ZETA: EPISODE 06
[ 05 | 06 | 07 ]
MOBILE SUIT ZETA GUNDAM [DISC TWO]
WAIT WHAT IS THIS
DOES THIS MEAN THAT
QUATTRO IS REALLY...
?!?!?!!!
Okay enough of that, let's get on with our review.
EPISODE 06: TO EARTH
I totally just caught myself dun-dun-dan'ing to the intro. Damn it, self.
We begin this episode following the Argama. Sweet, sexy Argama. And the Argama is being tailed by the Titans! We see Jerid walk into a room full of Feddies who aren't speaking too highly of the Titans. Namely, 'all you need to join the Titans is a big mouth'.
"THEN I'D FIT RIGHT IN!"
Yes, yes he would!
But Jerid walks in like he's The Man and they shut up.
"HOW'S IT GOIN', TIGER?"
So Sexy Broad harasses Jerid who's about to Zeta Pauuuunch her until the door opens and the commanders walk in.
This, everyone, is Jamaican. If you are not familiar with the Zeta series, you're probably saying his name wrong.
I specifically wanted to show you Jamaican because every fucking time I see this guy, I can only picture this:
Moving on.
Jamaican briefs us with the Argama and some French Ship are "heading for either Side 1, Side 2, or the Moon."
THEY GOT THEIR SHIT NARROWED DOWN, HUH? AT LEAST WE KNOW THEY'RE NOT HEADED FOR MARS!
*crickets*
Back on the Argama!
Kamille's not very happy this guy is interrupting his trolling on 4chan.
Actually he's designing the Zeta Gundam and he's really pissy about it, too, even though Astonaige is trying to compliment him on it. Kamille ultimately takes his disc and leaves. THE FOOLS, THEY'D NEVER UNDERSTAND. HOW DARE THEY CALL HIM A NEWTYPE. GUFAW.
EARTH FEDERATION UNIFORMS ABOARD AN ANTI-EARTH WARSHIP.
Kamille looks happy.
NEVERMIND, KAMILLE DOES NOT LIKE WHAT HE SEES
AT ALL.
Kamille tosses his Zeta disc at Reccoa and then he runs away like a sissy. As he's making his escape,
Kamille comes across a jogger.
A space jogger.
But where is Kamille running to? He stops before a door, looks hesitant, waits, then knocks.
Kamille's pimping has already begun.
Emma isn't too happy though, so what is Kamille's excuse? "I was just in the neighborhood."
Yeah.
Actually I remember a doujin that started off this way.
Emma pretty much tells Kamille to go away and get a girlfriend.
Reccoa appears and Kamille learns that pimping ain't as easy as it sounds. So he smacks the disc away and RUNS.
BRILLIANT.
Leaving Reccoa and Emma alo--
UH
Ironically this soon cuts back to Kamille who finds an observation room.
Where everyone is watching the cameras in Emma's room. Henken tells them to turn up the volume.
It's about to get hot.
I love Henken.
Blah blah blah colonies got gassed. More on that when the episode arrives. Whoops I mean good heavens there's no way they gassed a colony! I hope I never have to see something like that!
Actually why is the door to an observation room WIDE OPEN?
Clearly so EVERYONE can observe! I guess.
We cut back to the Titans meeting where suddenly every Feddie is like FUCK YEAH THAT'S SO COOL BRB JOINING THE TITANS. Jerid is appointed squad leader and Sexy Broad is angry about that. As they leave, Jerid calls after her.
AW YEAH GONNA PUNCH A LADY
TIME TO BREAK OUT THE SMACK COUNT--
NEVERMIND.
This, technically, counts as a smack to the face, doesn't it?
Yeah. Yeah, it does.
17
To which Jerid responds with tl;dr BAW WHY ARE YOU GOOD I'M SUPPOSED TO BE AWESOME
HEY TELL ME HEY HEY HEY HEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M AN ANNOYING BRUTE HEY
Sexy Broad shoves him away because he's being a dumbass, then suddenly turns the tables on him.
Remember when Gundam had females who were strong, outgoing, and dominant?
...Literally? in before insane ZZ broad
Jerid continues to whine, then tells us it's his dream to BECOME THE LEADER OF THE TITANS.
YEAH!!
So Sexy Broad suddenly decides she likes him and asks in a sultry voice for him to start the mission on her ship.
Jerid isn't sure what just happened, either.
BACK ON THE ARGAMA!
Char chides someone in his smooth, sexy voice and--
IT HAPPENS TO BE KAMILLE.
...
