Ticking (1/2)
PROLOGUE
The boy standing in front of him was crying. He knew from the new forming bruises that he had just ran away from home again only to found out that he was too leaving. The boy instantly cried when he saw the moving truck and all he could manage to say was, “Wait for me here okay, after I make enough money I promise I’ll come back and take you away from here. Don’t go anywhere where I cannot find you. I’ll promise I’ll come back. Just wait.”
The last time he was here, he was 13, stupid and in love.
Fifteen years had passed and he had earned more than enough to fulfill his promises but every year, without knowing the reason why, he found himself lying on his bed, suitcase by the door, hesitating, contemplating, giving up. This year was a different story.
*
He wasn’t really fond of this town. This town where he grew up reminded him of stormy spring, brutal summer heat, dead leaves, harsh winter night, first love and broken hearts. First love. The briefcase he was holding on suddenly became heavy at the thought. For a while he was contemplating whether or not he should stay, or is it better to quickly turn around and jumps back on the train and never come back, because really, what does this town have for him anyway. Everything. His heart won and encouraged him to stay, so he did.
The town hadn’t changed that much, sure they were new buildings but the air and the beach, God the beach, were still the same. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. All he could see was bruises, tears and a beautiful young boy. Kim Kibum. His first love.
Walking around the town he found his eyes scanning every street and every corner for the familiar face. He wasn’t sure what to expect. He often told himself to stop being ridiculous. No one will wait for him for fifteen years; no one will be stupid enough to take a promise of a 13-year old boy seriously. But deep, deep inside him he desperately wished that Kibum would still be here, waiting for him. Although to be quite honest he himself didn’t really know what he would do if Kibum had really sacrificed all these years to wait for him. To wait for something that wasn’t even certainto begin with.
He spent an hour on the beach with his thoughts before he stood up and got into the first café in sight. The café wasn’t really big; actually, it was quite small. It didn’t serve much aside from coffee but Jinki sat down anyway.
“Coffee?” Jinki nodded and looked up. He wasn’t expecting to see what he was seeing. Cat-liked eyes he used to love so much staring at him and suddenly he left like he was drowning. “Hi.”
He always imagined their meeting would be dramatic. Maybe they would run to each other’s arms, face wet with tears, maybe Kibum would sob and he would hug him so tight it would be hard to breathe. But in reality, it was almost the opposite of that.
After they said their hello’s, Kibum resumed his work and Jinki decided to stay back and wait for the other to finish his shift. So he made himself comfortable and waited. From the corner of his eyes, he observed everything that Kibum did. He hadn’t changed, not one bit. Sure he looks older, but his sharp eyes, pouty lips never changed. These overwhelming feelings suddenly came back to him in a rush that he needed to close his eyes for a second.
“Hi again.” Kibum took a seat opposite of Jinki. He had his glasses and scarves on, he assumed he had finished his shift. “It’s been a while right, Lee Jinki?”
“Yeah…” His finger played at the rim of his mug, eyes didn’t really meet Kibum’s. He felt guilty somehow. Kibum was here. Kibum stayed. “So, um, how have you been?”
“I’ve been pretty good… Got a place to stay and a job. So, can’t really complain.” He paused a smiled a bit, “How about yourself?”
Jinki chuckled and Kibum couldn’t help but adore how his eyes turn into the shape of lovely crescent moons. “Everything is okay, I guess?”
“Why are you hesitating?”
“I don’t know… I don’t know.” They both paused and Jinki might have stared a little too long.
“Gosh, stop staring at me!” Jinki smiled and let out a dreamy sigh.
“Sorry. It just feels so… surreal. It feels so good to see you again.”
“The ball was pretty much on your court. I never went anywhere and you didn’t even tell me where you went.” Kibum looked at his folded hands on the table, that small smile still playing on his lips. “But hey, the past is the past, right?”
“Right.”
“So, what brought you back here?” Kibum asked with a subtle hopeful tone. You.
“Business, really. The company I’m working at is looking to open up a branch here so they sent me to look for potential locations, markets… that type of stuff.” He looked at the other’s face and couldn’t help but notice the slight disappointment on Kibum’s face. That disappointment melted away and was replaced by a grin,
“Ah, and here I am thinking you were on vacation!” Kibum laughed and Jinki couldn’t remember how he could survive without this boy in his life.
