Four years later and I get the feeling again I am on the precipice of something. I know that very soon my life will be cleaved again into the 'before' and 'after' - and what a sensation it is to recognise this before the fact, and that it effectively divorces me from the present, not knowing how much my memories of the 'now' might persist, and what ( Read more... )

i've left this thought hanging since june now. i may never find the right words for this, but i think, at least i could try ( Read more... )

i am small, lonely, and ordinary in my room, and suddenly conscious of being ( Read more... )

i think that after some time, any sufficiently conscious or sensitive person would reliably find themselves in a cocoon of sticky, recurring motifs. no matter how long ago or seemingly impertinent. some foundation, some specific meaning, even an entire ontology. i'd always felt an intimate connection with the concept of memory and recounting. at ( Read more... )

9 jul: i was walking about in a dull town - (nothing in my dream indicated the town itself was dull but that it was dull was Somehow Known) - when i walked into the shadows of a mountain or volcano looming, entering into its cool. it was dark yet gave off the sense of beige. but even as i looked onto its unassuming exterior, i felt keenly - the ( Read more... )

two weeks never seems like enough (i'm greedy) yet is enough to disorientate. i dived into foreignness such that i could burrow deep into my inner self. crouch down to the floor of my heart's interiors and feel tender again. i have never had the means to travel so much as i do now (however little) and it is slightly surreal that now as i play ( Read more... )

GRAY

That simply reflects my own experience. Our lifetime friendships can be more steadfast and trustworthy than any marriage, and considerably more treasurable. Those few persons whom I gained as friends before the age of twenty-five, for example. Nothing they would ever say or do would diminish my love and esteem for them. It’s as if they were ( Read more... )

the other evening i stumbled into a yoga studio that i had not known was not air-conditioned and felt dread and annoyance wash over me. it'd been so long since i'd been inconvenienced. as an "adult" you move where you want and i tend to move towards comfort and air-conditioning. at the end of yoga we were instructed to lay supine and so i laid one ( Read more... )

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truth be told i think there's a growing disillusionment in me towards london. which is hard for me to reconcile with because for so long i have identified with, and written about, london and some hopeful inevitability to that fact. i still enjoy london - but i think i have stopped reveling like i had before. (there probably is more on my mind than ( Read more... )