My bed was surprisingly cold, which was odd, because I had just set it on fire. As I layed there, ablaze, I felt my feet tingle, so I cut them off. As usual, my body was tired, but my mind wasn't. So, I decided to shoot out hobos with my sniper. As I crawled over to the window, I realized that I left my sniper in my ovarian vestabule. As I yanked ( Read more... )

Before I went to bed, I had to eat. All I had in my meat locker were radishes and cadavers. I knew I had Dorito's somewhere, probably in my dead hooker room. I checked, nothing. All I found was the foul stench of decay which I quickly removed with Febreeze, and my leather riding crop. Unsatisfied, I checked my spare dead hooker room. Bingo! My ( Read more... )

It was hot. It had been a long day at the office and my thighs were killing me. Terry had walked into my cubicle whilst I was applying calamine lotion to my 'Fashe latte'. I had gotten poison oak the week before while rustling around in banana leaves. My lights wouldn't turn on, but I was. Shadows billowed off my boisterous bosom. Jeremy was out of ( Read more... )