I just  got off the phone with andrew and he was depressed because he can't get a "real job" and has bills to pay. He takes things so personally...there was a very successful person who came into his job today, and of course it made him think that he wasn't successful. I do the same thing so I can't blame him, but he really hurt my feelings. He ( Read more... )

 So I just got back from the most beautiful weekend at Heather's house. She took me to a mountain top and it was probably the most beautiful place I've ever been. The grass was the most green I have ever seen it. There were no gates or anything...it was just me and the earth. I couldn't even take time to think about my life - I was just overwhelmed ( Read more... )

I don't know  anyone else who has a problem with their style like I do. It might not seem like a big deal but it really pisses me off. One day I will look sort of hip- hoppish the next day hippish and the next rockish.....it is so stupid but I feel wrong when I go with all these looks. I feel like I should have a defined style but I don't. It's not ( Read more... )

So I  really like the idea of writing in this thing but no one looks at it any more. I read over all my past journal entries. WOW. I was so emo, but I had so much fun half the time. I was cracking up at some of the comments made. Especially Andrew's. It's hard to believe that we are still together. We've gone through so much. Our relationship has ( Read more... )

 Sometimes I feel like dying just so I can forget about the past. When I think about the things I 've done in the past, or the way I've reacted to things I get a sick feeling in my stomach. At the same time, I'm scared of the sins I will have to pay for when I die. I don't know what I want out of life. Or I know what I want, but I don't think I can ( Read more... )

 It's crazy to look back on my journal and see how much I've changed over the past few years. Although my old journal entries are dumb and emo, I liked the person I was and people liked me. I used to be an artist who loved to create. I feel like I'm finally starting to get back into it, but it has taken a few years. The more I try to fit in, the ( Read more... )

I feel like I don't belong. I feel like a horrible person, just for being myself. I'm not a bad person, so why do you think I am? Do you guys make me feel this way? Do I make myself feel this way? I don't know. Why have things changed? Why did I let them take my place? Why did YOU let them take my place? I'm so frustrated because I don't know any ( Read more... )

I'm on Dean's Trip, and I do not have the use of a computer, I miss Heather so much, I love her with all of my heart and I don't know what to do with myself. And Heather pleasures me better than Andrew ever could.

-I love Heather-

( Read more... )

It's over, so stop telling your friends to talk to me. I don't like you. You don't like me. Stop commenting on my journal. We're not friends. Just get over it. I can't be any more blunt about it so if you don't get it, you're an idiot.