(Untitled)

[romanlawyer]

Without Cream on Top
I want to take my girlfriend to Phipps, and when she’s ordering ice cream at the food court, right when she’s ordering, pat her bottom and say, “remember, sex hurts me when you’re heavy.” That way, she’ll always stay lean and true.

Comments

[kdollarsign]

Well, it's time to add me back, now!

[romanlawyer]

I'll be the judge of that, you fickle lady of fortune.

[calamityjake]

She should do that to you, fatty.

[romanlawyer]

Agreed.

[ghostofchance]

hahaha! and when my boyfriend and i watch porn, i'll pop him in the back of the head and say "ok now pay real close attention to what this guy is doing here so you can learn." Hopefully he'll take some pointers and stop being such an awful waste of a cock.

[romanlawyer]

I'm literally uncomfortable reading that. I've never liked the c-word. It's like, if you say it, you've conjured it, then it's gonna walk in the room and start wailing on you. That's my worst nightmare--getting worked by nuts personified.

Um, I don't want to talk anymore.

[ghostofchance]

no, that only happens if you say it 3 times in a row.

oh, so it's a double standard, but i'm the monster because i used the "c" word.

tha's fine. we don't have to talk.

[romanlawyer]

Oh, you'll talk--you just may not like what I'm hearing.