His Will Too Weak - Chapter 3
Title: His Will Too Weak
Rating: PG-13 (Vulgar Language, Sexual References)
Genre: Drama/Romance/Angst/Black Humor/Supernatural
Pairings: Haehyuk
Length: 4 Chapters
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot, unfortunately.
Summary: Sometimes honest confessions don't always receive the best feedback, especially in the face of a new-found danger.
How much strength would it require to shove Donghae off of himself? Thoughts like this invaded Eunhyuk's mind as Donghae's fingers tightened around his shoulders. Just a little bit more, Eunhyuk estimated, maybe a little more force will do it.
“It's no use,” Donghae uttered in a low growl, “You'll never overpower me.”
Eunhyuk pushed hard against Donghae's chest, groaning as he exerted as much strength possible for his limits, to no purpose. Donghae was right, there was no way he could fight against him. Eunhyuk glared up at him with his sharp eyes, “I don't know what's wrong with you, but if this is a joke it's really not funny.”
“Hyukjae,” Donghae whispered against the others ear, “I'm not joking.”
Displeased by the familiar name, his real name, and the voice chanting it, Eunhyuk shifted his weight on his elbows against the surface of the table for support. “I don't know how you know my real name, or why you're calling me by it, but this is really starting to piss me off. Get off of me. Now.”
Donghae's eyes hardened on Eunhyuk, the depth of his eyes only deepening as each second passed. It was no illusion when Eunhyuk thought he could feel, no see, Donghae's pupil pumping with each beat of his heart.
“Lee Donghae-sshi,” Eunhyuk grounded out with what strength he had left, “I'm asking you to please... please... please dismount me.”
Donghae could sense the heat building in Eunhyuk's small frame, the blush creeping from his chest up to his cheeks. It didn't take long for the red tint, the tint of blood, to rush up and devour him whole. Unable to hide the grin tugging at his lips, Donghae merely leaned down and captured Eunhyuk's lips to his own. Their first kiss.
It also wasn't an illusion when Eunhyuk feel his entire body weaken the moment their lips met. If Donghae hadn't wrapped a hand around the back of Eunhyuk's neck, holding him in place, Eunhyuk would have definitely fallen back and slammed against the table he was held captive. It was as if the life was being sucked out of him... literally.
Suddenly, Donghae came to the realization of his actions. He immediately tore himself away, shouting and screaming at himself both mentally and physically, as he knelt in a corner of the room far away from Eunhyuk.
“What am I doing?!” Donghae asked himself, “Where has my sense gone?!”.
Eunhyuk lifted himself to sitting position, fixing the clothes that Donghae had, at some point, ripped and unbuttoned. He glanced over at Donghae through the darkness, barely able to spot him, as he bit his bottom lip nervously. Anxiety? No, perhaps it was actually a fear of some crazy sort.
“Are you mentally unstable by any chance? Split personalities? I've never encountered someone like this before, but I won't discriminate-”
Donghae fisted his hands as he stood. He backed up against the wall, facing Eunhyuk, as perspiration slid down his cheeks. His breaths were heavy, painful, as he forced himself to stay in place. “Are you that stupid?” Donghae mocked, “Mentally unstable? Would someone mentally unstable be able to absorb your health through a kiss? Would someone mentally unstable try to devour you, feed from you, force themselves on you with such ease?”
“Maybe you really should see a doctor,” Eunhyuk sighed. He tried to hop off of the table but fell directly to the ground, nearly slamming his head against the edge of the table. “I can't feel my legs,” He exclaimed, trying to massage the blood back into them.
Donghae tore his eyes away from the sight, afraid he would take advantage of the situation again. “Your energy should be fully regenerated in a few hours, generally depending on your health and recovery system.” Stepping towards the door, Donghae switched on the light to find a very surprised Eunhyuk staring at him.
“You-you're back to normal,” Eunhyuk gasped, “That's-”
Donghae swallowed his breath and held it before helping Eunhyuk into a chair, “It's not a miracle, I assure you. I simply rejuvenated my own health in exchange for the deterioration of yours. I was able to seize my feeding, fortunately, before I took your life.”
Eunhyuk remained silent.
“I would never lie to you, Hyukjae,” Donghae added, stepping towards the other man cautiously.
Eunhyuk peered up into Donghae's eyes. “I was right, wasn't I?”
“What?” Donghae asked.
Eunhyuk turned away, trying to avert his focus. The pain was too great, not from Donghae's so-called feeding, but the pain he experienced when searching into that almost familiar face. “You're not him.”
“Hyukjae-”
Eunhyuk silenced him by holding out his hands defensively, pushing Donghae away. “That's not my name anymore. No matter what you say, you're not him anymore. No matter how much you look like him, no matter how much of his memories you possess, you can't be him.”
Donghae took several steps back. “You're right. I'm not him, not anymore. He died too long ago, giving up on life, and all he had with it, because he was too weak. The will... did you read it?”
