You and I were never really friends. I wanted you. you were too stupid to know it. In a moment I revealed too much in a possibly misconstrued act of friendship because I was sorry I'd been too busy wanting you to ever really know you.

Just because you are too afraid to do anything about your curiosity doesn't mean you have to judge me on how I choose to pursue mine. It isn't my problem that you can't get yourself what you want. I'll be trying to get what I want and however I damn well please. Who do you think you are judging me when you can't even look at an add without whining ( Read more... )

I'm so sick of hearing some people be like, "I love a person for who they are regardless of gender," and "I think gender is something everyone gets hooked up on because it is what society or what we ourselves deem right and good." I don't claim to understand all of what it means to be/feel gay. I'm pretty sure I am, but not positive. I have ( Read more... )

I fly in the left lane with anger at the wheel. Wind on my shoulders brush off all my thoughts. Music loud to shake out all the fake. Muscles tight ready for a challenge. Push, push these these tires as fast at they will turn. Pressing on the peddle, smell the rubber burn. Whiten knuckles wrapping leather like a gift of bottled rage. make it all a ( Read more... )

I realized that of the past 15 or so entries most of them are negative. I am sorry to say that this particular entry won't be any less negative, depressing, or crazy. I did however realize that perhaps I should journal on here or somewhere more often so I may not need to be so upset at one time and slowly get my thoughts and feelings out ( Read more... )

Update on my life. I've come home from college disappointed in the overall experience and will be moving to Texas and going to community college. I wanna see if it is just a fucked up Midwestern mentality where everyone tries at all cost to avoid each other. I got a job as a lifeguard that kinda bites my ass but I'll deal with it over the summer. I ( Read more... )

Daily Schedule ( Read more... )

I don't know if I want to go to ISU next year. I am reluctant to tell anyone because I don't want to be convinced into choosing to stay at ISU or return home and go to Harper. I stay silent even more because I fear others will think I didn't try or I am giving up, who knows, maybe I am. I don't know anyone here and I feel like I'm suffocating and ( Read more... )

I feel like I am covered in smoke. The smell lingers in my nose and clouds around my clothing. To be a deaf mute would be a gift. To turn my head with no comprehension to the sound of your disregard. To hold my tongue from lashing you with words. Throw it all away love, you are nothing but mere whores worth not even a penny. You both should hold no ( Read more... )

So many things to say that you'll never hear ( Read more... )