Every time I look back at this journal, I think to myself....I am going to start writing in this more often, clear my head, express myself. It lasts for about a day and then I go back to bottling things up and keeping everything inside. I don't even know if people still read these journals or not, but fuck it....it feels good to put things in ( Read more... )

So I decided to leave work today around 1:45 because I was so bored and couldn't focus on work in the first place. So I cashed in some sick time and left work half way through the day. It's not even 4pm and I'm already on my 4th glass of wine ( Read more... )

"I saw my whole life as if I had already lived it. An endless parade of parties and cotillions, yachts and polo matches. Always the same narrow people, the same mindless chatter. I felt like I was standing at a great precipice, with no one to pull me back, no one who cared... or even noticed ( Read more... )

June 30, 2009. My world had it's first huge shake up since my grandmother passed a few years earlier. David Prescott Twomey III passed away due to complication from H1N1 flu combined with a staff infection. Dave was one of my closest and dearest friends for over 8 years. He was one of the best friends I had. I have so many good memories of times we ( Read more... )

The only time you talk positive about our relationship, or lack thereof, is when you are happy or when you need something. The minute something doesn't go your way or something isn't pleasing to you, you don't care and I'm the one who is fucked up and has messed things up. You even say that we have both gone our own ways, and I have said that too, ( Read more... )

Tomorrow is your birthday....and you have basically told me that you don't want me to be a part of it. You are only concerned about what is going on for it with Linda, Angelo, and Nikki.

I stopped caring as much as I used to but to actually hear this come out of your mouth....really hurt.

Just had to get that out. Going for an hour long run.

So work keeps kicking my ass. I mean I am very happy because I basically get to do my visual job fully and completely again....but I am so not used to being up and to work at 6am anymore. It is so very dark at 330am when the alarm goes off. Makes it very hard to roll out of bed ( Read more... )

So here is a clue of how exhausted I have been from this week of work so far. I literally fell asleep on a bench in a clothing store fitting room waiting for Sandy to finish up. Like completely passed out, full on sleep, while the store was open and there were other customers around. I have had maybe about 8 or 9 hours of sleep since Sunday morning ( Read more... )

Wow. It has been 23 weeks since I have updated this thing. I really need to become more frequent with this because I really need to let things out of my head so they don't build up and tear me apart from the inside ( Read more... )

Ok....so it has been 62 weeks since my last update....wow, I haven't written in this thing in over a year. what on Earth did I do with my thoughts since I didn't write them down ( Read more... )