Working with it is hard, but I'm glad you're looking at things and trying to work through them. I think you'll be able to open up when you're less scared of everything; it's too hard to be honest when you're frightened and constantly in defense-mode, like you are. (Which isn't to be mean, just honest.)
Also, people dismiss it, but that is a valid form of bullying. Exclusion sucks, quite badly. It's why people end up feeling alone and, at times, having psychotic breaks at the worst. Similarly, there IS a reason they impose solitary confinement to break down someone's mind--it's just worse when you can SEE what you're missing, and have it thrown in your face all the time. But I think of it as being on the same principle, really.
So if you need to talk, I'll listen. ^^ Good luck with everything. I hope it's not too painful, and that it comes out well. <333 :) I'm here for you, and I'm sure Alexis would be more than willing to help too.
First off, I love this more than anything in the world, "I might just come off as strange chameleon of awkwardness." It made me laugh, despite how serious the whole thing is
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"Secondly, you're completely right and had/have a legitimate concern when it comes to bullying. Other kids did do that stuff. They ignore, or whisper, or don't include, or include for the sake of humiliating. Kids do ten thousand little things that will hurt each other, and they learn to do it in subtle ways so that adults don't see it. And I know kids did it to you. And I'm glad that me being there made a difference. That makes me want to cry
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Also, you should get an account here so I can put you on friend list. Because a lot of stuff I put on here ends up being locked so only friends can see it, because I don't necessarily want the whole entire internet to be able to access private thoughts. >.> But I want you to be able to see thoughts. So. You should.
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Also, people dismiss it, but that is a valid form of bullying. Exclusion sucks, quite badly. It's why people end up feeling alone and, at times, having psychotic breaks at the worst. Similarly, there IS a reason they impose solitary confinement to break down someone's mind--it's just worse when you can SEE what you're missing, and have it thrown in your face all the time. But I think of it as being on the same principle, really.
So if you need to talk, I'll listen. ^^ Good luck with everything. I hope it's not too painful, and that it comes out well. <333 :) I'm here for you, and I'm sure Alexis would be more than willing to help too.
<3
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Oh,
P.S. I love you.
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P.S. I love you too.
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