Take Me There for beastlyshine 6/7

[madelyn93]

On Thursday, Chanyeol manages to find time to have lunch with Minseok in one of the restaurants just a few minutes from his own University. Minseok is searching for a new job, looking rather frustrated and tired when he talks about how hard it is while picking out tomatoes from his salad, and it makes Chanyeol wonder.

He's not going to work at the record store forever, and if he's lucky, he'll be able to graduate university soon enough and get a job at a hospital, but like Jongin sometimes remarks, Chanyeol is maybe too clumsy to be a doctor. It doesn't suit him. He's not bad when it comes to studying, but it's very hard, too.

"I keep talking about myself," Minseok says, frowning. "How are you doing?"

Chanyeol shrugs, flicking out the beans in his own chicken salad and puts more Rhode Island dressing in it. "I'm good," he says, and he thinks of Joonmyun and his hugs. His cheeks pulls up and he's smiling down at his salad as something tugs in his chest. It's a good tug. "I'm actually very good."

With eyebrows raised, Minseok asks, "Did something good happen?"

"I guess." Joonmyun always makes tea for both of them after dinner, and Chanyeol thinks about them sitting on the couch, legs all tangled with each other's, and Chanyeol burning his tongue on the warm tea almost every time. He thinks of the frown on Joonmyun's forehead when he asks if Chanyeol's okay, worrying more than he should. "Someone good happened."

It just sort of slips out, and he looks up to Minseok with wide eyes, but then calms. It's Minseok, after all.

"Oh, I see you finally found yourself a girl," Minseok laughs and Chanyeol licks his upper lip at that. "I thought of introducing you to Hyeri, she's actually lovely but--"

"Actually," Chanyeol cuts in and pulls a face as he isn't sure how to tell Minseok that it's a boy, and it's Joonmyun. "I... Joonmyun is what happened."

Minseok's eyes widens and he looks lost for a minute, as if he's trying to register the words, mouth slightly open, but then he breaks into a big smile. "I see," he hums, "I see. I was surprised, but..." he looks up at Chanyeol with soft eyes, "you know, you should have told hyung earlier. I kept teasing you about not having a girlfriend."

"It was always amusing," Chanyeol says, smiling, and he feels a ticklish feeling in his stomach, because Minseok is still the same towards him after hearing this. He hadn't expected a dramatic reaction, because Minseok has never been on that side, he's more of a calm person, but he's relieved.

They continue to eat their salads without really enjoying the food, while talking, and both decide that next time they go out for lunch, they will go to a hamburger place instead of eating salads.

*

"Jesus," Jongin says, when he arrives at 'Heart Attack' and throws Chanyeol a glare, who is half-lying on the couch, having his back leaned against Joonmyun's chest. Joonmyun's arms are around him, hands locked, and chin against Chanyeol's shoulder. Chanyeol sticks out his tongue at Jongin. "You are so childish, I'm going to throw up."

"He's the child here," Chanyeol snarls, when Jongin makes his way to Zitao and Sehun instead. Joonmyun releases his arms around Chanyeol and instead plays with his hair. No one is really around right now, except them, and the band. A few adults are seated far away by the windows, too deep in their conversation to notice the way Chanyeol takes Joonmyun's hand and leaves faint kisses on his wrist. "This is so nice," he sighs.

Joonmyun laughs, and it makes Chanyeol get goosebumps, because his breath is hot on Chanyeol's neck and he wants to turn around to catch Joonmyun's lips but that would be stepping over the line. He settles with putting Joonmyun's hand flat on his stomach and closes his eyes.

"I'm going to sleep for a while," Chanyeol says, and by a while, he means until more people arrive and they have to sit up properly and keep their hands to themselves. "Don't disappear when I open my eyes," he adds quietly and he doesn't know where that came from, but he tries to make it sound light-hearted by adding a small chuckle. Joonmyun notices something, though, and starts to trace circles on his tummy.

Joonmyun kisses his hair quickly. "I'll be right here."

Chanyeol believes these words more than anything before slipping into a dreamland for a while, where he is thirteen and he is back home with his sisters, and his dad is also there, while their mom is making dinner. Although asleep, he can still feel the warmth of Joonmyun's hands, and he manages to hold back the tears.

*

October is double as cold as September, and Chanyeol remembers to wrap a thick scarf around Joonmyun's neck before they go out to pick a present for Yixing. His birthday is today, and they will be having dinner at Kris' place to celebrate later tonight. Yixing had said he'd rather be at someone else's place than his own, and no one had asked why. Chanyeol knows it's his parents, but he'd put a hand on Yixing's shoulder instead of saying anything.

They don't hold hands, but Chanyeol presses himself close to Joonmyun, as they wander from store to store. "I don't even know what he likes," Joonmyun says, stuffing his hands in his pockets and hides half of his face behind the scarf. It's even cold in the galleria, and Chanyeol wraps one arm around his boyfriend to keep him warmer. "He never tells me, and when I ask, he just says 'anything is fine'. This is hard."

Chanyeol finds Joonmyun's hand in his pocket, and warms it with his own, leaning his head against Joonmyun's. They're a little too close now, but Chanyeol figures that he doesn't care right now. Joonmyun is trembling. He should have put on one of his sweaters, but instead he is dressed in a thin, white shirt. Chanyeol thinks he looks really handsome in it, but Joonmyun is freezing right now.

"Maybe we should give him money?" Chanyeol suggests slowly.

"No," Joonmyun shakes his head. "He would hate it. You know how he is."

"I know," he sighs. "We could give him clothes."

"A scarf?" Joonmyun says, looking down at his own. "He doesn't have one, and he would really need it."

They do find a warm, and thick scarf after one hour of looking around in all the stores and are now walking out of the galleria, close to each other but hands in their own pockets.

*

It is during dinner when Chanyeol receives the call from his sister. He looks at the screen for a long time, and Baekhyun snaps at him to wake up and just answer the call because the ring tone is annoying. He excuses himself, and pulls back his chair to stand up, giving Joonmyun a look before going out to the living room to answer it. He hasn't talked to Yura, hasn't had a conversation, in a very long time and his thoughts are a mess as he answers, trying to figure out what to talk about.

"Hi," he says, and he wishes he could've said it a little bit louder. He's still surprised by the sudden call.

