my love, ive decided that the only thing that gives me clarity is knowing im loved unconditionally. i catch myself constantly realising that i see people and accept them for what they look like. and not understanding their image of me. i cant see myself and that bothers me. am i vain? maybe. i told someone tonight that i love my eyes and then ( Read more... )

im starting to want to tell. im starting to annoy myself with repetitive acts that only lead to heartbreak/estrangement. but the lack of clarity, while brought on completely by my own mind/heart bears the need to be... well, cleared. i guess that as with everything else, we will see what happens ( Read more... )

i really had the urge just now to spell thanks with an x.

my art on a website

a message seeming eminent enough to click send.

i just woke up and was reading a friends journal entry. i somehow read the word forbunate and accepted it as a real word...

i cant figure myself out. lately i have felt alright but tonight, the moment i got home, i fell into a horrible mood. little things compounded and now all i can think about it how unreachable sleep seems since im not tired and probably wont be for about 5 more hours. i really don't think there is any escaping the things that disgust me and i ( Read more... )

i helped a guy get his car off the road the night before last. while doing this, i got a nail in my tire. then tonight, i let a 30 something man relive his teenage years by skating on my skateboard at a fountain. he dropped it in the water. so im pretty much ruling out any chance of karma being just in any way. i also crashed my car into a ( Read more... )

i was laying in my bed thinking about my heartbeat and i realised that im alive. and that i can't make my heart beat. and i can't keep it from stopping whenever it does. and i felt out of control and weak.

i smoked a cigarette and it felt like i was going to die and it would be amazing. i had to lay down on my bed because it was so intense.