They spent the whole night talking, staying clear of the heartbreaks and bruises of the past. They knew it wasn’t the right time to talk about that. Both didn’t want to ruin this sweet little reunion.
-
When the clock hits 10, Jinki and Kibum realized that it was already late at night. Kibum had to go back and Jinki needed to rest for his meetings tomorrow. So they stood in front of the café, hands ready to shake. “Okay, so this is goodbye?”
“I guess so.”
“So, you take care alright Lee Jinki.” Kibum offered a small smile and turned to walk when Jinki suddenly yelled,
“Wait! This is stupid. Can I walk you home?”
“Of course.” It was silent again. They didn’t know why it was suddenly awkward. Jinki couldn’t bear the guilty feeling. Guilty of letting things became like this. Guilty of ruining their perfect relation(friend)ship. What happened to us, we used to have a million things to talk about. Both can taste the words on their tongue but neither have the strength to let it out. After a while, they finally stopped in front of a rundown apartment building. It was so dodgy that Jinki wanted asked how could a creature as beautiful as Kibum lived here, but Jinki deemed it inappropriate. “Here’s my stop, apartment 12.”
“Oh yeah, yeah. I had a great time tonight.” Jinki stopped and stared at Kibum for a minute. Unconsciously, he leaned forward and carefully placed a chaste kiss against Kibum’s cheek. The latter let out a quiet gasp at the unsuspected kiss but smiled nonetheless. “I’ve really missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too. I guess, I’ll see you around?”
“Definitely. I know where to find you.” They exchanged smiles and Jinki stayed to see Kibum’s back disappeared into the building.
*
It wasn’t really surprising that he was outside Kibum’s apartment the next morning with two freshly brewed coffee and bag of warm muffins, pancakes and fresh fruits in hand. He knocked a few times on Kibum’s door (surprisingly, or not so surprising, the front door to Kibum’s building didn’t have a lock so he went straight to apartment 12), but nobody answered. His watch showed it was 7am, maybe it was too early he thought. Just when he was about to leave, a slim figure emerges from the staircase. Jinki scrunched his nose at the sight. Kibum was wearing too skinny of a jeans, his top was glittery, ripped enough to show the world his collarbone and smooth pale neck and his hair looks like he’d been rolling on a bed for hours and didn’t bother to comb it. His top wasn’t the only thing with glitters, upon closer inspection he had put some on his eyelids too.
“Jinki!” Kibum looked genuinely surprised. “What are you doing here?” Pushing all negative thoughts aside, Jinki smiled and held up the cups of coffee.
“Breakfast?” Kibum looked stupefied for a moment but he quickly shook his head,
“Of course! Let me get the door.” The lock clicked open and Kibum stepped aside, giving enough room for Jinki to step in first. The front opened up straight to the small kitchen. The apartment was small. There weren’t many furniture, only a small bed, a small couch with a mismatched coffee table, a build-in wardrobe and a small desk with a TV on it. “Sorry it’s not more… luxurious.”
“Are you kidding me? This is so comfy!” Jinki sat down on the couch and started opening up the coffee and food, laying out the pancakes and muffins. Kibum stood there watching this man sitting on his couch, waiting to have breakfast with him and Kibum just cried.
Kibum always thought that if he ever met Jinki again he would curse at him. Maybe he would yell and hit Jinki, or make Jinki miserable so that he would understand what he went through. But much to his surprise, all of that just evaporated when he saw him. All he could feel was warmth and happiness and comfort. It was like coming back to an old house where you grow up (that is if you had a good childhood.)
“Everything smells- Kibum? Hey, why are you crying?” Kibum laughed awkwardly and rubbed his face.
“Nothing. I’m starving and those pancakes are calling my name.” He took a sit next to Jinki and sighed, “I really appreciate this.” Jinki smiled that gentle smile of his and Kibum could feel the tears started to well up again. But before the tears could fall, Jinki’s hand was already on his cheek, brushing away the tears.
“Then don’t cry, okay? Just eat.” Jinki stuffed a piece of blueberry in his mouth and started eating. He looked at Kibum, nudging him to do the same and he did.
“You’re not working?”
“My local partner isn’t coming to the office until 12, so I had a few hours to kill before we meet and talk business.” “How about you? Just got back from partying?” He looked guilty for a second and realized he was still wearing his outfit from the night before.
“Yeah… I guess you can say that. I’m going to take a quick shower. Are you sure you want to stay?”