"Hello, Chanyeol," she says, and he almost doesn't recognize her voice. He smiles, because it's just as deep as his own. They are very alike. He's forgotten about that. "How is my little brother?"

It's very comfortable, how she talks lightly and asks him questions like they haven't not talked in months, and how she complains about the weather there like they call each other every day. He is confused, but tries his best to answer her questions, and also asks back once in a while. They've been talking in fifteen minutes when Joonmyun comes up to him and puts a hand on his shoulder. He doesn't say anything, but only smiles at Chanyeol.

"Noona," he says, looking at Joonmyun, whose eyes widens before it is replaced by a wider smile. "I've missed you."

There is a moment of silence, and then she laughs. It sounds like a very happy laughter, and Chanyeol grips Joonmyun's hand. "I've missed you, too," she says. "Let's talk more."

They hang up, and Chanyeol puts his phone in his pocket before tugging Joonmyun closer by the wrist to put his long arms around him. He hugs Joonmyun so tight that Joonmyun has to pull away for a while to catch air.

"I'm sorry," Chanyeol says, grinning.

Joonmyun shakes his head, "I'm glad you guys are talking to each other," he whispers and pulls Chanyeol's head down by putting his hand on the back of Chanyeol's neck, and gives him a soft kiss right on the mouth. Chanyeol sighs, and parts his lips for Joonmyun to find his way inside, and they kiss slowly, before Chanyeol pulls him even closer and slides his tongue across Joonmyun's lower lip. He stops when Joonmyun starts to chuckle against his lips, and it tickles.

Chanyeol shudders. "What?"

Joonmyun's nose brushes against his own and he tilts his head to lick the corner of Joonmyun's lip, pressing their mouths together for another quick kiss. "Nothing," Joonmyun says, "it felt funny, is all." Chanyeol catches his lips again, and his chest flutters by the thought that Joonmyun's soft lips are his, and this is really happening.

"What are you guys doing?" Sehun shouts from the kitchen, and Chanyeol jumps at the sudden voice.

Chanyeol hears how Baekhyun snorts loudly. "What do you think they're doing?" he says but Sehun is already sticking his head out to the living room and frowns at the sight of Joonmyun's hands already under Chanyeol's t-shirt.

"Oh my god, can't you guys wait until after dinner?"

"He does taste a little like barbeque," Chanyeol says, licking his swollen lips and wiggling his eyebrows when he grabs Joonmyun's wrist to walk back to the kitchen.

"I don't actually believe that I'm having people like you all at my house," Kris snarls. "Making out in my living room, don't do that."

"You made out with your girlfriend in my bathroom once," Jongdae shoots back, while cutting up his steak, and Kyungsoo bursts out laughing while Yixing laughs even louder. Baekhyun shakes his head and Jongin only frowns. "What was her name again? Jessica? She was hot. Too bad she dumped you after that."

"That is disgusting," Sehun says, but then Zitao leans down to wipe away sauce on the corner of his lips, and he flushes red. Zitao snickers.

"You all are disgusting," Kris says, gulping down his drink and shoots Jongdae a glare. "One more word about that day and I'll slam the steak in your face."

Jongin pretends to put his arms around Jongdae's neck like he's strangling him and Jongdae plays along, sticking out his tongue, and making dying noises. Yixing throws fries at them but he's still laughing. Kris looks miserable, and Kyungsoo slides his hand up and down his back while biting back his own laughter.

Chanyeol is the loudest, making whale-like noises and clapping his hands, and when he calms down, he catches Joonmyun looking at him with an amused expression. "What is it?"

"Nothing much," Joonmyun tells, and he slides his hand over Chanyeol's under the table. He leans closer to flick away the hair that falls on Chanyeol's eyes with another hand, and whispers, "I was just thinking how lucky I am right now."

Something swells up in Chanyeol chest and he squeezes Joonmyun's hand when he pulls back, and he hopes that Joonmyun hears the I'm happy to have you that his heart calls out.

*

"Yura told me you both talked last week," his mother says on the phone, her voice happy and Chanyeol smiles as he flips another page in the medical book. He's been studying for hours now, and is taking a small break, although still trying to read, because his mother called.

The tests are coming up one by one before Christmas break, and he barely has time to meet Joonmyun, who is also busy with studying. They do make dinner plans at least twice in a week, and sometimes Chanyeol studies at the library where Joonmyun works at, so they can hold hands under the table. He studies better that way, even though it's a little distracting how he wants to hold Joonmyun instead, because the way he smiles still makes Chanyeol's chest swell with happiness and he doesn't think this feeling will stop soon.

"We did," he says to his mom now, and closes the book. He's hungry. "And she just called me yesterday, too."

"I'm very glad."

"Me, too," he says and he hears her smile.

*

Sometimes Joonmyun comes by with food and they end up cuddling on the couch, talking about books instead of studying, but Chanyeol likes those moments, because their hands are always intertwined and it feels like their hearts are connected, beating for only each other, and he thinks he doesn't want anything more than this. But sometimes, an image of a whole family appears in his mind, and he looks at Joonmyun with sad eyes.

That's when Joonmyun leans up to put their lips together, because he understands. He always does, and Chanyeol feels a little selfish for craving more than just holding Joonmyun's hand. Joonmyun tells him he's not, and Chanyeol always feels better.

*

Chanyeol almost forgets that it's his birthday, when he wakes up to messages from Joonmyun, Jinri, Yura and Minseok telling him happy birthday! and before he even registers it, his phone is beeping and it's his mom. He smiles, one hand rubbing his eye and another pushing the 'answer' button.

"Good morning," he says, yawning, as he forces himself to stand up.

The floor is cold and he shivers. First lesson starts in about a half hour and he has to catch the bus that leaves in fifteen minutes, yet he just wants to crawl back in bed and forget all about medicines and instead listen to his mother's warm voice singing him the birthday song. Which she is right now. He grins widely, and the weariness is gone, almost.

"Thank you, mom."

"This year's winter is cold," she says, and he can imagine in front of him, being ten years old again and they're standing by the door, she's buttoning his jacket and then gives him a hug before he goes to school.

