I cried for the first time in five years today. People have thought I have cried in the past, but it has been five years since  tears have reahced my chin. That is a long fucking time. A half a decade. I miss someone, and I am crying because I want to run away so bad. I was so touched by a song today that reminded me of my life. It ( Read more... )

                             I have cut certain people out of my life. This is for an ultimate purpose. My happiness. I am tired of dealing with people who use, and then abuse certain situations. I have better ways to spend my time then trying to please you. I have pushed out the people who have nothing better to do with their time then to gossip, ( Read more... )

                    Somewhere along the way we were left to be orphans. Our families to busy to care for us. We were on our own. We are not kids anymore, and we can now see the world as the capitalist whore it is. Its legs spread open taking in every greedy consumer it can. Where Health care, life's necessities, the American dream, and even love ( Read more... )

                “In the end we are all alone, but baby I am going to fight. I am going to fight to watch the majesty of that last day with you. I am going to fight to see you when you’re seventy- five, and when you ask where I have been. I will tell you I have been finding truth in this world, and so far I have found nothing but assholes.”

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                I need to pull myself up from this slump. I feel better since last night, but I am afraid I will sink. I am happy with the social status of my life, but other aspects are not that appealing. I am scared. I admit it. I want instant gratification so badly. My patience is worn out. I am running on my back up battery right now. I am ( Read more... )

 Her Misguided feet take a step towards me, and an akward cuteness to her movements follow. Her hair is dark, and beautiful. It has a rich sweet auroma to it. She has eyes that could pierce my soul, but deep beyond the pupils I get pulled into the mysterious void. We move towards the bed, and I playfully push her in. I pull her close to me, and ( Read more... )

 The world is falling apart around me. My walls are caving in. I feel like I am on the edge of my pathetic exsistance. All I can think about is somewhere warm that I cold run off to. I never wanted to feel like this. I am taking the next big step in my life, and everything is crashing down on me now. I am sick, I am tired, I had nightmares all ( Read more... )

               Paranoia consumed me today. A sadness that was very strange to me. I was scared of losing Erika. My mind sank into this morbid melancholy, and I just wanted to hurt myself in whatever way I could. A thought passed through my head that I was no where near what she deserves. I just slipped into this depression at work focusing my mind ( Read more... )

       I went to Guernsey last weekend. It was different in a way, and it was better then I imagined it would be. Brett worked most of the weekend so we did not really get to spend as much quality time as we could of with him. A.J., Donny, Sarah, Erika, and myself all went down. We partied, had Chinese food, road the ATV, swam, rolled down the hill ( Read more... )

       So I am annoyed right now. Mainly because I miss my friends, who are out having the time of their lives. I am stuck in a shitty situation in a shitty town. It is Sunday night Fuck Sunday! Fuck Christianity! Sundays are easily the most useless day of the week. No one wants to go out usually. I am free tonight. I want to go out. I want to roof ( Read more... )