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Comments 12

salsa311 February 10 2004, 14:13:17 UTC
Very good writing. Be careful what you submit though; anything that comes off as slightly "dangerous" to yourself or someone else will be reported to the good 'ole access center.

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ridefour15 February 10 2004, 18:17:15 UTC
I take it that "cut" would be one of those...haha.

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Re: jeepjamie32 February 11 2004, 09:42:16 UTC
i agree with everything...

especially the picture!! yeah tom! :p

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shamrock33 February 10 2004, 16:59:22 UTC
the first time through, i missed the "i wrote these awhile ago" and i was liek wtf! i thought i made you happy! but now it is all coming together....you are a very talented poet, but as previously stated, if anything "suspicious" is submitted, you better do it annonymously or crazy deb brown will be ALL over you!

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theflipside02 February 10 2004, 18:00:02 UTC
u request input and of course i say...it's good. talent. talent that's good.

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Re: ridefour15 February 10 2004, 18:24:08 UTC
inspiration...that's good too. ;-)

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this is tim, i dont have a lj anonymous February 10 2004, 20:43:38 UTC
hey rob,
hmmm i like untitled 3, cut, and progression. The other two are kinda more like song lyrics than poems, i can see someone singing them. U should get a tile for untitled 3, cuz if people have a title they can identify w/ the poem better. The Hidden End maybe? On Cut, see if u can replace forever more, with something, cuz that just brings up Edgar Allen Poe images, and using famous work doesnt go over to well with critics. Progression, just see if u can cut down on the doggeral rhyme, and i think you've got 3 poems that'll make the mag.
Tim

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Re: this is tim, i dont have a lj ridefour15 February 11 2004, 13:22:12 UTC
It's funny...the line "forever more" reminded me of "The Raven" everytime I read it. All day I've been thinking of a new ending, but nothing yet :-/

Thanks for the positive comments, untitled 3 and cut will most likely be submitted, but maybe more still.

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urbrwneyedgrl February 12 2004, 13:14:28 UTC
You rock at poetry Rob. I love them all especially untitled 3, cut, and progression. I think you should submit them all. Well maybe not "cut" cuz they might think something bad. lol. But awesome job.

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ridefour15 February 12 2004, 13:18:13 UTC
Ahhhhh!! Too many Tom Brady icons in comments! Ahhhh!

Anywho, Cut is probably the one I would most likely submit because I'm most satisfied with it. Although a new title is in order...thinking about it, thinking about it. Untitled 3 is probably next most likely to be submitted, with a name as well.

Thanks for liking them :-P

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Re: ridefour15 February 12 2004, 13:19:36 UTC
By the way, check my newer post...I fixed the end to Cut.

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Re: urbrwneyedgrl February 12 2004, 13:25:02 UTC
lol yea I read that after I had already posted. I like that one.

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