Chanyeol never dresses well when it's winter. Until Joonmyun, who takes him out to buy a thicker jacket and winter shoes as soon as November arrives, and worries all the time in messages if he's caught a cold or not. Joonmyun never wears a scarf, though, and Chanyeol always has an extra scarf in his backpack, if Joonmyun ever forgets. It's become a habit to pull Joonmyun close in the middle of the streets when Chanyeol notices that his neck is bare, just to wrap a scarf around it.

"I dress very warmly," Chanyeol finally says. He thinks of Joonmyun's hand in his and the warmth that spreads in his chest every time Joonmyun smiles at him. "I have a hyung who takes care of me."

His mom only laughs and tells him that it's nice to hear, and Chanyeol is surprised she doesn't ask who that is. Maybe she already knows. And that, he decides, is okay.

*

"I'm sorry for making you work on your own birthday," Yixing says, an apologetic smile on his lips as he pats Chanyeol's back.

He'd gotten a call from Yixing during the day, asking him if he could take over his shift because he has something urgent to do, and Chanyeol had said yes without thinking much about it. Birthday or not, it always feels just like a normal day, anyway. He's never thought of it as more special, so he shrugs at Yixing and gives him a grin.

"I'm fine," Chanyeol assures him. "I didn't have plans anyway."

Yixing throws his backpack over his shoulders and raises his eyebrows. "No cheesy dinner with Joonmyun?"

Chanyeol laughs, "We're having dinner at home later."

He waves at Yixing when he goes out of the shop and then picks up his backpack to take out a book, flipping it to the page where the corner is folded. He doesn't get the chance to read through one page when his phone beeps loudly, and he quickly reaches for it, thinking that it’s Joonmyun. It’s an unknown number, though, and he frowns as he answers the call.

“Hello?”

“Chanyeol,” a familiar voice says, deep and hoarse, and Chanyeol holds his breath because this can’t be him. It’s been years. He’d stopped calling when Chanyeol turned fourteen. “It’s dad. Happy birthday.”

*

He barely remembers his father's face, as he's been spending years avoiding to look at pictures of him. However, he does remember their last conversation, when he was fourteen, and recalls it in his head once in a while just to feel glass shards against his heart.

The last time they talked on the phone was on his birthday. The conversation had been short, barely a minute, and he was the one calling.

"It's my birthday today," Chanyeol had whispered quietly into the phone. He was standing in the bathroom, just a little boy who was needing a simple happy birthday from his father, while he had a mother who was baking a cake for him in the kitchen. He swallowed down his tears.

There is a sigh, and Chanyeol hears how paper rustles, and there is a pencil scribbling down something. He think he hears a faint baby crying somewhere in the background and his throat is dry.

"Dad, I'm fourteen now," he tries again when his father doesn't answer, and he barely even hears himself now. Chanyeol is afraid that his voice will crack, that it will reveal how fragile he is, now already fourteen and close to tears because of such a petty thing. If his father was there, he would have told Chanyeol straight away that boys don't shed tears that easily.

"Chanyeol, I'm busy," his father had said at last. He wasn't even trying to sound apologetic. Chanyeol hadn't expected it either, but it still stung. "Now, have a nice day with your mom, and don't call me again if I don't call you, do you understand? I'll try to call you more, but I have a lot to do. Be good, Chanyeol."

Chanyeol had stood in the bathroom with the phone still pressed to his ear, even though his father had long cancelled the call and it's only beeping now in the midst of silence and choked sobs. He was struggling to hold back the tears and refused to come out despite his mom worriedly asking him what he was doing in there. He only stepped out minutes later when there was nothing to hold back anymore, hand clutching onto the phone.

His father never called back, and instead, it was always Yura who came up with excuses and saying "Dad misses you, Chanyeol" but he knew very well there was no such thing.

He turned seventeen when he stopped caring and when asked where his dad were, he would say 'I don't know' because that made people close their mouth and shove their questions down their throat.

*

"Are you feeling sick somewhere?" Joonmyun asks, putting down his chopsticks and reaches up to put his palm against Chanyeol's forehead. Chanyeol wishes he could smooth away the worried frown on Joonmyun's forehead whenever it appeared. "You're a little bit warm..."

Chanyeol shakes his head and takes Joonmyun's hand to put it down before cupping his hands around Joonmyun's cheeks. "Hyung, I'm fine. Just tired. Thank you so much for the dinner." He looks down at the bowl of Vietnamese noodles and feels bad for not eating with enough enthusiasm. "It tasted really good but..."

"It's okay," Joonmyun says, and pats Chanyeol's cheek with a soft smile. "Now, why don't you go brush your teeth and change into comfortable clothes? I'll just clean up here before going to bed, too. Maybe you lack sleep."

That is not true because Chanyeol had been sleeping better than he's ever had in a long time after dating Joonmyun, but he can't find enough energy to say that out loud that right now. He stands up and does as said after pulling Joonmyun in for a quick hug. He smiles tiredly when Joonmyun tells him happy birthday again.

"Sorry for sleeping over all the time," Chanyeol says but Joonmyun only hits his butt and pushes him towards the bathroom.

Chanyeol brushes his teeth and cleans his face quickly while thinking back about the short call he had with his father, and stumbles into Joonmyun's bedroom. He tugs off everything except for boxers even though it's cold and throws the sheets over himself when he lies down on the bed. He inhales. It smells so much like Joonmyun.

He's is already half-asleep when arms wrap themselves around his waist carefully and there is a head against his back. Chanyeol forces his eyes open and turns around, so that he can put his own arms and legs around Joonmyun, pulling him closer. He bores his nose in Joonmyun's hair, drawing him even closer.

"Did something happen?" Joonmyun asks quietly, rubbing his palm soothingly up and down Chanyeol's back. Chanyeol relaxes into the touch and slowly nods. "Do you want to tell me?"

Chanyeol smiles faintly, and breathes into Joonmyun's hair. "I might fall asleep." Joonmyun chuckles. "But my father called me today." He starts playing with Joonmyun's soft hair, running one hand through it with closed eyes. "It's my first time talking to him in almost seven years."

Joonmyun fits his head in the crook of Chanyeol's neck and it tickles a little when he breathes but Chanyeol feels good. "That is a long time," Joonmyun says softly and his voice vibrates against Chanyeol's skin. "What did you talk about?"

