(Untitled)

[ripen]

It really breaks my heart to hear a message from my grandmother telling me she's glad I'm 'having a nice time' still thinking I am away and with him. I haven't called her at all since I've returned in fear of what to say to her. I'm trying to protect her from the image she maintains in her mind, because it keeps her sane and good to believe that I

Comments

[sarahdenise]

She'll understand that you'll be happier now in the long run without him as you explain. The beauty of family/grandparents is that they are pretty good at loving you unconditionally and understanding that the other loves pass.

[ripen]

thank you for your positive words, Sarah.

I just had a talk with her, though I had to take the dreaded minutes to calm her down (as I knew she'd be very angry and hurt), I'm a bit relieved and happy to know that she has always been on my side.

[sarahdenise]

Me too! :)

[sweettessa_nj]

Letting family in on our reality when they have been led to believe things have been different is very hard to do. I will never forget how surprised and disappointed my great gradmother was when she realized that Lenny had been abusive our entire relationship. It was shocking to everyone that this charming, mr nice guy who was always willing to help her and even lived in her home with me at one time could be so quite the opposite of what she always believed. But in the end they were there for me and helped me to deal with the pain. I must admit though I felt ashamed for revealing his true nature to them so late and for enduring so much before I finally realized that was not how I wanted to live.

I am glad you did talk to your grandmother and that she is there for you. That alone is so important.

[ripen]

I've come to think that many of the ones who appear so charming and friendly may actually be capable of the worst, as if it's some sort of cover to hide their true nature, a nature they may not even be fully aware of until it is triggered one day.

[sweettessa_nj]

I must agree with you on this.It is the ones undercover that tend to be capable of hurting us the most with their venom that we are caught so off guard by.But experience can only teach us hopefully to spot out these kind before they can get the best of us ever again, or so I would like to hope.

[lightrain67]

...and hopefully she'll be proud of you for not staying in the relationship. I'm sure she is.

p.s. Is this weird? I had a dream about you last night. You were helping me get all dolled up for a night out...makeup, etc. I have no idea where that came from...

[ripen]

that's funny. well, I was in beauty school once so I probably could help you out some in real life. I hope I you looked fantastic before you went out on the town. =)

[lightrain67]

um, if only you didn't live on the other side of the country! hehe

[lightrain67]

and on a different note, has he accepted you've walked away and let you go in peace? I hope you're not being harrassed.

[smolderingheart]

I know it will be hard to tell her, especially knowing her opinion of him and how she felt about you two but I hope she will understand when you explain what has happened and things that have happened in the past.

[smolderingheart]

oops i just read that you had spoken to her. i'm glad to hear she took it that way.

[ripen]

I didn't really expect her to take it any other way rather than I didn't want to hurt her, which I ended up having to do, but I assured her that I am okay and at least she's aware of the truth.

[sun_seed]

hi sweetheart
comments off on your recent entry of "denial" but i wanted to put here that i am so familiar with this "show of true skin" as if it were some sort of lapse in time, a pause if you will, to reveal to us what we should be forewarned of.. and then we try to convince ourselves of the excuses they give us later on. seeing people's true nature is so disturbing yet what is more disturbing is our own denial and acceptance of it as an isolated incident.

i've been reading and my heart has been breaking alongside yours based on what happened to you. could you send me your address to elabird@comcast.net ? i have something i'd like to send to you.

~e.

[ripen]

It rarely ever is an isolated incident...and I know I have been in denial. The title was actually directed more towards myself. The love that I had was stronger than the truth, but once you acknowledge the truth and accept it for what it is it's difficult to go on loving the same way, at least for me now where it's come to this point where it's undeniable. I've struggled with this for years and I guess something so horrible had to happen to force me out of this limbo of denying and settling.

sure, I will send you an email right now.

[sun_seed]

i concur. i did the same thing. four years, actually. until the sense was literally beat into me.

~e.