“Coffee’s not done yet.” Jinki grinned. Fifteen minutes later Kibum came out from the bathroom, all fresh and smelling like cinnamon. He had to resist himself from hugging the other boy tight and kiss him silly. The simple sight of a freshly showered Kibum wearing an old oversized t-shirt and pajamas pants almost convinced him to screw work and stayed here for the whole day.
“I hope I’m not underdressed.”
“You look great. Better than before.” He blushed a bit and dragged his feet to where Jinki was sitting. He sat down and unconsciously snuggled up to Jinki’s side, yawning.
“I’ll take it as a compliment?”
“You should.” He let his arms gathered Kibum’s smaller body and pulled him to his lap. “You smell like cinnamon.” Kibum silently hummed and pressed his body more into Jinki’s.
“Jinki, why did you leave me back then?” Jinki was caught off guard by the sudden question but he kissed the top of Kibum’s head and answered,
“My parents… think they needed a fresh start. With all the debts that my father had, they thought it would be easier to run away. I never wanted to leave, especially you.”
“Oh.” Jinki gulped and continued on with a question that’s been inside his head since the very first day he left.
“Were you okay after I left? Did your dad…” He felt the other stilling for a moment before letting out a shaky breath.
“Yeah, he did. The good thing was his alcohol consumption lessened, but he took on drugs, which wasn’t really what you were hoping for. Mom ran away a few months after so he beat me up more and said to me ‘fuck school go earn me some money’, so I did. And eventually earned enough to rent this and got away from him. You know, I still went to the beach even after you left, I thought it will be easier for you to find me if I stayed on that beach. That’s partly the reason why I rented this place, it’s really close to our beach. Guess I made the right decision, didn't I?” Jinki looked down and felt tremendously guilty, all didn’t go unnoticed by the younger one. “Don’t look so guilty Jinki, it wasn’t your fault. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“Yeah but I could’ve been there for you. No, I should’ve been there for you.” Kibum sat up and placed his palms gently on Jinki’s cheek.
“No, you need to be with your parents. I understand now, it wasn’t your fault.” Jinki looked up to see the other’s comforting smile, both eyes were equally wet. He was mesmerized. Kibum should be angry with him, yelling at him, anything but smiling.
“Why aren’t you angry?”
“You did what you had to do Jinki. I’m not stupid it’s not like you could live without your parents at that age. I just wished you’d tell me where you went. But like I said, the past is the past. If I hated your guts right now it would just push you away further away from me and I don’t want that.” Jinki was stunned. He didn’t expect Kibum to be this mature and understanding. Then again, much of the things he expected didn’t happen.
“You’re amazing.” It felt like time literally froze until he leaned forward and captured the other by his lips. If this was a movie, fireworks would go off in the distance and a soft romantic tune would be playing in the background to indicate the reuniting of the perfect couple and the screen will fade and they would have their perfect happy ending. But this wasn’t a movie, there weren’t any romantic soundtracks or fireworks. There was utter silence, the only sound present was the sound of their lips tangled with each other. But it was perfect nonetheless. The kiss spoke of passion, of sorry’s, of sorrows and new promises and both boys are lost in it. Kibum head was dizzy from the lack of oxygen (and the lack of sleep) but he didn’t mind, but Jinki felt it and broke the kiss with a soft peck.
“You’ve had a long night and I need to go meet my local partner. Get some rest, okay? You don’t have any shift at the café tonight right? So I can come by tonight?” Jinki said, softly stroking the hair on Kibum’s nape.
“Mmkay. But I already have plans for tonight. A friend of mine needed my help, so I’m going to meet him at 8. So before then?” Jinki nodded and Kibum went back to snuggling against Jinki. Within a few minutes he was already dozing off. Before he was completely asleep he whispered, “Thank you for coming back.”
*
Jinki left Kibum’s apartment with a content smile on his face. He was so happy. To think that he could’ve had this sooner made him realize just how stupid he had been these past years. He was the one postponing their happiness. But like Kibum said, the past was the past. The most important thing right now was that he was here with Kibum again. Suddenly the day looked much brighter.
He arrived a little before 12 with the biggest smile and the most positive aura (said the receptionist downstairs). He had no one to thank but Kim Kibum really. He was lost in his thoughts until a lady politely tapped on his shoulder.