"Last time we talked," Chanyeol says quietly, "he'd told me he was busy when all I wished for was for him to tell me 'happy birthday'. This time, he called me to say the exact same thing, except I'm twenty-one now and not fourteen. So I was surprised, of course." He pauses when Joonmyun lifts his head to leave a sloppy kiss on Chanyeol's lips to calm him. He realizes he's been trembling. "I was angry, too. So I said 'thank you but I'm busy right now' and hung up." He laughs dryly. "Is that childish?"

"You were upset," Joonmyun responds. "It's okay. It doesn't matter if you're twenty-one and not fourteen. If you're hurt, then you're hurt."

"I feel better now, though," Chanyeol says, and Joonmyun smiles.

His hands are warm against Chanyeol's bare skin and Chanyeol leans down to kiss him lazily, tongue roaming over Joonmyun's lips before he slips in and tastes Joonmyun's minty toothpaste. He probably tastes the same, too, he thinks, when Joonmyun crawls on top of him and he lifts Joonmyun's t-shirt up to his belly. He leaves faint kisses down his pale, soft stomach until he reaches the waistband of Joonmyun's boxers before taking the t-shirt off properly and lets it slide to the ground.

But Joonmyun grabs both Chanyeol's hand, kisses him wet on the lips once before lying down next to him again. Chanyeol looks at him with a frown although his eyes are on their way to shut. "You're very tired," Joonmyun says and Chanyeol laughs.

"I am," he admits, and it doesn't take long before he falls asleep, with their legs all tangled, bare chests pressed together under sheets and heart beating in sync.

*

Chanyeol spends three days waiting for his phone to vibrate in his pocket under lessons, and stares at it if he's at home, perhaps waiting for a call even though he doesn't know what to say. After the fourth day, and there is no phone calls or messages from his father but only Yura, Chanyeol stops caring again. He'd never expected it, although waiting for it, so he isn't disappointed.

*

Chanyeol is studying for the last exam when the first snow of the year falls and Baekhyun's managed to finally get a date with Taeyeon two days before Christmas Eve. Chanyeol can't concentrate on all the words in front of him when Baekhyun keeps talking about it where he is lying on the bed.

"She is really great," Baekhyun says with a small sigh and Chanyeol frowns. "Her voice is angelic."

"Can't you talk to Jongin or Minseok hyung about how lovesick you are instead?" Chanyeol groans, scratching his head. "Or maybe even Kyungsoo. I'm actually studying."

Baekhyun mutters something and before Chanyeol can register what that is, he is hit in the neck by a pillow and lets out a loud ow!. He glares at Baekhyun.

"You are a horrible friend," Baekhyun says and Chanyeol pulls a face. "Do you need help with anything?"

"You wouldn't understand," Chanyeol says, sighing as he turns his attention back to the thick book and rubs his eyes. "You're not a med student, even."

"I'm thinking of changing majors," Baekhyun says, voice suddenly quiet and Chanyeol turns his head around to look at him with raised eyebrows. "My parents wants me to study business instead of music. Of course they want to." He rolls his eyes. "I'd expected it anyway."

"Are you changing, then?" Chanyeol asks, putting his chin in his palm.

Baekhyun shrugs. "I don't know," he says. "What would you do?"

Chanyeol thinks about. He doesn't think he's the right person to answer since he's a person who'd picked to study medicines instead of learning how to write songs, because of his own father's wishes. A father who is not even by his side to support him - has not been by his side in a very long time.

"I, of all people, wouldn't know," he finally answers and they stare at each other for a long time before Baekhyun's phone rings, and Chanyeol goes back to studying.

*

Winter break arrives with coldness that cuts at the cheeks, but it's warm, where Chanyeol is huddled up on the floor between Yixing and Jongdae with Joonmyun lying with head against his chest and Jongin, Sehun and Zitao are on the couch. They're at Kris's place and just finished dinner, now getting ready for a movie. Baekhyun is on his very important date with Taeyeon right now, and Kyungsoo is in Japan with his family.

Kris walks out to the living room with two big bowls of popcorn and gives them all glares.

"Why are you all here now again?" he sighs, giving the boys on the couch one bowl and sits down next to Yixing with the other one.

"We are all here because you love us, obviously, and want to spend your time with us," Jongdae sings, and Kris only furrows his eyebrows.

Yixing hands the bowl of popcorn to Chanyeol who happily takes a handful, dropping some on Joonmyun who frowns up at him. He looks adorable, wearing Chanyeol's grey t-shirt that is way too large for him even by the arms, and Chanyeol smells like butter when he leans down to give him a small peck right on the lips.

"You guys are gross," Jongdae spits out with a grimace, and Chanyeol looks up to grin at him before rubbing his nose against Joonmyun's. "I want to switch places."

Kris hushes at them before pushing the play button and Joonmyun reaches up with his hand to pull Chanyeol's head down so that he can hear him better.

"We should visit your mom and Jinri when it's Christmas Eve. This time, I'll drive us there," Joonmyun whispers, a smile on his lips and Chanyeol grins back, nodding.

He plays with Joonmyun's fingers under the whole movie and thinks that it would be nice to eat dinner with mom and Jinri, while having Joonmyun with them as a part of a family. He is glad, he thinks, caressing Joonmyun's cheek when he falls asleep towards the end. He is glad to be accepted by the ones he loves.

*

It's too early in the morning on a winter break to be washing clothes together in Chanyeol's bathroom, that is too small, so they keep bumping their knees and arms into each other. Not that he minds. But he's kind of sleepy.

"You should wash your clothes as soon as you've worn them instead of waiting until you've created a huge pile of clothes in the middle of your own bedroom," Joonmyun says, frowning cutely at Chanyeol as he presses out the water with detergents from a t-shirt and rinses it with water. He then gives it to Chanyeol who hangs it up so that it can dry.

They couldn't book a time to wash their clothes today, unfortunately and Joonmyun had suggested they do it themselves. Chanyeol still needs clothes for tomorrow, when they go visit his mom and Jinri. This goes very well, though, even if it's kind of cold because they're both kind of drenched and they aren't even close to finished. Chanyeol considers Joonmyun's words.

He looks down at Joonmyun who is struggling with a pair of jeans. It's hard to press out all the water from it, so Chanyeol laughs before sitting down next to Joonmyun and takes the jeans away from him. "Let your strong boyfriend do it," he coos teasingly and Joonmyun slaps his arm. "This so nice," he says.