8)
This scene is hilarious because Kamille makes the mistake of asking Quattro about the Colony 30 incident, unaware that Quattro hates people and wants everyone to die. Kamille tries to act cool through this, then changes subject to Reccoa, and Quattro changes that subject even faster, so fast that the eye catch appears and we're halfway done with this episode!
Upon return, Quattro muses to himself that Kamille reminds him of Amuro.
THE LOVE TIRANGLE BEGINS THE PLOT THICKENS.
I shoulda been counting the number of soft drink cups as well as Zeta punches, but that's not as fun.
So Jerid is a newb all over again, albeit an ENTHUSIASTIC one, and Reccoa's getting ready to launch in a death capsule headed for Earth. Reccoa asks to be left alone until she has to launch--
WHEN KAMILLE APPEARS. AND BOTHERS HER. AND PESTERS HER. AND ASKS HER STUPID QUESTIONS THAT ARE LIKE HORRIBLE, VAGUE PICKUP LINES.
KAMILLE CHECKS HER OUT. Actually it's more like lecherous lingering.
Then Reccoa yells at him to gtfo.
Danaaaaan a battle's about to begin. Henken gives out the best order I've heard this far, "STOP WHINING AND DO IT."
Ah yes, there used to be a time where shit just wasn't tolerated in Gundam. :(
So Quattro defeats a space satellite and I can only wonder why he didn't just fly up from behind if it had laser guns on the front that would shoot at him.
KAMILLE STEALS THE GUNDAM
...
AGAIN
BUT BY NOW THEY'RE USED TO THIS SO THEY'RE JUST LIKE GOD DAMN IT ALL.
Shit happens.
Warship sinks. Way to go guys.
Death is so immediate and tragic. );
!!
WELL WHO IS THIS SLICK MOTHERFUCKER, COULD THAT BE NONE OTHER THAN AMURO R--
Nah.
There's no way Amuro would be a handsome, suave, rich--
"MISTER AMURO, SHOULD I BRING YOUR TEA OUTSIDE?"
...M-Mister Amuro. Lol.
Dramatic slooooowdoooooown.
Space tackling commences. As do intense countdowns. Everyone's encouraging each other through their battles!
Kamille kicks Jerid in the crotch.
VICTORY!
Kamille watches Reccoa enter Earth's atmosphere in something not even the size of my car.
Oh well this is a nice--
*CUE NARRATION OF DEATH THAT GUILT TRIPS YOU FOR BEING ALIVE.*
*followed by relaxing lounge music and credits*
MOBILE SUIT ZETA GUNDAM [DISC TWO]
WAIT WHAT IS THIS
DOES THIS MEAN THAT
QUATTRO IS REALLY...
?!?!?!!!
Okay enough of that, let's get on with our review.
EPISODE 06: TO EARTH
I totally just caught myself dun-dun-dan'ing to the intro. Damn it, self.
We begin this episode following the Argama. Sweet, sexy Argama. And the Argama is being tailed by the Titans! We see Jerid walk into a room full of Feddies who aren't speaking too highly of the Titans. Namely, 'all you need to join the Titans is a big mouth'.
"THEN I'D FIT RIGHT IN!"
Yes, yes he would!
But Jerid walks in like he's The Man and they shut up.
"HOW'S IT GOIN', TIGER?"
So Sexy Broad harasses Jerid who's about to Zeta Pauuuunch her until the door opens and the commanders walk in.
This, everyone, is Jamaican. If you are not familiar with the Zeta series, you're probably saying his name wrong.
I specifically wanted to show you Jamaican because every fucking time I see this guy, I can only picture this:
Moving on.
Jamaican briefs us with the Argama and some French Ship are "heading for either Side 1, Side 2, or the Moon."
THEY GOT THEIR SHIT NARROWED DOWN, HUH? AT LEAST WE KNOW THEY'RE NOT HEADED FOR MARS!
*crickets*
Back on the Argama!
Kamille's not very happy this guy is interrupting his trolling on 4chan.
Actually he's designing the Zeta Gundam and he's really pissy about it, too, even though Astonaige is trying to compliment him on it. Kamille ultimately takes his disc and leaves. THE FOOLS, THEY'D NEVER UNDERSTAND. HOW DARE THEY CALL HIM A NEWTYPE. GUFAW.
EARTH FEDERATION UNIFORMS ABOARD AN ANTI-EARTH WARSHIP.
Kamille looks happy.
NEVERMIND, KAMILLE DOES NOT LIKE WHAT HE SEES
AT ALL.
Kamille tosses his Zeta disc at Reccoa and then he runs away like a sissy. As he's making his escape,
Kamille comes across a jogger.
A space jogger.
But where is Kamille running to? He stops before a door, looks hesitant, waits, then knocks.
Kamille's pimping has already begun.