“Mr. Lee Jinki? Mr. Jongwoon is ready for you.” She smiled, gesturing Jinki to stand up and follow her, so he did. She opened a door and the man sitting at the other side of the room quickly stood up and greeted Jinki with the widest grin.
“Lee Jinki! So good to finally meet you in person!”
“Likewise Sir!”
“Please, just Jongwoon would be fine.” The lady from earlier smiled a little and left quietly before Jinki could thank her. “Ah, isn’t this a great day to talk business.” Jongwoon said loudly, stretching his arms above his head and leaned back.
“Definitely. Shall we get right on it?” They shared smiles and started naming location, facts and graphs. Jinki had never felt more positive about anything else before.
-
When the clock strikes five, Jinki’s thoughts started to wander to Kibum. He kept glancing at the clock, hoping that when he finished the day he could still catch Kibum before he went to his friend’s.
“Eager to leave eh, Jinki?” Jongwoon chuckled, noticing the other’s man uneasiness. Jinki looked surprised and blush a little. Jongwoon didn’t need an explanation and started stacking up the papers on the desk. “No need to worry. I think we’re off to a great start. We can do the site inspection tomorrow and you can enjoy the rest of the night! Plans already?” Jinki’s ears turned red and smiled sheepishly.
“Kind of. I’m just eager to explore the town, sir.”
“I told you, Jongwoon is fine. And that’s great! If you’re free tomorrow night though I’ll take you somewhere fun, see the local colors.” With a final nod, Jinki smiled and bid his colleagues goodbye.
-
“Is this going to be a regular thing now? You bringing me food?” Kibum chuckled as Jinki stood in front of his apartment door with a bag of Chinese take-outs.
“Pretty much. I figured since you’re going out tonight, we can have an early dinner together.” Jinki smiled and kissed the corner of his lips. Still new with this kind of affection, Kibum could feel his heart skipped a beat and his a few butterflies flying around in his stomach.
“I can get used to this.” When Kibum gathered enough breath he closed the door and turned to where Jinki was. He was already taking out the food and sitting on the couch invitingly much like he did this morning. Kibum joined him and sat closer than necessary. He quickly decided that he loved Jinki’s warmth. Jinki noticed this and silently fold one of his legs up so Kibum could slide closer and he could put his arms around him comfortably. They stayed like that during the meal with Jinki occasionally stuffing pieces of his chicken to Kibum’s mouth. This felt good. This felt right. So right.
Jinki was putting away the empty cartons when Kibum came out from the bathroom with a more casual set of clothes than he had on last night and Jinki couldn’t lie, he felt a little bit relieved that Kibum wasn’t going to another party. But still, he couldn’t help but to wonder whom Kibum was meeting with.
“Who are you meeting with, if you don’t mind me asking?” He asked while Kibum was gathering his stuff.
“Kim Jonghyun, a friend of mine. We got kinda close after you left.” Kibum looked at the mirror one more time before he went to where Jinki stood. “You’re welcome to stay if you want. But I’m not sure what time I’ll be back.” The older boy squinted and poked Kibum’s cheek where the dimple shows when he smiled.
“Hmm… Should I be jealous?” He smiled suspiciously, trying to look as playful as he could.
“No.” Kibum chuckled seeing Jinki’s expression and answered firmly.
“Then I’m not.” Jinki smiled and pressed a quick kiss to Kibum’s lips.
-
Kibum arrived at his friend’s apartment at exactly 8 o’clock. A few knocks and the door swung open. Kim Jonghyun was quite a handsome fellow. You could tell he works out by his muscles and he had this friendly (a little flirty) smile that made him seem approachable and dare Kibum say irresistible. They met a short few months after Jinki left. By then, the news of Kibum’s mom ‘departure’ had already gone around the neighborhood. People were always saying ‘poor kid’ but no one wanted to approach Kibum, except Jonghyun. He was one of the very few that thought that Kibum’s background was cool. He guessed it goes well with his bad boy image then. Who would’ve guessed that after fifteen years they remained close friends. Jonghyun checked his wristwatch and smirked, “Right on the dot. I’m impressed.” Kibum pat his shoulder and went in as if it was his own apartment.
“Okay, so what do you need my help on?” Jonghyun skipped from where he was and stopped right next to Kibum, draping an arm over the latter’s shoulder.
