Hmmmmm..... not tired. I should be, or at least since I'm not I should be doing something productive like writing papers so I have tomorrow nights free for cards at the neighbors house. I wanna start asking people about their sleep habits. I'm just starting to realize that I'm a really bad sleeper. I think I've had maybe four nights of good ( Read more... )

ha, spent 20 minutes against a cop car tonight, for stuff my roommate did.... joy.... we got off without a charge. I'm glad I held my tongue... in my drunkenness I considered telling them what assholes they really were, even though my roommate probably did deserve to get arrested... maybe ( Read more... )

Being hungover while manic is the only time I feel normal. I get a good amount of sleep but not too much, say 7 hours. I can usually control my thoughts until I get this coffee in me. I feel stable. Yay for self medication. Fuck mood stabilizers ( Read more... )

I love rereading drunk posts. I wish I could be blasted when I go to see my therapist. I wish she wasn't so damn busy so I could actually see her once a week like I'm supposed to but I guess I can't complain since it is the campus counseling services and I'm not paying anything. Usually when I get overwhelmed with work and stuff I think well, I ( Read more... )

Ha..... The one thing I've been repeating to myself over and over is this. I'm really getting sick of fucking around with people I don't care about. When I was shy and awkward and really sexually frustrated all I wanted to do was get laid. Now that I've embraced my manic confidence and all that I basically have no problem getting laid whenever I ( Read more... )

Depression is like a bad trip. It's always so much worse when you forget that you're depressed and all the delusional thinking seems valid. It's just like that bad mushroom trip where I was so whacked out I forgot that I had even taken anything so had no idea why everything that was happening was. I've been beating myself up lately, seeing my ( Read more... )

I don't know what it is.... it seems like every time I come back to New Jersey I can't sleep. I don't know whether I feel like I'm wasting time, or there's just something I need to do.... but I sit here at my parents house on their computer and think I could be at my house either studying or hanging with friends until I literally can't stay awake ( Read more... )

well it's been forever since I posted.... I figure it might be nice to post once where I'm not drunk and in the middle of a crazy mood swing. So much has happened since the last post, so I'll just spit out a few things I think of. We got a dog, Connor did to be precise, and she is the cutest little girl in Philly. Training her is taking some ( Read more... )

I'm fading, opaque and transparent.... my existence used to matter to so many, there were so many lives I've touched, and now.... if I didn't make an attempt to contact people, nobody would bother to talk to or think of me. I guess I'm becoming an "old person I used to know" memory to everyone.... the same way many people are to me. Blah. I'm a ( Read more... )

It's only tonight that I've learned to truly appreciate the company of good friends. Almost all my life I've lived with my family, siblings, or good friends and they were constantly around. Even when shit hit the fan, I had my cat Rusty to keep me company. Right now Haider's in India and Connor's staying with either his mom or girlfriend since ( Read more... )