"It is," Joonmyun agrees and Chanyeol leans on him. This is so simple, just the two of them trying to wash clothes in a small bathroom, both drenched and freezing a little bit, and nothing special.

But Chanyeol closes his eyes and wants to remember this moment for a long time, trying to capture it, how he finds Joonmyun's soapy hand and Joonmyun is rubbing his thumb between Chanyeol's knuckles. He thinks he wants to stay here forever, where it's only Joonmyun and him and there is no where in the world he'd rather be right now than China.

*

Chanyeol calls his mother and informs her about him coming home today, or else he's pretty sure she would be a little angry. Just like he doesn't like changes, his mother doesn't like surprises. She asks cheerfully if Joonmyun's coming home, too and Chanyeol feels butterlies inside at the word home and tells her yes as he marvels at the good feeling in his chest.

They're putting their backpacks in the car and he is still grinning. "Why are you so happy?" Joonmyun asks when they are sitting in the car and ready to go. "Not that it's a bad thing. I like it when you're happy."

"I feel good today," he says, and wonders for a second how long this happy feeling will last but lets it slide off his shoulders when Joonmyun laughs while starting the car and then they're off.

He must've fallen asleep, because they're already there when he opens his eyes. Joonmyun is shaking him gently by the shoulder. "Wake up, Chanyeol."

It takes not more than five seconds for Chanyeol to wake up properly and gather himself. He steps out of the car and takes both his and Joonmyun backpacks and they head to the door. Joonmyun rings on the door bell.

Chanyeol is already hearing faint voices from inside and rolls his eyes at Jinri and his mom talking so loudly but there is another voice that he recognizes somehow. Joonmyun rings again and they stop talking. Seconds goes by before Chanyeol hears footsteps and he doesn't even have time to register the face in front of him when the door opens before he's pulled down in a bone crushing hug. One of those hugs he always gives people but this is his first time receiving one.

"You've grown so much! Even taller than me now!" a very, very familiar voice says loudly and Chanyeol's eyes widens as he slowly pulls away and he doesn't know if he should laugh or concentrate on holding back tears but in front of him is Yura.

"Noona," he breathes, catching air and she smiles widely at him. It's been eight years. He thinks he's allowed to cry a little, and he hugs her again.

*

"What are you smiling at?" It's Chanyeol's turn to ask Joonmyun when they're changing into more comfortable clothes in his room, and the girls are helping his mom with dinner. He tugs off his jeans and gets into a pair of jogging pants instead.

Joonmyun only smiles wider as he takes off his t-shirt, and Chanyeol helps him, lifting it up and pulling it over Joonmyun's head and arms. He throws Joonmyun a clean t-shirt.

"Your sister looks a lot like you," Joonmyun days, "and you were both so cute."

Chanyeol laughs as he slides his arms around Joonmyun waist from behind and puts his hands against Joonmyun's stomach. "I'm just so glad you are closer to your sister now than before," Joonmyun sighs, leaning his back into Chanyeol's chest. "Are you happy?"

"I am," Chanyeol replies, "and I was happy even before this."

"Why?"

"Aren't you asking the obvious, hyung?" Chanyeol says, pulling him closer. "You are the reason why." Joonmyun replies by smiling and taking Chanyeol's hands and he knows this is Joonmyun saying me too.

They walk into the kitchen and Jinri is putting her hair up in a ponytail, while the others are busy cooking. Yura turns around and gives them a smile before going back to rinsing the vegetables. There is a hand on Chanyeol’s back, pushing him forwards, and he looks back with wide eyes at Jooonmyun.

“Help her with it, and start up a conversation,” Joonmyun whispers, giving him a comforting pat before hurrying up to Chanyeol’s mother and asks her if he can help with something.

The kitchen is too small to fit five people, and Chanyeol has to squeeze himself between Yura and Jinri. Yura scoots away a little bit so that he can at least move his hands properly. He gives her a small grin and if this had been years ago, he would've pushed her away and she would already be yelling for mom. Now is not then, though, and Chanyeol thinks this is a little like learning to know her for row one; almost like learning English in high school only to forget it again and having to start from hi, how are you.

He'd memorized all of Yura's habits, likes and dislikes when they were kids, and now he can't even remember one. Except she hates eating fish.

"I can't believe you're doing that without whining and complaining about it," he says, eyes flickering down to the fish that she's cleaning, and then up to her again. She's all grown up. He is, too. But he's still younger, though, and he takes favor in having someone back who he can act like a brat to.

She wipes away the sweat on her forehead and crooks her head to the side. "About what?"

"Fish," he says, putting on plastic gloves and pokes the fish before picking up a squid and turns on the tap to let the water run over it. "You used to hate it."

"Things change, Chanyeol," she says, but her eyes shines and a smile graces her lips as she leans forward to whisper. "But I still don't like fish. Don't tell mom, though."

She pulls away again and keeps her face straight when their mom asks them what they're whispering about. Chanyeol hides his smile by looking down at the squid in his hands instead.

"Oh, you know," she replies, "just Chanyeol telling me how much he's missed me. Catching up on things."

He hears Joonmyun's and Jinri's soft laughter and thinks, this must be one of those perfect Christmas nights everyone wishes for.

*

Yura is staying in Korea for three months, she tells them over dinner. She stabs the small piece of fish on her plate, without eating it. "Dad didn't like the idea," she says. Stab, stab, stab. "But I'm an adult now and, I thought that I'm old enough to make my own choices. And I haven't seen my family in almost ten years, how sick is that."

Chanyeol is chewing on a meat and rice, eyes on his sister, and Joonmyun glides his hand down from the table to lay it on Chanyeol's knee. “How is he?” Chanyeol asks. The question is hard to force out, and he notices the way his mom’s gaze darkens. Joonmyun and Jinri are staring down at their food, and the atmosphere is heavy now.

“He’s doing good,” Yura responds, shrugging. She finally puts the fish in her mouth and tries not to grimace as she chews. “Stressed from work, I guess, but he always is.” She reaches out for the glass of water but presses her lips together instead of drinking, looking like she has something else to say. “Daehyun is getting older, six years old now, so of course he has to spend more time with the kid, too...”

Yura stops speaking, and Chanyeol puts down his fork. His appetite is gone.

