I have given up on talking to my grandmother. What is the point of talking to someone if you have to repeat yourself 4-5 times?

Awkward you say? I will tell you something awkward. Have you ever made eye contact with your dog while it was taking a crap? Now thats awkward. Whats up with the look the dog is giving you? Is the dog guilty? Hell it should be. I mean come on, Why should I feel guilty for watching my dog taking a shit,that is attached to me through a restraint ( Read more... )

Dear Patrick ( Read more... )

So I was watching the tube, and I happend to stumble across comedy central, which is usually a good thing. However, that was not the case. The show you might ask? The Roasting of the one and only "I have more STDs than africa" Pamela Anderson. Why in the hell would anyone want to roast her, and who in their right minds would watch that bullshit? To ( Read more... )

Walker texas Ranger rules, that show gets me so pumped. I mean, he will be just chilling there in a bar minding his own business and then some dude busts out an SMG and he just kicks him in the face! That is AWESOME! And please show me another show that has a BLACK cowboy in TEXAS! Now that is awesome. Not only is he a cowboy, but he also has NINJA ( Read more... )

USPS can suck my dick. Are Idiots the only ones that fucking work there? So today, it was POURING the entire day, it actually flooded all over the KC metro area. So the big fat mailman comes and delivers the mail, which is fine, pros to him for doing it in the rain. Here is the catch though, he also delivered a package...in the rain and left it ( Read more... )

OMG so like today my mom like woke me up at like 10AM, I mean come on mom I AM 19 YEARS OLD!!! I dont need this shit!! theeen she made me go shopping! UGH!!!! and is making buy a new computer UGH!!! what a bitch! GOD I HATE MY PARENTS!!!

^Just making fun of some people.

You know, The restaurant, Applebee’s, needs a name change. You know what the name should be changed to? Soggybee’s. Why? Because everything they fucking make, comes out soggy and gross, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS ( Read more... )

Dear Patrick ( Read more... )

Since toast always lands jellyside down and cats always land on their feet, we need to combine them. Put the toast jellyside up strapped to the cat and it will create perpetual centrifugal motion of a spinning cat toast machine.We could easily link NY to LA with this infinite energy source.I am pretty sure they made a movie based on this called The ( Read more... )