A few words...

[s00j]

...about bad reviews and how to process them, specifically geared towards other creative people, whether we’ve met or not.
Most of you reading this are no doubt pretty good at dealing with dorks by now. :-)

Take it or leave it: this is advice I’m trying to give to/accept myself right now, first and foremost

Comments

[alfrecht]

Thank you for this reminder!

I am looking forward to hearing your latest music soon...and, with any luck, seeing you again in person in the next six months at some stage! ;)

[s00j]

I owe you an email. I hope you're having many successes this year. :)

[alfrecht]

They comes and they goes, so to speak...!?!

But yes, when you have a moment, I'd love to gab on more with you in the privacy of my own inbox. (Which sounds a bit more claustrophobic than I'd prefer, but you know what I mean!)

Shine on, you crazy amethyst satyr-horn of glory +17! ;)

[ericcoleman]

When I was playing solo I was much tougher. Even when I was in Toyboat, I was tougher. I suppose that a lot of it is that I am pretty defensive of Lizzie, I don't want her to get hurt.

We have had a few nice mentions here and there about our live show. Almost nothing about the CD. The only thing more than "they were fun" that has been written about us said that we were "tuneless" and our lyrics were "utterly forgettable".

This bothered me until I told someone else about it. Their reaction was ... TUNELESS? REALLY? Was he deaf?

After that everything is better, but it still bothers me.

I am a firm believer in the idea that if you are not pissing someone off, you aren't doing it right. I've had long talks with my youngest son about that and how to ignore the folks who don't like you.

I need to get better at it again.

Advice from my voice teachers of long ago

[see_tree_me]

My first voice teacher when I was 16 gave me the following advice about reviews and others' opinions: they aren't worth a damn.

Learn to know your own voice, your own performance with such objective honesty that you can tell exactly how you have done. So that when everyone else comes and praises you for a fabulous job but you know you didn't give 100% or do your best, that you thank them for their appreciation but don't let it alter your truth....

And when someone tells you that your performance was terrible, but you know that you left it all on the stage and it was the best you were capable of that you thank them for their honesty but don't let it alter your truth....

The only exception to this is the few, the handful of people you know and trust as your equals or masters who will give you their honest opinion and it leads to a better understanding of your own truth. Those are the ones you listen to.

For the rest, thank them, and let it go.

[ladywind]

I needed to read this tonight. Thank you.
(Christmas, I had a gig that, as far as the audience was concerned, went alright. *I* knew better; I gave it all I had, but I wouldn't've paid me to listen to it. This Saturday, I play for the same house of folk in a genre I'm more at home with. With hope and practice and nerve, maybe it'll go better. At the end of both gigs, it'll have been, "Thank you, I'm glad to hear that!"...but I'd like to be able to look my autoharp in the face afterwards, you know?)

[wickedladybear]

How apt and timely this is. I am learning a new skill set and just starting to get past the "holy wow this is ugly looking" phase but not yet to the phase of competent I think I should be.
When I showed the first few ugly things around, the people saying "ugh" weren't the ones I needed to listen to, they couldn't give me the constructive criticism needed. But they are voice I heard loudest.
I tend to discount praise as dishonest and disdain as honest, just a consequence of my personal baggage. It takes a bit of doing for me to hear praise and critiques as honest sources of information.
Im going to work on that, but thanks for helping me remember that working on the inner stuff helps develop the skills on the outside and to take the "ugh" with a grain of salt.

Love you too, and just as an FYI, your music is fun as heck to spin to, helps keep the spindle in rhythm instead of falling to the floor.

[elionwyr]

Love *you*.

I know the negative is always the loudest, but that doesn't make it the truth.

I'm so proud of you. <3