-
Anxiety Rising
Somewhat slow day at work yesterday though every time I tried to take lunch someone needed something so i didn’t get to lunch until about 4:15. Blech. When I went on my lunch, I noticed that Jesse had texted me asking about my plans for the night. As excited as I was to hear from him it just struck me as odd because we don’t really talk all that ( Read more... ) -
Sleep over 5-15-10
Jesse asked if maybe i would want to come out to Santa Cruz for dinner and maybe stay over. And said he wanted to hold me this time. :-) I was smiling soooo big when he asked me. I agreed of course. So i went home after work to shower and get some clothes and headed out. Got there around 8:30 and we decided to get dinner this cool place called ( Read more... ) -
Second Date 5-10-10
Jesse sent me a text after he was done with work about possibly coming out to Santa Cruz. I told him that if he really thought he had the time to hang out and still get his homework done i would come out there. He had to show the house to a potential new housemate and then he would be free. So i got ready and headed out there ( Read more... ) -
First Date 5-9-10
After talking every day this week i finally asked him if i could take him out. He said he would be in the Bay on mothers day and we could go out to dinner that night, I was so nervous i couldn't eat for 2 days. Weird because i have never really gotten like that over a boy. I just wanted him to like me and I was afraid i would say something stupid ( Read more... ) -
Meeting Jesse
2 May 2010 We met Renegades in San Jose. Some random drunk girl introduced us but neither of us even knew who she was. Glad she did though because he seems like a very down to earth guy. We talked for a bit and seemed to be interested in each other. Our friend Matt ended up being the one to push the set up which was great. He told Jesse to come get ( Read more... ) -
When will it stop?
Why is it so hard to let go? Why is it so hard to say goodbye? Why do i feel so alone now? Im so confused, more then i have been since the days trying to figure out if i was gay or not. Those days are some of the scariest days of any gay mans life, and i feel as if they are happening all over again. I havent been this shaken in years and again i ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
str8 boys seriously play to much. they just like to play games. -
(Untitled)
i want to rip my hair out. Things just seem to get more complicated every second. This situation suxs so bad. I dont know how all of this is going to play out, iv played it out in my mind several times, and i even saw part of this comming. I know my self all to well yet still know how to trick my self. I just know how i cycle through friends which ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
gahhhhhhhh, things always seem to find a way of being increadibly difficult. I cant even start to explain all of it because it just gets too complicated. Amitst dealing with my own drama, which any of you who know me know im not very good at it because its usually the most rediculous shit that never happens (which makes it somewhat bearable just ( Read more... ) -
:(
Im so mad at my self righ tnow because i wanted to get up and go to the arroyo graduation rehursal since i cant go to the graduation but i woke up at like 1, so its just not gonna work out. I cant belive mike is graduation this year, its soooo weird to me, seeing him come in as a freshman and all the drama that happened. ITs jsut weird to me that ( Read more... )