It’s not like he hasn’t heard about Daehyun before, but somehow he doesn’t want to listen anymore. Yura bites her lower lip and they go back to silence as their mother clears her throat and starts to speak with Jinri and Joonmyun joins their conversation. He glances at Chanyeol once in a while, but Chanyeol’s eyes are blank as he tries to finish his food.

When he was six years old, he’d spent most of the time without even seeing his father’s face. He’d leave early for work, and Chanyeol would already be asleep when he was home. His father had not put in any effort in seeing him more, and the old Chanyeol had blamed it on other reasons. He didn’t know what reasons, but he liked to cling onto thoughts that would make him happier.

He imagines how Daehyun can eat breakfast with his father, imagines them going to the cinema together or having family dinners where they can talk about everything and nothing and it aches a little when he closes his eyes and almost hears Daehyun tell their father stories from school. Chanyeol had always wanted to talk excitedly about his favorite teachers, or the new friends that he made. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he is jealous, jealous of the time with his dad that Daehyun has got to have. The time that he never had.

“Are you finished?” Joonmyun’s fingers are brushing against Chanyeol’s arm, dragging Chanyeol back to reality. He nods weakly, and lets Joonmyun take his plate. Dinner is finished and the conversation is dropped, so he breathes in before letting the thoughts fade from his mind when Joonmyun drags him to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

They don’t talk. He holds Chanyeol’s hand even though it’s a bit messy to wash their faces when they can't use both hands, but Joonmyun laughs as he cleans off some toothpaste from Chanyeol’s cheek. When they go out to the living room to watch a movie with the rest of them, Chanyeol is already feeling better.

Next morning, he wakes up on the mattress on the floor and as he opens his eyes, he can feel a hand holding onto his. It's Joonmyun, still sleeping deeply on the couch beside him and Chanyeol smiles before he traces hearts on Joonmyun's wrist. He links their fingers and tugs Joonmyun down from the couch and he lands with a thud right on Chanyeol who chuckles.

"What are you doing?" Joonmyun mumbles lazily without opening his eyes and Chanyeol hugs him close. He doesn't protest, or maybe he's just too sleepy to do so.

Chanyeol is lost in his own thoughts and about to sleep again when someone stumbles out from his bedroom, probably Jinri or Yura since they slept there yesterday, and stops to look at them. It takes a few seconds before his eyes shoots wide open and he lifts his head, hoping that it's Jinri, only to see Yura. Her hair is in a mess and she gives him a tiny smile before going to the bathroom.

He swallows and calms his heart. It's strange, how he found a faint look of disapprovement in her eyes for a few seconds.

Yura doesn't mention it over breakfast, instead complaining about the way Jinri snores. Even when Joonmyun and Chanyeol are getting into he car, does she not ask something.

She hugs him tight and declines when he says she can come to Seoul and live with him if she wants to. "I'll come up to visit," Yura says, hands on his shoulders. "But I want to spend time with mom."

Chanyeol smiles at her. He understands. Just like he's missed his father, Yura must've been through a lot, growning up to an adult without being able to feel their mother's closeness. They say goodbye, and Chanyeol feels like a hole in his heart is currently being filled. There is a place that will never be filled enough, though, and he thinks of his father as they drive home.

*

The end of winter is still cold but the snow has stopped falling and there are a few warm days that allow Chanyeol to take Jongin, Sehun and Zitao out to drink warm chocolate without them complaining that it’s too cold outside. They all order coffee, though, and Chanyeol is reminded once again that they're nineteen now, almost twenty.

"I have to get home before five to study," Sehun says, glancing at his phone as he sips his latte, "which is in about twenty minutes. Did you want to talk about something?" He glances up at Chanyeol now.

"No." Chanyeol makes a face. "I just wanted to spend time with you all, because we haven't seen each other in a while."

"This is very nice, hyung!" Zitao says, grinning and Chanyeol honestly think he's like the sunshine in the middle of two raining clouds, that are Jongin and Sehun.

"Zitao is the only one who appreciates me," he says, glaring at other two and Jongin frowns at him while Sehun sighs.

"I'll stay longer only if you promise to come to the café more," Sehun mutters, leaning back into Zitao, and a smile spreads over Chanyeol's lips.

*

Baekhyun comes by to have dinner with them at Joonmyun's place. "I am so tired," he says and Chanyeol catches the way his voice trembles a little. "Changing majors to business means learning everything from the start also and it's so tiring."

He barely even finishes his food before he has to hurry home because he'd promised his mom to meet the girl. One of her friend's daughters. Chanyeol's eyes lingers on the door when Baekhyun closes it.

"Seems like he hasn't told his parents," Chanyeol mutters, picking up the dishes and puts it all in the sink. He thinks of Baekhyun meeting girls he doesn't want to meet, because there is already one. "That he has Taeyeon noona now."

"I believe he'll tell when he's ready," Joonmyun says, and Chanyeol nods.

My parents don't want me to date a girl whose dad owns only a small bookshop, Baekhyun had told them. He haven't been smiling much these days and Chanyeol wonders how he can have that smile back again.

They are in the middle of washing the dishes, when Chanyeol's phone rings and he puts down the cloth to pull the phone up from his pocket. He doesn't look at the number before answering, and Joonmyun looks at him with curious eyes.

"Hello?" he says, about to pick up the cloth again but Joonmyun shakes his head and mouths it's okay so Chanyeol concentrates on the voice at the other end instead.

"Chanyeol, it's dad," the voice says and Chanyeol isn't sure how to react. He can't register the words and before he has the chance to say something, his father speaks again. "How are you?"

Chanyeol grips the cloth and considers hanging up because how is he supposed to talk like everything's all right to someone he doesn't even remember the face of right now. But then he puts his eyes on Joonmyun and thinks of the unfilled hole in his heart. His father’s voice is soft. It’s unlike how he sounded like when they talked last, a few months ago.

“I’m doing great,” he answers, and stands close to Joonmyun. “How have you been?”

*

Chanyeol spends more time at Joonmyun’s place than his own, even has his clothes in Joonmyun’s closet, and he’s fine like this. He’s so used to having another person right next to him that it becomes strangely empty as soon as he sleeps at his apartment once in a while. There is no one to reach out to and pull close while sleeping, and he misses Joonmyun’s smiles, always.

