Looking For A Fuck

[retarded_oscar]

Since I don't really care for books or reading, I've been under the false assumption that Barnes & Noble and Borders were essentially the same thing.

Around Christmas I stumbled across Fuck This Book and was literally in tears in the bookstore. I almost bought it, but not two hours before I had had a conversation with someone about how I have

Comments

[retarded_oscar]

Try both in one. I'm not sure if this is true of all Barnes & Nobles, but at the one I worked at (for ten days, let me just mention that again...) you could rotate back and forth between working the bookstore and the Starbucks. I never graduated to that level of privilege because once again, ten days.

The point is, the snotty bastard who helps you find your book might be the snotty bastard who spat in your caramel latte yesterday.

[a_fatal_mistake]

so, what you're saying, is a boy that i probably would have creamed myself over, if present, took one look at you and one listen (half, at that) and turned your business away? best guess, he thought you thought he was as gay as he looked and were trying to be suave by asking him an "icebreaker" of a question, insinuating you wanted his loreal (i bought this shit at cvs) waxy ass hair in between your fingers as you rail him from behind... cummingly (pun intended) resting your free hand on his boney hip.

let's be honest, i've been single for less than a week and the only pleasure i have in life is to think of boys getting it on. that, and i am going to go see brokeback mountain tonight.

bryan, i am a fucking mess over him. this sucks. i need to come see you soon... perhaps what i need is to hook up with someone else who knows it's going to be meaningless and then i can go 2000 east of it. i'll make up a quick flyer...

[retarded_oscar]

The thought of Jake Gyllsdklgiosvvsdfenhaal just made me wretch. His face looks like he has Down Syndrome. Word up, you're not allowed to like him by virtue of being my friend. Sort of like how I'm not allowed to like most minorities by virtue of being your friend. It's a give and take.

Yo, do like Mariah and pack up ya Louis Vuitton and shake shake shake-shake shake it off. Truth be told, Mark sucks as an individual if did that, period. I think he needs me to come over there and shank his ass. Believe I will get all Maury Povich Show if the situation warrants it.

I'll print that flier out and distribute it around campus. I'm sure college-age people will catch the Freudian significance you holding a blow dryer.

PS,

[a_fatal_mistake]

rumor has it "jake" is only his stage name, he's really corky gilenhall.