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A randy young student from John's,
had a fancy to bugger the swans.
But the loyal hall porter
said, "Sir, take my daughter.
Those swans are reserved for the dons."

There was once a plumber from Leigh,
who was plumbing a boy by the sea,
Said the boy,
"Stop your plumbing,
I think someone's coming."
Said the plumber, still plumbing,
"It's me!"

A dentist, young Doctor Malone,
caught a lovely girl patient alone.
In a fit of depravity
he filled the wrong cavity.
Just look how his practice has grown!

There was a young girl from Aberystwyth,
who took grain to the mill to make grist with.
But the miller's son, Jack,
laid her flat on her back,
and united the organs they pissed with.

There was a young fellow called Hyde,
who fell down a privy and died.
His unfortunate brother
then fell down another.
And now they're interred side by side.