Comments | roseletters: [Pinstripes] Reborn

roseletters

[Pinstripes] Reborn

Jan 09, 2010 11:54

Title: Reborn
Story/Character: Pinstripes / Seth, Elijah
Rating: PG-13 (violence)
word count: 3,299

Written for the brigits_flame prompt of "starting over".

( It was raining in the city, a seemingly endless cold season of drizzling wet and flat gray skies behind a backdrop of square, ugly buildings that left nothing to the imagination in their angular shapes and exposed brickwork. )

fic:scene, story:pinstripes

Comments 19

katden January 10 2010, 17:44:45 UTC

more_dragoncelt has given you a well deserved new title: Wordsmith.
Excellent job with the weaving of this tale! I see a few places where you could clean up your punctuation, nothing too major. If you are concerned with word count when editing later,you've done such a terrific job with set up you could skim a bit off the count without detracting from the richness of the story.
Definitely a great start for the New Year!

darthneko January 10 2010, 20:14:18 UTC

#^__^# Thank you! I definitely keep stumbling across punctuation or word replace flubs... I'm making notes. ^_^ I'm very glad it didn't come off as too heavy or slow moving. Thank you!

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roseletters January 12 2010, 13:52:33 UTC

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

rephen January 11 2010, 04:55:53 UTC

An intense piece, with very strong descriptions and just edge-of-the-seat pacing. Wonderful! .... The characters are amazing and breath their own. More of them, please! :D

roseletters January 12 2010, 13:53:30 UTC

Thank you so much! I'm going to try to do more with these two... there'll be more in this world for the next prompt, but unfortunately it skipped to a different set of characters in it. ^_^

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roseletters January 12 2010, 13:53:40 UTC

Thank you so much! ^_^

blythe025 January 11 2010, 20:39:51 UTC

The writing in this was fantastic. I found myself drawn in immediately with the deep visceral visuals that you provided. The description and the connection to the main character carried me through the story despite the length. I really enjoyed it.

roseletters January 12 2010, 13:53:56 UTC

Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it.