Emma isn't too happy though, so what is Kamille's excuse? "I was just in the neighborhood."
Yeah.
Actually I remember a doujin that started off this way.
Emma pretty much tells Kamille to go away and get a girlfriend.
Reccoa appears and Kamille learns that pimping ain't as easy as it sounds. So he smacks the disc away and RUNS.
BRILLIANT.
Leaving Reccoa and Emma alo--
UH
Ironically this soon cuts back to Kamille who finds an observation room.
Where everyone is watching the cameras in Emma's room. Henken tells them to turn up the volume.
It's about to get hot.
I love Henken.
Blah blah blah colonies got gassed. More on that when the episode arrives. Whoops I mean good heavens there's no way they gassed a colony! I hope I never have to see something like that!
Actually why is the door to an observation room WIDE OPEN?
Clearly so EVERYONE can observe! I guess.
We cut back to the Titans meeting where suddenly every Feddie is like FUCK YEAH THAT'S SO COOL BRB JOINING THE TITANS. Jerid is appointed squad leader and Sexy Broad is angry about that. As they leave, Jerid calls after her.
AW YEAH GONNA PUNCH A LADY
TIME TO BREAK OUT THE SMACK COUNT--
NEVERMIND.
This, technically, counts as a smack to the face, doesn't it?
Yeah. Yeah, it does.
17
To which Jerid responds with tl;dr BAW WHY ARE YOU GOOD I'M SUPPOSED TO BE AWESOME
HEY TELL ME HEY HEY HEY HEY WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M AN ANNOYING BRUTE HEY
Sexy Broad shoves him away because he's being a dumbass, then suddenly turns the tables on him.
Remember when Gundam had females who were strong, outgoing, and dominant?
...Literally? in before insane ZZ broad
Jerid continues to whine, then tells us it's his dream to BECOME THE LEADER OF THE TITANS.
YEAH!!
So Sexy Broad suddenly decides she likes him and asks in a sultry voice for him to start the mission on her ship.
Jerid isn't sure what just happened, either.
BACK ON THE ARGAMA!
Char chides someone in his smooth, sexy voice and--
IT HAPPENS TO BE KAMILLE.
...
8)
This scene is hilarious because Kamille makes the mistake of asking Quattro about the Colony 30 incident, unaware that Quattro hates people and wants everyone to die. Kamille tries to act cool through this, then changes subject to Reccoa, and Quattro changes that subject even faster, so fast that the eye catch appears and we're halfway done with this episode!
Upon return, Quattro muses to himself that Kamille reminds him of Amuro.
THE LOVE TIRANGLE BEGINS THE PLOT THICKENS.
I shoulda been counting the number of soft drink cups as well as Zeta punches, but that's not as fun.
So Jerid is a newb all over again, albeit an ENTHUSIASTIC one, and Reccoa's getting ready to launch in a death capsule headed for Earth. Reccoa asks to be left alone until she has to launch--
WHEN KAMILLE APPEARS. AND BOTHERS HER. AND PESTERS HER. AND ASKS HER STUPID QUESTIONS THAT ARE LIKE HORRIBLE, VAGUE PICKUP LINES.
KAMILLE CHECKS HER OUT. Actually it's more like lecherous lingering.
Then Reccoa yells at him to gtfo.
Danaaaaan a battle's about to begin. Henken gives out the best order I've heard this far, "STOP WHINING AND DO IT."
Ah yes, there used to be a time where shit just wasn't tolerated in Gundam. :(
So Quattro defeats a space satellite and I can only wonder why he didn't just fly up from behind if it had laser guns on the front that would shoot at him.
KAMILLE STEALS THE GUNDAM
...
AGAIN
BUT BY NOW THEY'RE USED TO THIS SO THEY'RE JUST LIKE GOD DAMN IT ALL.
Shit happens.
Warship sinks. Way to go guys.
Death is so immediate and tragic. );
!!
WELL WHO IS THIS SLICK MOTHERFUCKER, COULD THAT BE NONE OTHER THAN AMURO R--
Nah.
There's no way Amuro would be a handsome, suave, rich--
"MISTER AMURO, SHOULD I BRING YOUR TEA OUTSIDE?"
...M-Mister Amuro. Lol.
Dramatic slooooowdoooooown.
Space tackling commences. As do intense countdowns. Everyone's encouraging each other through their battles!
Kamille kicks Jerid in the crotch.
VICTORY!
Kamille watches Reccoa enter Earth's atmosphere in something not even the size of my car.
Oh well this is a nice--
*CUE NARRATION OF DEATH THAT GUILT TRIPS YOU FOR BEING ALIVE.*
*followed by relaxing lounge music and credits*