I have an addiction. I just went outside to smoke in zero degree weather. Dayum.

I may need some time for myself. I need a backyard or a car to unwind in. I want to drive, figure shit out. I feel confined and claustrophobic - I’m tired of always looking for a way out. Have I become a cliché of myself? Louder? More extreme? Life size? Am I outgrowing myself or just having a hard time catching up ( Read more... )

i'm a stupid girl. i want to come home.

Photos from the Erotica Ball - a 21+, $60 event that I got into for FREE for being a painted model. It rocked. And rolled :D

( EROTICA BALL )

One of the best compliments I’ve received upon moving here (the others being “Hey girl, I love your costume!” and “You must be from Amsterdam”):

Lindsley: I always forget to put on my snow boots, but I carry an umbrella everywhere! I just wish the coffee houses here sold loose-leaf tea and quit with the overpriced jankey bags.
Karen: …you are so ( Read more... )

She’ll be leaving any day now. She’ll wear thick thigh-high socks and mascara and a pair of hoop earrings her mother gave her. Before she leaves, she’ll have a bowl of cereal with 2% milk and a mug of black tea while she reads her horoscope and breathes and thinks. It’s either really fucking early or really fucking late but in any case the sun is ( Read more... )

( BOULDAH! )

My red jacket smells like musty dorm rooms and too many people. It smells like Portland rain and Pioneer Square and espresso and the Rocky Mountains and greasy Thai food and a hundred different kinds of smoke. It’s stained with hash and slug slime and frosting and vodka and condom lube and cheap costume makeup. It’s stained with me. I’ve stood in ( Read more... )

It is early and I am awake. I can hear keys jingling and bare feet slapping the cold tile and I don’t move. I breathe through my pillow and wait for our old heavy door to creak and the rusted lock to shriek in submission. I crave the hushed quiet of the wind pouring over the mountains and hundreds of refrigerators softly humming in unison. I try ( Read more... )

Here is my new Rocky family, I guess.


( Read more... )