Small pieces of my heart ( Read more... )

What is it in me that craves dissention? It must be the addict mindset. Now that I have everything I've ever wanted, I want to run from the peace and serenity. Not every day, just today. And that's okay, one day at a time. Today I want the chaos back. I want the hurt and I want the pain, and I want the uncertainty. My mind wanders into ( Read more... )

I am sitting in the house that will soon be half mine. The house, and the cars and everything in it. That's weird. I've never been with anyone before that actually has things to share with me. And he actually wants to share these things with me. All my life I longed for the fairy tale. I dreamed of this. When I was in relationships I hated ( Read more... )

I figured out that it's okay to be vulnerable, it's beautiful to be vulnerable ( Read more... )

Could it be that I am the one with the issue? I am the one that has a hard time with love, commitment, emotional intimacy? I keep looking at the past, at all these lost "loves" and I can easily point the finger at all of them. I can find fault. But it is not my judgment to pass. I am the one that is afraid. I am the one that is scared of ( Read more... )

How much can really be said in a kiss? How much can be learned from a glance, a touch, a whisper? I vacillate between the idea of love being all consuming and love simply not existing. As an artist I need that rush, I need that uncertainty that love and loss bring. I never knew who I was, until I found my fear. Until I spent a moment alone ( Read more... )

We are on a "break". We have broken up. We decided that it would be a good idea to break up for 2 weeks to get a handle on what we really wanted. We decided to reconvene in 2 weeks to see if more time is needed. I was concerned about the blatant co-dependence and insecurity he had, he was concerned I did not love him enough. I am concerned that ( Read more... )

Well the snow is here. I hate winter. Hate is a strong word...I really dislike being cold. It makes me want to curl up and die. My boyfriend and I are having troubles. Is it normal to bicker so much? He is making an attempt to try and make me happy, but I don't know if I can be made happy. I am disenchanted. I feel like molasses. I can not ( Read more... )

Self-examination is dangerous. The more I reconfigure my psyche, the more conscious I become. I am starting to notice the unhealthy thought patterns I have established over the years and they are no longer second nature. I catch myself now, before I am able to react involuntarily, and am forced to make changes, or at least to weigh the ( Read more... )

A regular at the club last night overheard me talking about spiritual warfare and said that God must be speaking through me to her. Wow. That seems like a lot of responsibility. Not that I mind. God is perfectly welcome to speak through me anytime he chooses. I just hope it doesn't get convoluted in the poison brain juices. It made me want to ( Read more... )