I disagree. If there were a best stanza in this piece it would be the third stanza- the alliteration is attractive. With regards to the first stanza, the same reason you threw out slain is similar to why I don't think cries and sane belong together- generally the expectation is that sane things also do not cry. As for the fourth stanza, when I read the word guts I immediately thought of actual entrails, which I know you aren't going for, so maybe try something in a more character/courage direction? Glad to see you writing again, good luck with this! It might help to do some syllable counting- sometimes that helps with metering even if your piece is more free-verse.
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