Winter slowly turns into Spring, and Chanyeol has regular calls with his father in between calling home to his mother, and also dinners with Yura when she finds the time to come visit him. Even though he talks more to his father now, the calls are short, and the conversations still awkward, but Joonmyun rubs his back at nights and tells him that it’s a good progress, so Chanyeol tries.

In the midst of all this, he is constantly worrying for Jinri, too, already nine months pregnant now and about to give birth soon. Joonmyun calls her and always makes sure that Chanyeol gets to know her condition.

“She’s strong,” Joonmyun laughs, as he ends the call and Chanyeol gathers him in his arms. “She was even snapping at me in the phone to stop calling her when she’s trying to sleep, and that we worry too much.”

Chanyeol smiles. He runs his fingers through Joonmyun hair with closed eyes, lips searching for Joonmyun’s and when they find each other and Joonmyun parts his lips slowly so that Chanyeol can taste him, he thinks his heart will never stop racing towards Joonmyun.

*

“Daehyun really is like you in personality,” his father tells him over the phone, and Chanyeol stops what he’s doing to listen more carefully. “He runs around a lot and likes to laugh so much.”

Chanyeol swallows. “You... still remember?” he asks, slowly, and tries not to sound all too excited. He is twenty-one, not eleven. “How I was as a kid?”

“How can I forget?” his father answers, and Chanyeol pushes down his expectations although he doesn’t stop the tiny smile that graces his lips as his father starts talking again.

*

“This is supposed to be a library,” Kris hisses at them, when Jongin talks too loudly and Sehun hisses back at him. Zitao puts a hand on Sehun and makes him calm down. Chanyeol only snickers, and Kris throws him a glare, too, before going back to placing back books on the shelves.

Kyungsoo and Jongdae are both discussing new songs, sharing earphones as Jongdae scrolls down his iPod. Baekhyun is studying in silence, his phone beeping once in a while and that is only when he will look up to answer those messages. Chanyeol assumes they’re from Taeyeon. He sips on his bubble tea and watches them all with fondness while waiting for Joonmyun to finish his shift.

He does not expect Joonmyun to stumble out to them, eyes wide and shining as he grabs at Chanyeol’s arm and pulls him up to his feet.

“Jinri’s baby is born!” he says, and shoves the phone in his hand to Chanyeol.

Jinri is crying, and stumbling on her words as she tells him how beautiful the baby is and how much she wishes they were here right now, and Chanyeol holds Joonmyun’s hand as he listens.

“We’ve got you,” he says, and Joonmyun puts another hand on top of their locked ones. “We’ve got you, Jinri.”

*

These days, Chanyeol wakes up to Jinri sending him photos of the child. It’s a girl, and she’s named it Haneul after much consideration. Haneul is very cute, and Chanyeol looks at the photos in class sometimes, and thinks he can’t wait to hold her in his arms. She’s so tiny, and fragile and so loved by many that it makes her shine brightly.

*

Chanyeol never expects the calls from his father because he knows it will only make him disappointed if it never comes; if his father ever decides to never call again. But he’s always taken by surprise when his phone rings and the caller is dad although he has, somehow, grown used to it. He won’t let himself drown in this, though, because he knows all too well what can go wrong when you do that with uncertain things. His father has always been uncertain. Will always be.

He tells Yura this when they’re having lunch, at the beginning of March and she’s packed all her stuff now, getting ready to go back to London soon. Her baggage are at the hotel and when Chanyeol called their mother last night, she’d sounded so sad. Yura promises to come back in summer, though.

“Dad...” she begins, putting down her fork and knife, “he misses you.”

“He’s never told me,” Chanyeol says.

“Our dad is not good at expressing himself,” Yura tells, putting a hand on top of Chanyeol’s. He wonders. “You have to believe me.”

“The years that went by without him ever calling me,” Chanyeol breathes, “I don’t think I can easily forget that.”

“You don’t have to.” She wipes her mouth with a napkin and some of her lipstick removes, too. “But at least continue to talk to him.”

Chanyeol promises he will, because even if there are days when he doesn’t want to, he still has Joonmyun there to tell him to do so.

*

Chanyeol has just been on the phone with Minseok when Joonmyun arrives home with grocery bags and Chanyeol is fast to take it from him, pressing a kiss to Joonmyun’s forehead. “What are we having for dinner?”

When he doesn’t answer right away, Chanyeol puts the bags on the kitchen table and turns to look at him with raised eyebrows. “Hyung, are you okay?”

“It’s nothing,” Joonmyun says quickly, but Chanyeol is already having his arms around Joonmyun, pushing him closer.

“You can tell me,” he whispers as he leans his forehead against Joonmyun’s. “What is it?”

“My mom called me.”

Joonmyun barely ever talks about his own family, and Chanyeol’s tried asking over the months that they’ve been dating. He knows nothing more than that both are still alive and supports Joonmyun in every way they can. But they want him to marry a nice girl.

Chanyeol puts a hand flat against Joonmyun’s back and leans down to press a sloppy kiss to his lips. “Did she want you to meet girls again?” He’s smiling, but his stomach is turning and he holds Joonmyun closer. Chanyeol finds that jealousy comes so easily, but is very hard to get a rid of.

Last time, Joonmyun had been dragged to a blind date without knowing it and spent time hours eating dinner with a girl named Seohyun. She was pretty, Joonmyun had told him, later at night and he was teasing but Chanyeol still had to force a laugh.

Joonmyun nods now, and buries his face in Chanyeol’s neck. “I want to tell her about you.” He breathes out, and Chanyeol knows he can’t. His heart aches slightly. “I really want to.”

“It’s all right,” Chanyeol exhales, ruffling Joonmyun's hair, and they stay like that for a long time. He finds it hard to imagine Joonmyun with someone else, even if it’s a beautiful girl with long hair and bright eyes, because this, Chanyeol with arms around Joonmyun’s body, feels too perfect to be broken.

*

When it is late at night, and they’re supposed to be sleeping but instead, their bare chests are sticking together as Chanyeol pushes himself inside of Joonmyun, Chanyeol often thinks of how beautiful the man beneath him is. He thinks of Joonmyun with his big heart, forever shining eyes, and of all the pieces of Chanyeol’s heart that he has in his hands.

