Every time I drive my car, I get so frustrated. I mean, why me? Why am I the only guy in my neighborhood who doesn't have a tricked out ride? I mean, is it so much to ask to have a $2000 set of rims? Would it kill my P's to buy me an airbag job? Argh! They just don't understand the difficulty of pimpin' ladies these days! I mean, when I'm ( Read more... )

What a day. Today I spent five hours asking my neighbors if they needed their lawns mowed, but everytime I told them what I charged, they just shut the door in my face. One guy even tried to punch me, but I just used a little tae kwan do, and he learned real quick how fast blood can squirt out of a man's nose. I mean, I live in a fairly rich ( Read more... )

I just found out that my dog is pregnant. Silly whore! My mom told me that we got her fixed but apparently they did a very stupid job because the moron got knocked up again. And you know, it wouldn't be so bad if she actually did it with a good looking dog, but she always picks the losers. Like last year when she got pregnant by my uncle's wolf ( Read more... )