sorry its been so long since the last post. i guess you could say i've been busy. i guess you could say i've been having a life. (who knew, right?) well jeff has been having his ups and downs. I love it when he's on his ups because then he'll get to talking. He'll actually forget about our drunkard of a dad and he'll be able to smile and laugh ( Read more... )

my dad is gone now. i woke up this morning to the sound of coffee grinding and my brother blasting his "led zeppelin" cd. when i went downstairs my mom had acted as if nothing happened. She was so convincing that if it wasn't for the huge bruise around her eye, i might have forgotten all about last night, but there was no avoiding it. at first she ( Read more... )

I think my dad became a full-blown alcoholic when jeff was diagnosed with cancer. before then he would keep the drinking down to a minimal, but since jeff has never been his old self, and my mom hasn't been her old self since she's been doing nothing but preoccupying herself with jeff, my father consoled himself with alcohol. he couldn't find love ( Read more... )

When Jeff and I were kids, we were the best of friends. we played hide-and-go-seek, tickled each other for hours until we peed our pants, and we used those wild imaginations that every child has. When jeff started going to school, he made some new friends, and of course i got jealous. it was only natural. 2 years later i went to kindergarten, jeff ( Read more... )

i have no life. and the little life that i do manage to scrape up consists of taking care of jeff and mom. jeff keeps getting worse and worse. i'm scared for him. and mom too. watching jeff slowly die deteriates everybody's soul. it's bad enough watching jeff suffer, but it depresses me seeing how mom deals with it. she's like a picasso painting. ( Read more... )

sorry i haven't updated in awhile, i've just been so busy with jeff and mom. not to mention my dad breathing down our necks, more like shouting i suppose. well i just thought i'd update, even thought there's no real purpose. i don't know, this is stupid. sometimes i think why not just keep a real journal that no one is allowed to read. well i guess ( Read more... )

I've decided to abandon my other LJ. i only have 1 friend, and i don't think she read it anyway. so i'll just use this one, but instead no one will know about it. yes, i prefer typing a lot more than writing. well jeff is calling, i should go.

my love has come along ( Read more... )

today wasn't such a terrible day. i told my mom to get out of the house for a change to do some shopping. i was glad to do it since i ALWAYS do the shopping, and i'm sure it was a break for my mom from taking care of jeff. i hadn't talked to jeff in the longest time, i mean really TALKED. it was good being with him, and it reminded me of when we ( Read more... )

i just can't. family life at home is SO awful. it's hard for me to comprehend right now, but i'm sure there is someone out there who knows what i'm experiencing; the pain i have to endure. i can't even get out of the house. work is my savior; the dairy queen isn't the ideal job, but at least it's something. no one even acknowledges me there either ( Read more... )