre: high school AU,angst,drama
Warnings: bullying. bullying
(Plz don't hate/bash me, there has to be excessive bullying for there to be a bodyguard. :P)

Story request by rikuma, i hope you like it! <3
Summary : Changmin is the loser who everyone bullies at school. He's also the only son of

Comments

[ext_1752821]

Are you sure Yoochun is a body guard? Because he sounds more like a driver to me instead of a body guard. He never did anything other than driving Changmin off and back from school like a driver does. Anyway, please don't drag the story of Changmin's bullying too long. It's three chapters potraying the bullying, it became a bit boring (I'm sorry). I know you're trying to make us understand Changmin's struggle, but after one chap I already catched the pattern. I'm sorry if I'm too straight forward. It's just I'm trying to give some input because you are a good writer.

[rennie_88]

hello~^^
hehe u are so right.. chun totally got turned into a driver instead of a bodyguard :( o well i guess its just cuz i didnt get any inspiration for other yoochun scenes :S !!
you're also right about the bullying pattern. i know it too and my downfall is that im usually a very repetitive redundant writer and its driving me crazy cuz it wasn't supposed to be that long but thats just how it turned out TT hahahaha~ i'm sorry that its boring too but maybe i can edit it later to make it better ^^
thank u for taking the time to leave ur thoughts and give me ur input, i really appreciate it :D