Last night, in a dream, I was locked into a warehouse of caged lions. I know it was a dream because last night I was at my home, where no lions live. I know they were lions because the person who locked me into the warehouse said, “if you can survive the lions’ attack, you may join our secret society.” I also know that these animals were lions ( Read more... )

collar bone. crumbs and cake.
dark board. stone floor.
shortened sock, trapped below the shoe line.
stamped ceiling, tin and patterned.
black watchband
black watchband. shitty plastic flower singular in a dusty vase.
shaped by the social sanction.
opinions on a rubber wristband
opinions with needles and indigo.
upper arm. short

She is of Italian descent but named after a state that fought for the confederacy, requiring that I roll my eyes. I asked her which is the greater sin-to support slavery or fascism, but she didn’t think the conversation was appropriate or relevant. I agreed that it was an irrelevant question but I demanded that she email me her response within 24 ( Read more... )

For thirteen years I refused to play pool as matter of policy. While the game requires skill, it does not require athleticism, and indeed that may even keep you from becoming a great player. Wayne Gretsky refused to play pool for this reason ( Read more... )

The first time I was suspended from high school, the official charge against me was downgraded from “verbal sexual assault” to “lewd conduct ( Read more... )

Jake: I’m going to remember your behavior from tonight.

Sophie: I’m going to remember your behavior.

Jake: I’m clean. I did nothing wrong. Essentially, I’m an angel in this affair.

Sophie: I needed your help and you just stood there watching NASCAR or something.

Jake: Cheap shot. It was a replay of a crash-big difference. Saying I ( Read more... )

I went to the window
And with my head to the sky
Said that whoever hears this
Is part of me.

***

I marked each day
With a green pen I
Won from a raffle
For a scooter. Second prize.

In college, I dated a girl who would only take showers in the dark. At the time, I found this attractive and it added to her mystique. Even though I should have read the signals like a sticker on car window, “Incest on Board,” I continued to date her.

It’s been months since I’ve been able to visit one of the porn sites in my daily rotation without seeing some dude or chick wearing a LIVE STRONG bracelet. Basically, way to screw up my orgasm. Some people want to just watch a good show, maybe a little sweat, but the cancer-jewelry is just too much. It reminds me of every loser Capitol Hill ( Read more... )

Ever since I was 19 years old, I would leave a $20 bill on my dresser when I had a prostitute over for the night. You never exactly know what you are going to get when you make that call. Sometimes you know right away, “Yeah, I don’t like massive gaps in people’s teeth. Some do though: Madonna. So chin up. Here’s something for the trouble. ( Read more... )