“Sungmin hyung read it to me,” Eunhyuk mindlessly replied, “but I ran out before he could finish. I tried on several occasions to finish the letter, but I always gave up at the same point.”
“Aren't you scared?” Donghae asked, looking down at himself.
Eunhyuk shook his head, “You can't hurt me any more than you already have.”
Donghae parted his lips to speak but swallowed his words forcefully. He wanted to reach out to Eunhyuk,so bad it hurt, he wanted to take his hands and pull him into his arms.
“Did you know?” Eunhyuk suddenly asked, “That the day you died, I ran after you?”
Donghae glanced over at Eunhyuk, who still had his head turned to the side.
“Even if you were to give up on your promise to me, even if you disregarded me and sought death for reprieve, I still wanted to be with you.” There were no sign of tears in Eunhyuk's voice; it was calm, flat, and almost serene. “If you came back, you should have at least came to see me. That's the least you could have done.”
Donghae shook his head, “I couldn't, I just couldn't bear to face you anymore. It was inevitable though, we found each other again by chance. Fate plays cruel games.”
“Only to cruel people,” Eunhyuk retorted.
Donghae tugged on Eunhyuk's arm, forcing Eunhyuk to face him. “But you're-”
“I've been just as cruel to myself as you were to me,” Eunhyuk interrupted.
Clutching his chest painfully, Donghae released Eunhyuk's arm and slammed his palm on the table. “Why are you so stubborn? I wasn't worth it, I wasn't worth you wasting your dreams, your goals, your future for. Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you so stupid?!”
“Because I fell in love with a monster.”
-
Shindong glanced up from his dinner plate nervously, throwing Sungmin several looks before the younger of the two finally nodded and took a seat beside their youngest brother.
“The storm finally calmed down again and you're looking a lot better now,” Sungmin commented, pouring a glass of strawberry milk for Eunhyuk. “Did you have a tough time at work today?”
Eunhyuk looked at his brothers before shrugging, “You could say that.”
“What happened?” Shindong impatiently asked.
Glaring at Shindong, Sungmin stabbed a piece of meat and tossed it onto Shindong's plate. “Don't mind him,” Sungmin smiled sweetly, “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Eunhyuk nodded, chewing on a piece of sausage, “Why do you ask?”
Sungmin shook his head, “Nothing.”
After Eunhyuk retreated to his room, the knocks he expected came no longer than three minutes later. “Yes, hyung?” He asked as Sungmin entered.
“Are you sure nothing's wrong?” Sungmin asked.
Eunhyuk contemplated the question before answering, “Well... maybe there's a little-”
“It has to do with Bada, doesn't it?” Sungmin interrupted.
Eunhyuk straightened in his bed, “How did you know?”
“Similar symptoms,” Sungmin shrugged. “I know you hate it when we mention him, but... he's been gone for so long, can't you just forget it?”
Eunhyuk fiddled with his fingers at his lap, “I met him again.”
“What?” Sungmin asked, bewildered, “What do you mean? He died-”
Eunhyuk hesitated before cutting his brother off. “If you believe me, if you believe in life after death, then you should believe it when I say he came back from the dead.”
“Have you finally gone mad?” Sungmin asked with a lifted brow. He made his way across the room and joined Eunhyuk on the bed. “I know you miss him and that it's hard to forgive him, but Eunhyuk, you have to let it go.”
“Why do you guys always tell me to let it go? I don't want to! I don't want to let go of anything that has to do with him. It was painful enough with him by my side, but then he left and it became unbearable! Now... now he's back, but the pain only continues to grow! He told me to let go of it all, too-”
“Eunhyuk!” Sungmin called out, pulling his younger brother by the shoulders. “Are you being serious?”
“I would never joke about such a thing,” Eunhyuk replied.
Sungmin pinched the bridge of his nose, “Oh gosh, what is Shindong hyung going to think about this craziness?”
“He doesn't have to know about it,” Eunhyuk shrugged.
Sungmin forced a smile and leaned back in the bed until he was facing the ceiling. “I remember Bada spent almost all day, everyday, with you. Sometimes you two would be in this room, but most of the time the two of you would be out in that dancing studio.”
“I remember,” Eunhyuk replied.
Sungmin nodded. “I also remember how he always had those headphones on, and would smile that childish grin whenever he saw Shindong hyung or myself. Probably to keep a good impression.”
“Yeah,” Eunhyuk laughed, “His smile was always popular amongst our classmates.”
“His disease took a lot away from him, I remember,” Sungmin added. “It stole his light, his spirit, his smile. No, not his smile. I remember he would always have that smile plastered all over his face in your presence.”
Eunhyuk's eyes began to tear and his nose grew sour, “I remember that, too.”
“Is his smile still the same?” Sungmin asked.
