These are the lyrics to the first song from my stoner rock band, the Rolling Doobies (working title ( Read more... )

sometimes when I floss it smells like great-grandma's house

So the most popular and respected scientist of the twentieth century was.... A SOCIALIST!!! Well, well, well, Republicans, interesting how the man we all agreed was the smartest of our times believed in a centrally-planned economy. It's kind of disappointing to me, but may be of note to you cold-hearted baby-eating right-wingers, that he spends ( Read more... )

the finer things in life ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

( Read more... )

He asked me the time in his old-timey midwestern accent. I gave it to him. Then he kept talking ( Read more... )

You rat-eating, baby-fucking bastards. You think you can fuck me when my back is turned? Of course you don't have the decency to fuck me while I'm facing you. You know you couldn't fuck me, I'd fuck you instead. You fucking monsters. You Sjodin-raping, dolphin-maiming pigfuckers. You are worse than the spoiled sour cream topping a firey ( Read more... )

Oh no ( Read more... )

All night she told me stories that she'd told me twice before but I didn't care because I'd forgotten them anyway and then there was an element to listening to stories that isn't usually there where I try to remember the end before she gets to it and with each new piece the picture is a bit more complete just like a jigsaw puzzle. She speaks in ( Read more... )