“Well… There’s this cute girl and tomorrow is her birthday and I need to impress her with a homemade cake.” He explained with puppy-pleading eyes and Kibum shuddered.
“So?”
“So, I think to myself, hey I can’t bake! But you know who can, my beautiful talented friend Kim Kibum.” Jonghyun finished off with a smile and a quick kiss to Kibum’s left cheek.
“Fuck you.” Kibum sighed but moved to the kitchen anyway, leaving behind a jumping, squealing Jonghyun.
Thirty minutes into baking Kibum was already whining. As good as a friend he was, he really wanted to spend the night with Jinki not baking a cake for some girl he didn’t know. “Why can’t you make it earlier!” Kibum groaned as he shifts the icing sugar.
“Hey!” Jonghyun stood up from his stool and walked over to Kibum. “I’m at work the whole day and I need to supervise, don’t I? Besides, I know you need your rest, baby.” He grinned and started massaging Kibum’s shoulder.
“Save your sexual energy for her and I expect more than a massage if you get together with her. Think expensive food.” Jonghyun gave a look of defeat and Kibum just chuckled. He sighed and played with the spilt flour on the table.
“All jokes aside Kibum, you look different today. Like, good different.”
“Do I?” He responded lightly. “I don’t really notice.”
“Yeah, you're grumpy but you look like you're really happy. Like, happy grumpy! Like, I’m not in the mood but fuck off I’m happy. Get it?”
“Wait, so okay. Are you complimenting or insulting me?” Jonghyun only grinned as an answer and Kibum sighed again. “Yeah, something happened. I’ll tell you once I get this cake in the oven.”
While the batter was baking in the oven the friends settle down on the couch with glasses of red and Kibum started his story complete with occasional blushing and gasps on Jonghyun’s side. “So let me get this straight… Your princey is back after missing for years? Well, no wonder you look so happy!” At that Kibum blushed more and stared at his almost empty glass. “Hey, Kibum! That means you can quit that job of yours! Ah! Now I’m so happy for you! It wasn’t easy watching you go through all that Kibum now it is all over right--” Kibum let out a breath and finished his wine in one gulp.
“Not that easy, honey. What if he leaves again, then what’s going to happen to me? Besides, I still need to pay my dad’s bills and everything.” The other boy looked taken aback from Kibum’s statement.
“Okay, I can agree with your first argument, but your dad, Kibum? Seriously?” Kibum shrugged and got off the couch to check on the cake.
“Druggies or not, he’s still the only family I’ve got.” Jonghyun wanted to yell at him for being so stupid but he knew it was a very sensitive subject for the younger man and settled for a low ‘suit yourself.’ And silently hoping this prince of Kibum would eventually save Kibum and give the life his best friend desperately deserved.
*
Kibum finally left Jonghyun’s apartment a little after midnight but not before he got a long lecture about taking care of himself. He started to imagine the things that could happen once Jinki found out about the truth. Jinki would be disappointed that much was obvious, but would he understand? Kibum struggled with these questions all the way to his front door. He let out a deep sigh and opened the door.
All the lights in the apartment were off; save for the reading light next to his bed. The yellow light suddenly made him feel warm all over. Well, it might’ve been because of the light or the sight of a one handsome Lee Jinki reading a book on his bed. Jinki looked up when he heard Kibum dropped his keys and smiled.
“Hey. I hope you don’t mind me using your bed.” Jinki closed the book and put it on the nightstand before he shifted a bit, making room for Kibum.
“You’re silly. Of course not.” He shuffled across the room, taking off his jacket and shoes before settling himself next to Jinki. They were practically squeezed together since Kibum’s bed was obviously made for one grown person only. But they didn’t mind, in fact it was the last thing on their mind.
“Is this okay?”
“More than okay.” They were looking into each other’s eyes and it was one of those moments that you know you were going to kiss. And true enough, Jinki leaned in and just softly pressed his lips against Kibum’s. The soft kiss was fast becoming a hot make out session. Jinki rolled so he was on top of the smaller man. Kibum’s breath hitched when Jinki started raining kisses down his jaw and his neck. It felt so much like a dream. He let out a small whimper and Jinki pulled back to see both of Kibum’s eyes were tightly closed and the pretty boy was trembling.
