All this self-discovery shit is exactly that, shit. Why am I doing this again? What is the purpose of diving into my psyche? Oh yeah, to be a better person, let go of the past, nurture my inner child, insert more new age bullshit here. We admitted that we were powerless over drugs/alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. But will I ( Read more... )

I feel bereft. Confused, lonely, misplaced and slow. Like I am waking up from a dream. In that state of consciousness where you are still half asleep. What is real? I need direction. A creative jump-start. A muse. Some trauma. Writer's block is like suffocation to me. I would rather be burned alive. Kill me slowly, then maybe I will have ( Read more... )

I watched Prozac Nation last night starring Christina Ricci, if you get a chance to see it, don't. It was supposed to be based on the book by Elizabeth Wurtzel, it wasn't even closely connected. I can't figure out what they were trying to do with it. There were characters in the movie that were in the book, there were some key phrases, taken ( Read more... )

I finally got my Halloween costume. I am going to be the cutest Little Red Riding Hood in the whole world...just kidding, but I may be the sluttiest! It has been a good week, with the exception of yesterday, more later. On Sunday I conquered one of my biggest fears, yes folks, I did it, I sang karaoke. Totally sober I may add, and I must admit ( Read more... )

I put in my application at Rosedale, my boss wants me to take the full time position there at the Rodan and Fields counter. The whole thing sounds like a lot of work to me, but I guess I will manage. I need the extra money if I am ever going to live on my own again. I really need to get out of here. I love my dad and enjoy spending time with ( Read more... )

Well, I didn't get lost in the Big Apple, as hard as I tired I couldn't shake the fam, they were following too close. Had a great time though, it was nice to see that Jen and Adam are doing well, hungry, but well. I am proud of my brother, doing it on his own, even when the whole world seems to think he should give up, he doesn't. I admire his ( Read more... )

Tomorrow morning we leave for New York! Yeah!!! Now we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief as my father and I make the trek out to check on my lil' bro's well being. Of course I am looking at this trip as a TRIP and my father is looking at it as offspring maintenance I am sure, however I intend to fully enjoy myself and relax. I need a ( Read more... )

Is it mean to tell someone that they landed on your doorstep with too many packages? Too much luggage. God, this man came with truckloads of baggage and at first I was able to look past it, but my lord, now that the trucks are unloading I have come to realize just how much there really is. At least I had the "talk" with him about the kids. I am ( Read more... )

How do I manage to find all the lost souls of the world that are in need of salvation? Do i look anything like a saint? Do I look like I really care? Do I look like I am even close to being capable of doing anything about it? What about me shows you that I have anything important to add to the otherwise poor quality of your existence? And even ( Read more... )

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