Eunhyuk shook his head, “He's not the same, not in the least. Nothing about him is anything like he used to be. His once long hair is now cut short, his boyish features are matured, his playful attitude turned solemn and stable, there's no more excitement in his eyes or thrill in his voice. But somehow, somehow you can tell it's still him.”
Sungmin nodded, “Considering he came back from the dead, changes are all but unexpected.”
“He almost killed me,” Eunhyuk admitted.
“What?” Sungmin scowled, “How could he-”
Eunhyuk shook his head, “He was dying again. His health... I watched as his face lost it's life, his hands started to stiffen and lost its temperature, his body cringing as he gasped for breath. I helped him into the lounge and closed the door. Suddenly, I felt something jump on me and pull me towards the table. H-he k-kissed me-”
“Your first kiss in years,” Sungmin teased.
“Hyung!” Eunhyuk scolded, “I felt the life being sucked out of me, I lost my strength and couldn't fight back. But suddenly, his eyes flashed and he pulled away.”
“You sound regretful,” Sungmin laughed.
Eunhyuk glared at his brother, “Did not!”
“Did he explain?” Sungmin asked.
Eunhyuk nodded. “He lives off of feeding on human energy.”
“I-I don't know what to think about that,” Sungmin admitted.
Shaking his head, Eunhyuk leaned his head back against the wall. “It doesn't matter, I told him everything I had to say.”
Sungmin nodded, “And what did he say?”
“He asked about the letter, then he told me I was stupid and that he wasn't worth it. He told me to just let everything go. Oh, he also asked me why was I such a fool and just wouldn't listen to him.”
Sungmin smiled weakly, “And your answer?”
“I told him I fell in love with a monster,” Eunhyuk laughed at himself awkwardly, “It's not entirely a lie.”
“No, not anymore at least,,” Sungmin laughed along. “Are you going to keep seeing him?”
Eunhyuk pursed his lips thoughtfully. “I don't have much of a choice.”
“Why?” Sungmin furrowed his brows.
Eunhyuk scratched his head, “I work for him.”
-
“You could have at least tried to cover your situation,” Yesung shook his head. He watched as Donghae fed on a beautiful young girl, one of the rare never-ending energy sources that served many creatures like them. She nodded in agreement with Yesung, causing Donghae to take hold of her chin in order to keep her lips in place.
Yesung shivered, “I've just come to realization of how unsanitary and unhygienic that can be. It's a good thing I have a personal feeding source, one that serves only me.”
“Hyung,” Donghae rolled his eyes as he wrapped up his feeding, “I didn't want to lie to him anymore.”
The girl cleansed her lips with a sheet of tissue, “Is he that important to you? You've been so... so apathetic all these years, it's odd seeing you like this.”
“Tha's not it-” Donghae was about to explain when Yesung cut him off short.
“I suggest you don't lie to us either, Donghae,” Yesung narrowed his eyes. “Blowing your own cover puts you in danger, you know that.” Donghae nodded. “You also know that he's probably frightened of you; he'll probably quit working for you and cut off all ties with you, right?”
Donghae shook his head, “He wasn't afraid of me.”
“It's impossible,” Yesung scoffed, “He's only human.”
Scrunching his brows together as if he was in severe pain, Donghae shook his head again. “He told me he wasn't scared, he told me that I couldn't hurt him anymore than I already have.”
“Dramatic,” Yesung laughed, “How bad could you have hurt him?” Donghae remained silent. “I know he means a lot to you, Donghae, but the past is the past...”
The girl glanced between the two non-humans standing before her. She gathered her belongings while heading for the door. “Sometimes, injuries from the past will only continue to haunt you until things are solved once and for all. Humans hold grudges, remember that.”
“We were once human,” Yesung retorted as he watched her close the door behind herself. “Those grudges... we still hold them after death.”
Donghae looked outside his window, catching sight of Eunhyuk walking through the parking lot towards the building. “If only I could have taken him to the grave with me,” He gritted his teeth, “If only I could have been a little more selfish.”
“Would he still love you like he did if you took him with you?” Yesung asked. Donghae shrugged, his eyes softening as Eunhyuk stepped closer. “No, Donghae, don't try to fool yourself with such stupidity. If you took him with you to your deathbed, he possibly would have hated you the same, or even more than he does now.”
Donghae tore his eyes away from the window and blinked at Yesung. “I'd rather have him hate me but always be by my side than to have him hate me, yet, always being so distanced and unreachable.”
“Love really does make a fool out of people,” Yesung shook his head. They both glanced over at the entrance upon hearing Eunhyuk knocking on the door, “Here comes your weakness.” The door slid open and Eunhyuk stepped inside with his head bowed low.
A smile spread on Donghae's lips as he watched Eunhyuk enter. “No, he was always my strength,” He replied, looking over at Yesung, “I'm my own weakness."
Chapter 2 | Chapter 4 [END]