It took me at least ten minutes to stop screaming and pick up the putrid exploded squirrel, but now I'm the Eternal Champion. Bugs were crawling out of its black brain hole. Time for the moving race! Winner throws the party.

Chicago has lots of broken glass, sirens and urine puddles. I pitched a tent on the roof of the Sears tower. We were trapped in a mansion filled with money-eating calliopes, porcelain dolls and the world's largest carousel for five hours. Teaming up with Arend in Millennium Park today. The local saying 'round here is "what's the hustle, brah!" ( Read more... )

Today I put my room in boxes and yelled along to terrible lie over and over. Yesterday, Pattycake and I stayed up late to eat fancy chocolate and record two awesome songs. Pretty scatological.

Pat: I'm a shit slinging Christian maaaan.

I can't wait to go to Hobby Lobby with my g-ma tomorrow. Who wants a Jesus paint by numbers? I am wide awake but no one wants to go swimming this late.

I love summer because I get to lie on my back and eat pizza while watching 12 straight hours of Freaks and Geeks projected onto the wall. The tops of my feet are the only tanned part of my bod. Today we played the BSB board game, watched Mean Girls and saw the animatronic LBJ. I think he winked at me. Tomorrow morning I get my wisdom teeth ( Read more... )

Renee Robin Riddle is way rad. We called Travis and pretended that we already knew that it was his birthday, and I told him about my Zom dream in which Pat and Chad A. had a fist fight over who would get Travis' butt first. When I told them, Travis couldn't stop laughing, Pat was surprisingly grossed out, and Chad A. was totally non-plussed. At ( Read more... )

Dear Diary ( Read more... )

Comment with your name and I will write something about you ( Read more... )

Patrick Healy and I just couldn't stop laughing at the fact that we scared two dudes away with our pool nudity. Score.

"After the Holocaust, there will be like, roaches, Tammy Faye and Cher."

Why are all these dorks not wearing pants?