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24 Hours
24 Hours has passed since our beloved T was sent to Heaven. The four days prior once we'd decided it was time for us to let him go...were hell. I tried my best to squeeze in as many cuddles and pats and photos as I could. I've never witnessed a dog being euthanized before, I had so many images in my brain as to how it would go, it was far more ( Read more... ) -
Dear Universe
We sold the RV! For $5000.! I'm grateful for all good things that are happening. -
And out on the other side of the tunnel.
Wow, the difference a month makes. We've still had some fairly major stressors, but the new diet is working wonders, i"ve lost 15lbs! The exercise is doing amazing things for my mood. Feeling much better. Looking forward to our trip, and trying to conceive again. It's a long road, but I feel so much more positive. I know things will work out. ( Read more... ) -
Today is a hard day
Trying again. Terrifying. Do I want to? ? Still don't know. Hard day today. Reminded that I'm doing nothing with my life, and my health is less than 100%. Paid a large bill today and gave up carbs and coffee... Cried a few times. Then realized our water pump came on hours after we'd used water. This happened last year, progressed and we ( Read more... ) -
If tears cleanse the soul...
Mine must be getting pretty squeaky clean! I have had the hardest two months of my life. It started with a miscarriage, and snowballed from there. Grandfather had a double bypass and valve replacement , other grandfather injured, mother in law ill with something permanent, car left me stranded, dog has heart disase, discovered father needs heart ( Read more... ) -
Not all better...
Having a hard day today. My birthday is in 3 days, and my birthday weekend has been highly meh. It would've been the first day of my second trimester today :,( I'm just sad. On the verge of emotional. I cried today, just a little, and kept myself busy...but it didn't make it any less difficult. Been thinking about whether or not I should go ( Read more... ) -
Much better state of mind
Well the last two days have brought clarity and peace within me. I saw the OB today (I kept my scheudled appointment from my referral when I found out I was pregnant 40 days ago...) Partially because I wanted some peace of mind, some answers and partially because I couldn't reach the office on the phone, so really had no choice but to go and tell ( Read more... ) -
Just plain sad.
It has rained for 3 days, seems like forever. It's been raining in my heart for nearly 2 weeks now. Will it ever stop? -
Extreme Guilt
It just washed over me. I was standing in the kitchen, my husband making potatoes and pork chops for dinner, and it hit me. It's my fault. It's my fault that I am not celebrating the 11th week of pregnancy today. It's my fault we're not starting to look at cribs, strollers and the like. My body failed me, but moreso I feel I failed my body ( Read more... ) -
2 Broken Hearts
"We lost the baby" Hardest words to say, just as hard to hear. Today was the first time I heard my husband say that. He had to tell someone at work over the phone,and it broke my heart again. LIstening to the pain in his voice makes me ache. No matter how many times we reassuringly say to others "It's ok, these things happen, we'll recover and ( Read more... )