“Do you not want this Kibum?” Kibum shook his head quickly, his fingers tangled in Jinki’s hair, silently asking him to kiss him again. “Then what’s wrong, Bummie?” Kibum couldn’t help but keep his eyes shut. He had imagined this a million times before. He had dreams like this. Where Jinki came back, both of them in bed, lips kissing, hands grabbing but the moment he opened his eyes, it all disappeared. And though it had become a usual thing for Kibum, he still couldn’t get used to the disappointment he had to face after he woke up. This time was no difference. When Kibum answered Jinki’s question with more trembling Jinki was starting to worry. He gently caressed Kibum’s cheek with his knuckles, trying to comfort him from whatever thought was running on Kibum’s mind “Open your eyes Kibummie.” The other man only shook his head.
“If I open my eyes you might disappear.” It killed Jinki to hear just how desperate and insecure Kibum sounded. He felt tremendously guilty that he almost wanted to stand up. But the feelings of Kibum’s fingers pressing on his skin reassured him that Kibum wanted this and if he stood up it would only hurt the both of them. So he did the only thing he could do. He closed the gap between them and whispered on the other’s lips,
“I won’t disappear.” The words worked its magic and Kibum slowly opened his eyes. Much to Kibum’s relief Jinki was still there, inches above him, smiling, looking down at him and Kibum could’ve just cried. “I won’t disappear ever again, okay?” Tears started to well up on Kibum’s eyes and he just nodded. Jinki kissed him hard. His hands were suddenly everywhere. Kibum was gasping, mewling, moaning, as he had never felt such passion, urgency and need and the fact that it was Jinki, his Jinki, was quite overwhelming.
“I want it.” Kibum gasped out, surprising both Jinki and himself. Jinki stilled in his movement and pulled back to face the beautiful man under him, his face pleasantly surprised.
“Yeah?” Kibum worked his saliva down his throat and nodded. He sat up and took off his shirt. He felt his heart was beating so hard he was scared it would burst in any second. Jinki was still for a moment, seemingly stunned by the milky skin of his Kibum in front of him. Kibum’s shaky brought him back as he took off his shirt and that same hand reaching for the button of his pants, brushing his arousal ever so softly. It was only a moment later that they were both free from their clothes, naked skin pressed on naked skin as their body rocked to a rhythm only they know. Their fingers linked tightly, gaze never faltered as they both reached their limit, crying out each other’s names and words of love.
*
Jinki felt like the happiest and not to mention luckiest guy in the world. Everything was rainbow and smiles. His project was running smoothly thanks to his local partner and Kibum… Kibum was everything he had hoped for and more. It was more obvious than ever now that he wants Kibum to be a part of his future. He started planning out the things to come. He figured that when the project came through he would have enough money to take Kibum with him, or he could stay and work in the new branch here. Kibum could keep his job at the café or look something equally casual because it would be great if Kibum could stay at home, cooking or maybe taking care of their adopted child. Uhm, not that he had thought about adopting because- uhm- he didn’t even know if Kibum wanted children. But Jinki couldn’t help but grinned happily at the image of Kibum and him raising a family together. It would be perfect.
“Hey Lee! What are you so happy about?” Jongwoon chirped from behind him. It was already Friday and everyone in the office was happy as a clown. Including Jongwoon, especially after that call he had received from the big office. “Anyway, we need some celebration now that the project is 60% on the go! You’re going out with me after work!” Jongwoon didn’t give Jinki a chance to reject so he had to go.
Jongwoon looked particularly excited as he dragged Jinki to the elevator just a minute after 5. He was practically giddy throughout the journey until they stopped at a gaudy looking door. Jinki squinted at the sign and let out an inaudible scoff. “As promised, I’m going to take you to the best entertainment in this town. They have the best entrée if you know what I mean.” Jinki politely smiled as the other man winked and started laughing.
Upon seeing the inside, it was just as tacky as Jinki had imagined it. Velvet drapes, flickering lights, floral print couches, it was obvious what kind of place was this. And this, apparently was what Jongwoon called the best in town. “We’d like to order the special.” Jinki noticed Jongwoon whispered to a man dressed in black, casually slipping a wad of cash to the man’s pocket. “Room 4. Shall we go Lee?” They walked down a dimmed lit hallway. On the wall were doors with numbers on them, similar to what they had in noraebangs.
