Im not sure if im going insane or what, i have no one i can talk  to anymore. My daughter is always worried about herself and her issues , my son is never here and im afraid that **** other grandmothers going to try to remove me from her live. i treat people nice  and i this is what i get. ... a dr who is convinced i have drug problems when i have ( Read more... )

I just wanted to wish u a happy brithday a little early and i hope to hear from u soon i love ya!

Its been a yr to the day that u left us kevin..i cant believe that u are gone...after all this time its still unreal to us all. We will never forget u and i hope today when we do the ashes ceremony that u are with us in every way and help me and the kids get through this to honor u and letting us move on from here safely and happily...i love u so ( Read more... )

I want to wish u a happy birthday asap..i know its coming up and i hope u are doing ok. The "widowes" club is one of the hardest ones to join...even if u were apart , i was too for a short while. I wish u happiness and i hope u are doing well hun!
I love u and please write very soon ok?
i love you sister...
u know who i am....
xoxox

Ok i'm here again with bad news..what else is new huh? the baby is gone now...they decided that they couldnt keep the baby so its been terminated now. the bond i had with the unborn child has been destroyed and no way toget it back...i'm so tired if having everything i love be gone in my life...whats next ...? I dont want to thik about it anymore ( Read more... )

Ok here we go....i found out today that i'm going to be a nanny again...no not a real nanny but a granddmother nanny! Canu fucking believe that shit? I am so blown away i dont know how to react...scared ,worried,happy ...all of them at once ( Read more... )

ok i'm back...hyperventilating and sad that its time to go home..how sad is that my friends?? I should be happy to go see the kids and the baby but i'm not sure ( Read more... )

As the day starts.. i feel bombarded with feelings..anger that i have to go home..but hope that i am going to do better then before. I am sad to see my parents for the last time ..at least for a while..but also hopeful this will start a new relationship with the kids and start  a better life for me. It so damn confusing that a 2 week vacation had ( Read more... )

Well its the end of my trip tomorrow and i hope i'm going to be ok when i get back..its going to be a struggle for sure! I have been a way learning new things here from my mother...my best teacher ..and i have tried to get the things i have learned in check to take home with me. Some think its stupid i'm sure that i am 46 now and still learning ( Read more... )

Wow night time again here in arizona...beautiful sunsets but sometimes lonely i dont want to leave this place but i know i have to.... i wish i could talk the kids into moving here but it will never happen. They have their friends and lives now...i wish i could go on with mine soon but it will take some time for that.
I want to thank u tho Az for ( Read more... )