I woke up with some southern hick's soul flowing through my veins. He picked up my harmonica, monica, and went off like an old (how do I say) American African. All I want to do now is park my fat ass on a porch and smoke my pipe...slowly. Tap my foot, rock my chair, with the occasional hoot and holler. Though I got no porch worth my crying. ( Read more... )

I possess this chunk of beard I bought at Longs Drug Store on Halloween nine years ago. It doubles as a toupee and/or hairy chest. We've been through a lot. Even with my existent hand-grown beard I still wear it. Maybe so it won't feel left out or maybe cause it's more of a beard than I'll ever have ( Read more... )

No joke...it's ASS MACHINE TEAPOT, yo. I love ass.

Recently all I've been doing is falling in love. Everytime I see her I love her a little more. When we hold eachother the world around us fades away as I drown in her sweetness. She thinks I'm gay.

so it begins