good news and bad news

[rikibeth]

The good news is, the ENT doesn't think there's any need to stick a scope down my nose or my throat. He says that if there was a tumor or anything, it wouldn't be on-and-off the way I'm describing, it'd be constant. He agrees it's anxiety.

The bad news is, he thinks exercise is the answer. This is not exactly what I wanted to hear.

1) Sure, it's

Comments

[pantryslut]

"Stability" is actually about the arch of your foot, not the ankle, though it can help with that too.

I want to poke at that "I hate exercise" statement but I'm going to trust you can do that yourself.

[rikibeth]

I do. I hate it. I have all sorts of issues from gym classes in school -- I can't use the calisthenics program on the Wii Fit because the WHISTLE between exercises sends me into panic mode. And I don't even like Going For Walks purely for the sake of exercise -- I like to have a destination and an errand. And I can't even fucking invent those effectively right now, because they have torn up the sidewalks on the main street that would lead me to any exercise-distance errands.

It all feels incredibly pointless and unenjoyable. Ask me to help a friend move house, and I will carry boxes up and down stairs all day. Ask me to go out dancing, and I'm out there all night.

I've tried to use dancing as an exercise before. I usually manage to hold it up for about a month, and then it goes to hell.

In fact, I manage ANY sort of exercise for a month, tops, and then I get my period, and I feel like death, and when I take my nice painkillers I have zero motivation to exercise, and that breaks my streak, and I'm done.

I fucking hate exercise.

[pantryslut]

Right. You hate exercise qua exercise. You hate exercise framed as "this has no point but to be exercise." You're hardly alone. And only you can decide whether finding some form of movement is worth it or if you'd rather deal with panic-induced shortness of breath, and from my POV both are valid as long as you're clear on the tradeoff you're making.

[pantryslut]

P.S. my solution has been yoga to a DVD when nobody's home. (And no tree pose.)

[lyonesse]

. does it have to be running? might say yoga work better for you?

. if it has to be running, i suggest the coolrunning.com couch-to-5k program so you don't hurt yourself starting too fast (the classic problem).

. i stopped turning my ankles and getting knee injuries when i switched from "stabilizing" running shoes to vibram five-finger "barefoot" running shoes. ymmv.

. what answer were you hoping for?

[rikibeth]

Is the coolrunning one better than other couch-to-5K programs? 'Cause I already have one on my iPod.

I can't really wear five-finger shoes. My second and third toes are webbed together one joint up. I can't wear toe socks either.

Yoga is sort of an option, though I feel like an idiot at it, and it's not cardio. I especially hate falling over in tree pose.

I was hoping for tranquilizers. :-/

[lyonesse]

i really like coolrunning. i do it most years myself.

there are other barefoot running shoes that aren't toe shoes, but i have no personal experience of them -- there are reviews on the web. marathon sports carries vibrams and possibly others.

if it's for anxiety, is there some reason it needs to be cardio?

if you fall in tree pose, you are supposed to do it holding onto a piece of furniture for stability. (this applies to any pose; falling is not helpful!)

i'm tranquilizer-dependent myself, but i still don't think i could get by without exercise as well. (i have ptsd.) tranqs annoy the heck out of me actually, but that's a different rant and on my time :)

[plymouth]

I like my ZemGear Tabi shoes. They separate out the big toe but not the others. They also sell ones that have all 5 toes together, but I really do like the Tabis. I feel like that gives me the extra toe flexibility that's actually useful - the 4 litttle ones tend to move more or less together anyway, but the big one is legitimately separate. I have the "original series" which are not super durable. I understand their newer ones have stronger soles & I really need to get me a set of the ones that are actually designed for use on asphault.
http://www.zemgear.com/

[sugar_for_sugar]

Exercise is evil. I long to move regularly but I can't find a way to do it that's not pathological. :P

Hugs, best wishes, and all the luck!

[serge_lj]

The ENT? His name wouldn't happen to be Treebeard?

[rikibeth]

Alas, no. He seemed very nearly that old, though.

[juliansinger]

The fuck, exercise?

I know he means well, and he seems to have good reasoning behind it. And I don't know what your history with meds is, and he does. But uh, I'm just curious, did he /suggest/ any fucking anxiolytics, at all?

[rikibeth]

No. This dude was an ENT and today was the first time he saw me and God knows if he even READ my fucking medical history before he came in for the consult

[juliansinger]

From my perspective, and I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but:

My partner's been on anxiolytics for A Long Time. It's not ideal (cuz, money), but it's also not a major issue. If exercise (currently) makes you anxious, I think that drugs (plus maybe exercise IF YOU WANT and if you can find ways to de-link it from the hatred/bad cycles) are a good option, while you find out what-all's making you so anxious.

Anyway. Glad you don't have to deal with this ENT Ever Agayne.

[rikibeth]

I know what's making me anxious: the short version is, my life. I have plenty of external stressors as well as the internal issue of bipolar. Exercise. Feh. Maybe the answer is carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese frosting for elevenses.