(Untitled)

[sabian108]

So Joe and I have been together for almost 3 years now, and it seems like we are going through a phase where everything we do is getting on each others nerves. We both seem more cranky and irritable towards each other. Maybe its because we are spending too much time together at home doing nothing in particular, or that we are both stressed about

Comments

A possible idea.

[teranistarr]

Maybe you should both try doing things just for you. Hang out with old friends, go someplace you haven't been in awhile. Sometimes it helps to get out from under each others feet. Doing something different will give you new topics to talk about and that might help some. Talk to him about maybe one day a month that's just a "you" day for both of you. Hope this is somewhat helpful and good luck!

Re: A possible idea.

[jeanniecee]

I agree with this, but it doesn't necessarily have to be a specific day, but yeah, getting out and doing things on your own is important from time to time, especially when you're living with someone. It's also kind of important, I find, to have your own space, even if it's just a corner of the apartment that just has your stuff where you do your thing, that can really help. Keep in mind too that quitting smoking is really hard, and although he has been at it for a while, the irritability takes a long time to go away.
When things come up that make you cranky, maybe take a step back, take a breath and figure out how to deal with it in a loving way. What do you need? What does Joe need? If you're not sure, ask him. And doing stuff away from home is also really important. When was the last time you went on a date just the two of you? Not necessarily anything expensive, just a walk in the park or something. I hope this helps *big hugs*

[orenda]

Not like I have all this figured out, but I agree with what the others said. Make space in your lives to be the who you are without each other once in a while. Make sure you're not trying to depend on the other to be everything to you all at once. Try to think over your problems after a day apart doing something you enjoy, when you're not already on each others' nerves to make it easier to sort out the lasting issues from the bad moods. If it's mostly bad moods, sometimes someone just has to be the first to put in the extra effort to break the cycle. I think there is an element of "fake it till you make it". Of course it's not healthy in the longterm to put on a happy face and pretend everything's fine and go on ignoring your own needs. That's not what I mean. But in the short term, it's a different creature. Sometimes when people are being prickly it really means they need a bit of extra care right now. Take a deep breath and choose to let something slide. Choose to concentrate on the things you love about him. Go out of your way to

[jeanniecee]

Yay endorphins! I totally agree with you Amy.