Chanyeol thinks of China as he sucks beautiful, crimson flowers on Joonmyun’s neck, and dares to think of forever when Joonmyun moans his name, so quiet, yet filled with everything that Chanyeol’s ever asked for and he never wants this to end.

*

Jongdae is making him a cup of tea. He places it down in front of Chanyeol very carefully and sits down on another chair. “What brings you here on a Saturday?” he asks, quietly, because he works in an office and you can’t talk loudly here.

"I was nearby, and Joonmyun hyung is spending time with his parents so there’s no one at home,” Chanyeol says cheerfully, sipping on his tea and he forgets that he talks twice as loud as everyone and Jongdae kicks him. He bites his tongue and winces. “Sorry.”

“You could’ve bought me something to eat, at least,” Jongdae complains, turning his attention to the computer and starts typing something. “You could get me Chinese food.” He flickers his gaze to Chanyeol and smiles. “Please? There’s a restaurant just five minutes away...”

“I’ll be right back,” Chanyeol says, putting down the cup and Jongdae gives him a wide smile before mouthing ‘thank you’.

He finds the restaurant after not long, and it’s pretty busy in there, considering it’s lunch. Chanyeol hasn’t asked Jongdae what he wanted to have, so he randomly takes fried noodles with egg and shrimps.

“Chanyeol?” There is a hand on his back now and he spins around with surprise to see a very familiar face. He blinks three times and finally realizes that it’s Lu Han, and his eyes widens. “This is Chanyeol, right?”

“Lu Han,” he says back, and he is not prepared when he’s pulled into a quick hug.

“It’s been so long!” Lu Han’s smile is just as bright and his face is just as sweet. His hair is pink now, but nothing’s changed. The only difference now is that Chanyeol no longer wants to reach out and run his hand through it. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing great,” he responds. Lately, that’s the answer that comes to his mind immediately. Chanyeol often thinks of Joonmyun’s laughter ringing in his ears and the conversations with Yura and his father, and the pictures of Haneul, when he answers. “You? When did you get back to Korea?”

Someone is handing a white plastic bag to Lu Han, and he receives it before he turns his attention back to Chanyeol. “Just last year, actually,” Lu Han says. “I'm fine, too. Do you remember Victoria from our math class?”

How could Chanyeol forget math classes? Sitting next to Lu Han. Legs pressed against each other. Heart hammering against his chest and Lu Han leaning in too close. Chanyeol smiles, “I do.” Victoria always got full score on all the math tests.

“I’ll be marrying her when we graduate University,” Lu Han tells him softly. “So it is all good.” He laughs and it sounds just the same. “She said that it was on one condition, though. I have to stop dyeing my hair.”

“It’s nice to hear,” he says, and means it.

Chanyeol wonders, in an alternate universe, if it’d been different if he didn’t start to hide his heart back then. Probably not. He glances at the clock, and it is only four hours left before Joonmyun will come home and make dinner for them both. He, without doubt, prefers this universe.

“It’s really nice meeting you again,” Lu Han says, hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder, “but I have to hurry to bring lunch to Vic.”

They say goodbye like that, without exchanging numbers, but Chanyeol doesn’t mind. It would be nice to attend Lu Han’s wedding, though, he thinks. He could bring Joonmyun, and Joonmyun would probably sigh over how beautiful it is, and they would discreetly hold hands under the table. Chanyeol would maybe dare to introduce Joonmyun as his.

He doesn’t know, but he keeps thinking about Joonmyun being a husband to someone else somewhere in the future, and there will be Chanyeol sitting with all their friends at one table because he would never miss Joonmyun’s wedding. There will be Chanyeol, fumbling with his own hands because he will not have Joonmyun’s hand to hold.

Chanyeol gives Jongdae his food, and goes straight to Joonmyun’s apartment, counting the minutes until the front door finally opens and he hurries to the hall to catch Joonmyun when he falls right into his arms.

*

They are driving Yura to the airport on Sunday and Chanyeol sits in the back seats with her while Joonmyun drives. She’s on the phone with their mother and Chanyeol listens as she answers her questions softly. He’d reached out to hold her hand without really realizing it, and he doesn’t let go even though they’re both sweaty.

He has to, though, when they arrive at the airport and have to get off the car. Joonmyun and Chanyeol help her with the baggage. She pulls Joonmyun in for a hug first, patting his back, before pulling away and puts her arms around Chanyeol.

“I’ll come back to visit,” she says. “Don’t be too sad.”

“I’m not sad,” he replies. He’d spent more than five years without her by his side, he can survive a few months. But he still has to stop himself from sighing all the time. “Be safe.”

She picks up her bag and grabs her suitcase, and her gaze is on him. There is something there, as if she wants to ask something, but she ends up waving at them both before going in instead, and Joonmyun locks their hands.

“Come on,” Joonmyun says, tugging Chanyeol towards the car and opens the door to push Chanyeol in the passenger seat and then goes to the driver seat.

“Are you going home?”

“It’s a very nice day today.” Joonmyun reaches over to put the seatbelt over Chanyeol. “I was thinking of a date?”

It’s been almost a month since they last went out somewhere together, so Chanyeol nods excitedly. Joonmyun doesn’t tell him where he’s taking them, but Chanyeol doesn’t think it’s important to know. If it’s the two of them, everything is fine.

Spring, to Chanyeol, has always been cherry blossoms coloring the streets in pink, and it’s no different this year. Joonmyun stops the car when they’re near a park, and then they go out to have a walk. He thinks eyes are on them, when he reaches out to take Joonmyun’s hand, but right now, he tries not to care.

They buy ice cream and eat it while sitting on a bench and Joonmyun manages to get some on his nose. Chanyeol has to press down the urge to lean forward and lick it clean, so he just reaches out while laughing and wipes it away instead.

“Why don’t we do this more?” Chanyeol sighs, and pushes himself against Joonmyun when they’re finished eating.

“We have been busy” Joonmyun replies simply. “You keep staying at my place, so it’s not like we don’t see each other at all.”

“I have to go home this weekend,” Chanyeol says. “To clean.”

Joonmyun laughs. “If I can ask Kris to take over my shift then I’ll come to help you.” Chanyeol only hums and closes his eyes. He wants to ask about Joonmyun’s parents and if they still put him up on dates with girls, but Joonmyun’s rubbing shapes with his thumb against Chanyeol’s palm. He figures it’s not important.

part 7