The free-whore lifestyle is a refined skill. The booth master has box-loads of samples, but he feels a deeper connection to company promotions and a greater sense of power if he performs a preliminary patience test on prospective recipients. This process eliminates the uncommitted free-loader and allows the truly persevering free-whore to rise ( Read more... )

The only thing worse than showing up early and not having anyone to talk to is showing up late with wet hair.

"Girls vs. Boys" was by far the most popular sport on the kindergarten playground back in the day, but I only played it once or twice. I was too intrigued by the quirkiness of Daniel to partake in such child's play. Daniel was this emotional kid that collected treasures from the soil. He had a prized collection of quartz rocks and chalk rocks ( Read more... )

Today at Thanksgiving Rehearsal I ate some bad Marie Calender's and played dominoes with my blind great uncle. He thought that Nick was a girl for half the night.

I really just want to take Latin American film and Experimental Keyboard. Why did they cancel Homosexuality in the 20th Century?

All you assholes that puked all over my floor and didnt help me clean it up for 12 straight hours owe me really really fucking big.

Do you have one of those cats that sleeps on your face? Well, he cant possibly compare with my Lutherian Lululululu and his soft,soft fur. He cracks nuts in the door jam and eats them! Take that for animal intelligence ( Read more... )

What kind of shoes do you wear with a white terry cloth romper?

Bowling alleys are like cockroaches. Both have endured the test of time. With the new smoking ban, Miss Rose predicts that Showplace Lanes will be the hot spot of the near future. There's booze, food and no last call. You just wait and see.

Found a wire hanger in my hair the other day. I wonder how long it had been there.