the same songs play on repeat. continuous reminders of how it has to be. i miss more than i thought i would. and its killing me.

i finally feel like my life has stopped spinning. here i am stopped and im left with a dizzy head ache and these thoughts. im trying my best to make things right and to be a better person. i started watching what i eat and i work out everyday. so im starting to feel better about myself. and that right there feels so good. when my head runs out of ( Read more... )

so john and i went with his mommy and tony to that body thing at the science center on Sunday. so fucking sweet. i wanted to steal the fetus! we watched the imax movie about the human body.....the movie kept displaying the body as the most amazing thing ever. backing up its facts by saying look how glorious or wondrous the human body is. in the ( Read more... )

flogging molly show last night! complete and utter drunkenness. we lost ian. john and i ate white castle. consuming white castle is only possible when under the influence.my speech so starts to go before my vision ( Read more... )

it will be mine. oh yes. it will be mine......


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today. i bought an electric guitar. it was a pretty good deal. i got the guitar for like 50 bucks and the amp for like 60. which isn't bad. the amp is good! but the guitar is a lil shitty.....just what i wanted. i donno....ive been practicing a lot and i seem to have picked up where i left off when i stopped playing in high school. between that and ( Read more... )

being a human being... this manufactured existence of morals and common understanding. PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS? i really wish i didn't carry this fear of the inevitable. whenever my mind is in a free wondering state it always settles in the thought of death. everything else around me just gets absorbed in the static. and our fate drowns out hope. if ( Read more... )

everything in my life seems like its put together quite nicely now a days. ive put down the chemicals that clouded my mind for so long,ive surround myself with people worth an existence, i have reasons now so many reasons..... so why do i still carry this feeling around?.....sometimes i feel like i hide. i feel like i hide from life. telling myself ( Read more... )

cant wait for the next couple of weeks to pass! the DEFTONES concert is on monday!! then i get some work done on my tattoo on wednesday which i need money for. i cant wait for more snow! i want to go sleding and snow boarding so bad!!!!!!!!!!!

as for now back to cleaning.

there has been way too much going on in my life lately. but at least im keeping busy now a days. dont get me wrong im a lazy fuck but....i still feel like i dont have enough time in a day to do everything i want. ummm....theres alot that im excited about. soon i will be going to florida to see shauna and the deftones. umm.. cant wait to see rise ( Read more... )