The door with the number 4 opened to reveal what looked like a slightly bigger, dodgier version of an ordinary karaoke room complete with a small stage and a pole and Jinki failed to see the appeal of this place. How did Jongwoon classified this as the best entertainment, Jinki could never understand. Immediately after they took their seats, women with skimpy clothes started coming in with strong liquor and food. The lights started to dim and music started playing. Jinki wasn’t really enjoying himself as this wasn’t his thing but he didn’t want to be impolite and for the sake of the partnership he stayed anyway.
It took merely fifteen minutes for Jongwoon to turn pink and started laughing a pitch higher than his usual voice. Suddenly the light went off and Jongwoon cheered, “Entrée! Oh, Jinki you’re going to love this! He’s very good! Just one look and you can probably see just how expensive he is. Enjoy it, my man.” A single spotlight fell on the small stage and Jinki could see the silhouette of this ‘entrée’ and Jongwoon was damn right. He looked expensive. The man turned around and Jinki’s throat went dry. “Sexy, isn’t he?” You can buy a personal but as I’ve said before, it’s going to cost you a lot. Maybe I should treat you to a personal when this partnership deal came through, eh?” Jinki finally tore his eyes from the dancing vixen and looked at Jongwoon. The latter had this giddy look on his damned face. He would bite his lips and let out an ‘ooh’ every time he saw something he liked and it took all of Jinki’s willpower not to punch the man in the face. The dancer had gone off the stage and closer to the sofa Jinki and Jongwoon were sitting on. With swaying hips he went over to Jongwoon and sat on his lap. Jinki stayed quiet and settled for looking at his shoes, a million emotions rushing inside him.
“You paid for a private, didn’t you big boy?” The dancer said, still on Jongwoon’s lap, his arms on Jongwoon’s chest. And Jinki could recognize that raspy voice anywhere. His Kibum.
“I certainly did. But it’s not for me today baby. I want you to entertain my colleague here, he’s bringing me business.” The vixen chuckled and moved to Jinki’s lap. Jinki looked up, their faces only inches apart and the man on his lap let out a loud gasp. Despite the latter’s expression, Jinki’s remained stoic. Kibum’s action didn’t go unnoticed by Jongwoon and he cleared his throat. “Why are you stopping babe? Any problem?” Kibum quickly shook his head and shot a flirty wink to Jongwoon.
“Of course not baby.” Then he continued dancing on Jinki’s lap and for some odd reason Jinki couldn’t help but close his eyes. Kibum kept on moving and grinding and telling himself that this was strictly professional, this was his job, Jinki was just another customer. But looking at Jinki’s almost pained expression; Kibum felt sad, guilty and possibly every other negative emotion known to men.
In what felt like a thousand years to Jinki, Kibum finally stopped moving and by Jongwoon’s cheers he assumed that the dance was over. He prayed, God did he pray that Jongwoon didn’t buy himself a personal because he honestly didn’t know if he could handle the image of his beautiful Kibum with him. In the distant he heard Kibum excusing himself and he felt kind of relieved that he could finally open his eyes again. He looked around the room again, the girls with the skimpy clothes were inside the room again, sitting around Jongwoon but the only face he could see was Kibum’s. Kibum sitting next to Jongwoon. Kibum running his hand on Jongwoon’s chest. Kibum playfully biting Jongwoon’s ear. And he had had enough. He quickly stood up and bowed.
“Kim Jongwoon-sshi, thank you for tonight but I think I should call it a night” Jongwoon stared at him for a second. Jinki guessed he was trying to gather himself to look sober enough.
“So soon? You didn’t like Key?” The unfamiliar name made Jinki’s stomach twist, knowing that that was the name these men addressed his Kibum.
“He seems lovely, just not my cup of tea.”
“Oh man, I kinda just guessed you’d like it because trust me a lot of men in this town loves it. But I’m sorry. I should’ve asked.”
“No need to be sorry. I’ll let myself out and please, enjoy the rest of the night.” Jinki bowed and walked as quickly as he could out of that place. His feelings started crawling on his skin and he felt like he needed a thousand showers to wash these feelings away.
*
Kibum pulled his jacket tighter to himself. Tonight’s event kept replaying in his head over and over again. He couldn’t forget Jinki’s expression (or lack of). That was definitely not how he imagined Jinki would find out. He couldn’t even explain but then again what difference would it made? Still he found himself sitting outside his apartment’s door waiting for Jinki. He knew he shouldn’t be surprised when Jinki didn’t show up. He fell asleep feeling sick and dirty.
Part 2