I am just so fucking lost.  I just keep getting stuck in trances where all I can think about is how I never have really trusted Tri all that much in our relationship anyway, ever since the Nikki thing; only for a short while where I was blind, that’s all.  I should have fucking gone with my instincts.  I just feel so foolish, b/c I know he’s still ( Read more... )

Xixi passed this morning at 5:18. mrow.

Xixi is dying, and has parvo & tapeworms, and is in a serious critical condition, so he's staying in the hospital for 3-7 days ( Read more... )

how big I've gotten and why I let it stay this way. I keep telling them it's b/c I'm lazy, but that's a lie. it's b/c I'm afraid of looking good. when i look good, shit happens to me: people use me, lie to me, take me for granted, etc. But when I'm overweight, I know that the people around me are truly genuine. it takes away the guessing game ( Read more... )

I swallowed my tongue piercing four nights ago & it still hasn't "passed"... I'm pretty sure that's what the pain in my chest is ... I go in for an X-Ray tomorrow morning.

This morning, I woke up next to my baby boy and we made love. We lied there, snuggling, holding eachother in our arms; intertwined legs and nuzzled noses, we were falling deeper, and deeper. Already unclothed, lying there in all vulnerability, we proceded to the shower .. together this time. The two of us in a tiny glass shower, washing ( Read more... )

So now I am crying. Tim and I just keep fighting and I do not know what for. I just want my check SO FUCKING BADLY so I can get THE HELL out of here!!! I want to go home, where I belong, where I fit, where people support me; I want to go to San Francisco. I want to be out where the sun is shining, I want to have a purpose. I want to get better ( Read more... )

i swear i talked to johnnie for EVER.. like 5 hrs.. it was quite intense, but isn't it always? there was a lot of crying, but all-in-all, I think it was the best that I have ever done at talking to him. I know that probably doesn't make sense to anyone else, but it makes sense to me. He told me he's still in love with me, surprise-surprise. EH ( Read more... )

Today I had an amazing day. I met with Resa today and it went so amazingly well! I found out that while I was in the hospital I was diagnosed with Severe Clinical Depression and Panic Disorder ... I didn't know I had that ( Read more... )

His name is Tri (aka: Tim), my Vietnamese co-worker ... he's 26, 27 on the 23rd of this month ... he has his own house .. he is gorgeous .. and what they say about Asian dick ... IS WRONG!!!!!!

He is my first Asian crush/boyfriend, and I am his first white crush/girlfriend.